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"I'll lead the way. Go ahead!" - Moe (DIZZY DETECTIVES, 1943)

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Average Rating:     [9.47/10]   25 votes

DOPEY DICKS
While the Stooges are cleaning up a detective's office, a woman enters, claiming she is being followed. She later gets kidnapped and the Stooges snap into action. They soon enter the lab of a mad scientist, who wants a human head for his mechanical body. The scientist chooses the Stooges, who immediately escape with the kidnapped woman.

Featuring
Moe, Larry and Shemp
Release Date
March 02, 1950
Studio
Columbia
Production Type
Short Subject
Duration
15.9 min.
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Production Notes   (2)
Prod. No.:   4131
Shooting Days:   4 days   From: 1949-01-11   To: 1949-01-14

Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 2.50)
Face Slaps: 8 Eye Pokes: 0 Head Bonks: 2 Pastry Thrown: 0

Stooge Quotes   (4)
  • "When you make a left turn put your arm out!"
    (Moe)

  • "What's'a'matter kid? Gotta toothache?"
    (Shemp)

  • "Central section... northeastern section... western section... if I don't hurry, we'll all be in sections!"
    (Shemp)

  • "Strange men are following me!" "They'd be strange if they didn't. Hee hee hee!"
    (Christine McIntyre & Shemp)


Stooge Goofs   (3)
  • Disappearing Bulb
    After Larry turns off the lightbulb in his hand with his tie, the camera cuts to the next shot and Larry's hands are suddenly empty.

  • What's What?
    When the professor walks towards Shemp and Moe with a knife, why does Shemp ask Moe â€Å"What is that?!” and Moe respond â€Å"I don't know”? What were they referring to?

  • Who's Mary?
    When Shemp is fighting with the professor in the bedroom, he calls out â€Å"Moe! Larry! Mary!” Sounds like Shemp either meant to say Moe or Larry again, because there is no Mary in the short (the name of Christine McIntyre's character is never actually said in the short, and according to IMDB and Bill Telfer, her character's name in the script was Louise)


Stooge Routines   (5)

Stooge Trivia   (0)

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Audio Files   (0)

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Video File   (Y)


Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  

This short starts off where we see Larry painting the following sign on an office door that reads as follows with an eyeball underneath the name:


SAM SHOVEL
PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR


We are now inside of the investigator's office where we see Moe sitting at a desk fanning himself with a hand-sized feather mopper as he is looking into thin air and is talking to himself.

MOE: (As he has a look of dismay on his face and is using hand gestures to express himself): "What a day, moving that guy all the way from the thirteenth floor, boy am I exhausted!"

We now see Shemp approaching Moe as Shemp is now toting a desk-sized lantern, a photoshot, an olde fashioned dictation machine, a large-sized wooden safe with papers on it, a large-sized iron paper weight, an addition machine, and a desk-sized telephone.

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is looking at Moe with a mad look on his face as he is using a mad and sarcastic tone of voice says): "I hope you didn't strain yourself carrying that duster!"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is looking at Shemp with a sarcastic look on his face as Moe says to Shemp in a sarcastic tone of voice): "Nawh, I can take it. All right, get to work and put that lamp in the corner!"

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp still has his heavy load and is answering Moe back in a mad tone of voice): "I think it outta go against the wall!"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is now looking at Shemp with a disgusted look on his face and is using a disgusted tone of voice): "The corner!"

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is now fighting with Moe where to put the lantern as he is still toting his heavy load and shouts to Moe madly): "The wall!"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe now has a very disgusted look on his face as he is using hand gestures to support himself shouts loudly at Shemp): "The corner!"

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp has a very mad look on his face and madness in his voice shouts back): "The wall!"

Moe is now thoroughly disgusted with Shemp as Moe is now picking up the iron paper weight from Shemp's heavy load and is hitting Shemp hard on his forehead with it.

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is now seeing 'stars' from being hit as he has now given in to Moe and says in a low and disgusted tone of voice): "The corner!"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is now raising up his feather mopper and says to Shemp in a voice of madness): "That's better!"

Moe has now placed the hand-sized feather mopper on top of all of the other stuff that Shemp is now toting.

MOE to SHEMP: (As Shemp is walking away with his heavy load and a hurtful look on his face as Moe is shouting to him in madness): "Get busy now, and don't drop anything!"

We now hear Larry outside of the office making a lot of loud clatter with his painting pails. Moe is now opening the door to see what all the racket is about. Larry is still busy putting the final touches on his door as he does not notice Moe and has now painted a moustache on Moe.

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry has now noticed that he just painted Moe and has now flinched a tad and is looking at Moe with a look of bewilderment on his face as he is using a mischievous tone of voice says): "A moustache, what an improvement, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe has a disgusted look on his face and is using a mean and mischievous tone of voice says to Larry): "Oh, paint, what do you got in that hand?"

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is now looking at Moe with a blank stare and is using a mischievous tone of voice states): "Nothing!"

We now see Moe who is totally disgusted with Larry taking the paint from Larry's left hand and is now pouring it into Larry's right hand as Moe is now slapping Larry's face with the pawful of paint. Larry is now spitting paint from his tongue.

SHEMP: (In a loud tone of voice): "A-A-A-C-H-O-O!"

Shemp has now fallen flat on his back as he has dropped his heavy load of paraphernalia on top of himself.

SHEMP: (As he is now sitting up and shaking the paraphernalia off of himself with a mischievous smile on his face says): "Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee 'S-N-E-E-Z-E-D'!"

MOE to LARRY: (As we now see Moe being followed by Shemp as Moe is now opening the door to Mr. Shovel's office and is looking around for Larry): "Hey, Larry!?"

Moe now finds Larry standing up with his arm propped on the handle of a carpet sweeper and is fast asleep. Moe has now kicked the carpet sweeper out from under Larry's arm as Larry is still standing there snoozing happily.

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is now slapping Larry hard on his arm in a state of madness as he is now shouting loudly at Larry in a mad tone of voice): "It's five o'clock!"

Larry is now staggering a tad as he is loosing his balance while Moe and Shemp are standing there looking at Larry with looks of dismay on their faces.

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry has now regained his balance and has a hurtful and panicked look on his face says): "I'm up, I'm up!"

We now see Shemp with his hands in his pockets, slowly sauntering towards Mr. Sam Shovel's desk with a look of devilsh mischief of his face.

SHEMP to LARRY and MOE: (As Shemp is now using a serious tone of voice says): "Gee, it must be great to be a Private Eye. You're rough and you're tough. You gotta be ready for anything. You always have a stubby little gun in the top drawer, just in case of trouble!"

We now see Shemp sitting down at Mr. Shovel's desk as he has a look of wonderment on his face and is using hand gestures to support himself as he is now opening one of the side desk drawers and is looking into it as he is now flinching a tad. We now see in the drawer a wide arrange of different calibres of gats.

SHEMP: (As he has now noticed the different gats and has a look of mischief on his hace and is using a mischievous tone of voice as he is now pointing at the gats says): "This guy's expecting a lot of trouble, but what a life. You could be relaxing just like this, (Shemp is now lounging back comfortably in his chair), when a beautiful dame rushes in not knowing where to turn!"

We now see Louise entering into the office with a horrible look of panic on her face as she is now totally out of breath from running as Shemp is lloking at her with a look of bewilderment on his face. Larry and Moe are standing there with horrified looks of panic on their faces as Shemp is now exiting from his chair as Louise is now approaching them in a full blown state of fear and panic.

LOUISE to SHEMP: (As she is now approaching Shemp and is pulling on his suit jacket as she has a horrible look of fear and panic on her face as she is saying to him in a panicking tone of voice): "Oh, I'm in dreadful trouble. I'm desperate, I don't know where to turn!?"

SHEMP to LOUISE: (As Shemp has a look of wonderment on his face and is using a worried tone of voice says to Louis): "I'm sorry, lady, but I......"

LOUISE to SHEMP: (As she is now in a full blown state of panic and is using a really panicking and pleading tone of voice is shouting back to Shemp to help her): "No, no, I won't take now for an answer, strange men are following me!"

SHEMP to LOUISE: (As Shemp is looking at her with a look of mischief on his face and is using a mischievous tone of voice says): "They'd be strange if they didn't, 'hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee'!"

LOUISE to SHEMP: (As she is pulling on his suit jacket and is crying and pleading with him in panic, shouts at him): "Don't you understand?, My lifes in danger, why I can't make a move without, hunh!"

We are now back on the entrance door to Sam Shovel's office where we see this eerie silhoutte of a man about 6' 6", around 250-300 pounds, with a hat on his head with the brim pulled down to cover his eyes as he is also wearing a full length peacoat. He now has his hand on the door knob getting ready to enter in, but now has exited.

We now see Louise with her hands on her face and a horrible look of panic on her face as she is screaming in a panicking tone of voice, while Shemp, Moe, and Larry are standing there looking at her with horrible looks of panic and fear also on their faces.

Louise has now let out a frantic scream as we now see Shemp, Larry, and Moe running out of the office in a frantic state of panic as they are now looking for the 'man at large'.

SHEMP to MOE and LARRY: (As they are now running around in frantic circles out in the corridors as Shemp asks): "What happened to him!?"

LARRY to MOE and SHEMP: (As Larry now has a horrible frantic look on his face and panic in his voice states): "Where, did he go!?"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: (As they are now gathering in a quick huddle as Moe is now yelling at them in a mad tone of voice and they are now running in different directions in a panic as they are looking for the strange man that is after Louise as Moe is now shouting): "Spread out!"

We now see Moe opening a door looking for the 'suspect at large'. Larry and Shemp have now ran into the walls and have knocked themselves out slightly, as they are now regaining their balances.

We are now back inside of Mr. Shovel's office where we see Louise bent over the desk as she is penning a note as the 'suspect at large' still wearing his hat pulled over his eyes and his peacoat. He has now grabbed Louise by her face with his hand over her mouth to stiffle her scream of help> Louise is now being dragged out of the office kicking and screaming in panic and is shouting for help in a muffled tone of voice!"

We are now back out in the corridors where we see Moe running in from the easy as Shemp and Larry are running in from the west as they are now gathering together to compare notes on their searches.

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is looking at Larry with a really worried look on his face as he says to Larry in a worried tone of voice): "What did you find?"

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is using hand gestures to support his answer as he says to Moe in a really panicking tone of voice): "Not a thing!"

As Moe is looking at Shemp with a worried look on his face as Shemp is now looking back at Moe with a sheepish look on his face as Shemp is now waving his head to and fro in a state of negativity."

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: (In a really low toned serious voice says to them as he is now opening the door to Mr. Shovel's office says): "Come on!"

MOE to LOUISE: (As Moe is running into Mr. Shovel's office in a total state of panic as he is starting to say): "We couldn't find him, lady!"

Moe, Larry, and Shemp are now inside of the office as they are looking around with horrified looks of worry and panic on their faces, as they now have discovered that Louise has been abducted!"

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry has a look of worry on his face as with Shemp and Moe as they are now frantically looking around the office for Louise as Larry states): "Now, she disappears!"

We now see Larry opening a door to a closet as he is now looking for her. Shemp has now crawled underneath the desk from the start of the entrance door while Moe is crawling along on the floor from the south part of the office as they also ar looking for Louise. Moe and Shemp are now konking their coconuts together.

MOE to SHEMP: (In a total state of madness as he is now helping Shemp up and has now smacked Shemp on his kisser as Moe is yelling madly at Shemp): "Why, did you make a right turn, put your arm out!"

Moe is now taking hold of Shemp's arm and is looking at Shemp in a state of worry to see if Shemp is all right as Shemp is now rubbing his face in pain. Larry has now found a piece of evidence on the desk.

LARRY to MOE and SHEMP: (As Larry is now smiling in glee at his findings and is saying to them in a proud tone of voice): "Hey, fellas, she left her bracelet's."

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: (As the three of them have looks of worry and panic on their faces as Moe says): "And a note!"

Moe is now reading Louise's not which states as follows:
"Please help me. Take my jewels they're all I have. Come to 275 Mortuary Road. Quick or it will be too late!"

LARRY to MOE and SHEMP: (As Larry is holding the bracelet's and is saying to Shemp and Moe in a very serious and carrying tone of voice): "We gotta help her!"

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is now looking at Larry in a very serious and worried manner says): "Okay, but we'll give her back her bracelet's!"

SHEMP to MOE and LARRY: (As Shemp is now looking at Larry and Moe with a worried look on his face and says in a worried tone of voice): "This is my chance to be a Private Eye, the poor kid is in trouble!"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is looking at Shem with a really devilish look on his face as he is asking Shemp in a really devilish tone of voice): "Well Sherlock, how are you gonna handle the case?"

SHEMP to MOE and LARRY: (As Shemp is now standing there with a look of pride on his face says): "Easy, I'll use my wits."

As Moe and Shemp were having their discussion we saw Larry standing there looking at both of them with a dumbfounded look on his face.

MOE to LARRY: (As Moe is now looking at Larry with a look of dismay on his face as Larry also has a look of dismay on his face as Moe says to him): "Now, she's really in trouble!"

We now see Shemp opening the drawer as he is now removing from the drawer a Colt .45 calibre magnum gat. He is now pointingit at Moe.

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is looking at Moe with a devilish look on his face as Moe now has a look of worry on his face as Shemp states): "Oh, yeh, I outta let you have it."

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe says to Shemp in a really sheepish tone of voice): "Well?"

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp has a sheepish look on his face and is handing Moe the gat says): "You can have it!"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is now taking the gat from Shemp says to Shemp in a really devious tone of voice): "Thanks!"

Moe has now hit Shemp hard on his hat covered coconut with the butt of the gat.

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp has now removed his hat and is saying to Moe in a really mad tone of voice as he is now pointing to the dent in his hat): "Look what you did?"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe still has the gat and says to Shemp in a really devious tone of voice as Moe has now konked Shemp on his coconut with the gat butt): "I'm now finished."

Moe is now in a state of fury as he is now dragging Shemp and Larry out of the office. Shemp by his suit jacket and Larry by his arm as they have looks of hurt and pain on their faces.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: (In a total state of disgust is shouting at them): "Come on, get going!"

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is now shouting at Moe in a state of madness): "Wait, wait a minute, wait, wait!"

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: (As Moe is still furiously mad as he is still dragging them out of the office shouts): "Come on."

As Moe was dragging Shemp and Larry out of the office Shemp has now hit his face hard on the door well, and is now staggering out of the door backwards as he is now catching his hat.

We now see Moe, Larry, and Shemp driving down a winding road on the way to 275 Mortuary Drive. It is night, still weather wind conditions, as vicious and brutal thunderstorm in now in progress.

We are now inside of a dark, dreary, eerie, rickety and dilapidated old mansion where we now see 'Professor Ralph Potter' with a devilish look on his face as he is now hanging up his hat, gloves and peacoat on a coat pole.

We now see Professor Ralph Potter approaching the Doctor with a look of dementedness on his face as the Doctor is now putting on the finishing touches to his experiment, 'MECHANICAL HUMAN BEINGS'!

PROFESSOR to the DOCTOR: (As he is looking at the Doctor with a demented a look on his face and is using a demented tone of voice says): "About your young assistant, I'm afraid she's she's......"

DOCTOR to the PROFESSOR: (As the Doctor now has a look of achievment on his face as he is saying in a proud tone of voice): "Not now Ralph, this is mor important, we're on the verge of the most critical test, if this succeeds we'll make thousands of them. An Army of mechanical men!"

The 'Doctor' has now released the on switch of his 'mechanical man' as it is now marching away in success. As the mechanical man is now marching away we see both the 'Doctor' and the 'Professor' standing there with giant smiles of happiness and success on their faces.

The 'mechanical man invention,' has now walked right into an overhead hanging light as he has now severed off his own head. The 'Doctor' and the 'Professor' have now run up to their 'invention' in a state of fear as the 'Doctor' is now grabbing him to stop him.

DOCTOR to his MECHANICAL MAN: (As the Doctor has a look of panic on his face as with the Professor as the mechanical man is now in the process of decapitating himself): "Look out!"

'DOCTOR' to the 'PROFESSOR': (In a total state of disgustedness and hopelessness now says): "Oh, I've failed again, and that's the third head he's ruined!"

'PROFESSOR' to the 'DOCTOR': (As the 'Professor' is now trying to cheer up the 'Doctor' is now saying): "Don't worry sir, with a bit more research......"

'DOCTOR' to 'RALPH': (As the 'Doctor' is now interupting Ralph in a state of disgust is shouting to him madly): "No Ralph, it's the same old story, he simply can't see where he's going!"

'DOCTOR' to 'RALPH': (As the 'Doctor' now has a devilsh look on his face and is using a high pitched devilsh tone of voice is now saying about his invention): "I know, what he needs is a human head, with a brain, and I propose to get one. Come, with me Ralph, I want to show you something!"

We now see the 'Doctor' and the 'Professor' entering into the 'Mad Scientists Laboratory' where we see, of sorts, an operating table that is a six foot long table with a microscope on it, some testing vials, a hole cut in the centre of the table with a dirty and rusty pail under it and a humongous-sized leaver actioned cleaver.

'DOCTOR' to the 'PROFESSOR': (As the 'Doctor' is now rubbing his hands in a demented state and has a demented look on his face as the 'Professor' is standign by his side with a look of devilment on his face as the 'Doctor' says): "There, this will doe the job neatly and cleanly!"

The 'Doctore' is now demonstrating his invention to the 'Professor' as he has now released the leaver sending the cleaver flying at a fast and rapid pace.

'DOCTOR' to the 'PROFESSOR': (As the cleaver is now chopping at a wicked pace and the 'Doctor' has an evil and demented look on his face says): "Look, see, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, that's all there is too it!"

'DOCTOR' to the 'PROFESSOR': (As the 'Doctor' is now standing there giving the 'Professor' an evil and really demented look says in a evil tone of voice): "Now, if I only had a human head?"

'PROFESSOR STANLEY' to the 'DEMENTED DOCTOR': (As the 'Professor' is now looking at the 'Doctor' with a look of panic on his face and is using a panicking tone of voice as he is now backing away in a state of panic): "No, no!"

'DOCTOR' to the 'PROFESSOR': (As the 'Doctor' is now approaching the 'Professor' in a demented state as the poor 'Professor' is now backing away in panic as the 'Doctor' says): "Ralph?"

'PROFESSOR' to the 'DEMENTED DOCTOR': (As the 'Professor' is now in a really panicking state as he is trying to escape with his head on from the demented 'Doctor' is pleading in a state of panic): "No, no!"

'DEMENTED DOCTOR' to the 'PROFESSOR': (As the 'Doctor' is now approaching Ralph in a state of demented begging says): "Your brain, for science?"

'PROFESSOR' to the 'DOCTOR': (As he has a look of hurt on his face and is using a pleading tone of voice says): "But, I haven't got any brains. You've told me so yourself, remember?"

Moe, Larry, and Shemp are now approaching the eerie 275 Mortuary Estate as they were getting ready to ring the doorbell a large clap of thunder and a giant blast of lightning has now greeted them. They are now looking at the lightning filled sky with a really hurt and panic looks on their faces. The lightning party for the time being has now ended as Moe is ringing the doorbell.

We are now inside of the 'Laboratory' of the 'Demented Doctor' and his assistant the scared and petrified 'Professor'.

'DEMENTED DOCTOR' to the 'PROFESSOR': (As the 'Doctor' is holding the hand of the petrified 'Professor' and has an evil look on his face and is using a very demented tone of voice says): "Ah, visitors!"

The 'Doctor' is now looking through an old telephone that is set up as a spy glass as we see the very scared Moe, Shemp, and Larry standing outside and are knocking on the door in a horrified state of fear.

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is looking at Shemp with a look of dismay o his face and is using a worried tone of voice states): "That's funny, no answer!"

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is looking at Moe with a really scared look on his face and says in a scared tone of voice): "Well nobody's home, let's go!"

We now see the poor really scared Shemp turning to leave as he is now being grabbed and dragged back by Larry and Moe.

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is using a serious tone of voice says to Shemp): "Wait a minute, you wanted to be a Private Eye, now you have to go through with it!"

We are now back on the 'Demented Doctor' and his helper the 'Professor' as the 'Professor' is now looking through the 'telelphone' to see who is standing outside.

'PROFESSOR' to the 'DEMENTED DOCTOR': (As the 'Professor' is looking at the 'Doctor' with a look of dementedness on his face and is responding to the 'Doctor' in a demented tone of voice): "Ah, three of them, there's the answer to your problem!"

'DOCTOR' to the 'PROFESSOR': (As the 'Doctor' also has a look of wickedness on his face and is using a wicked tone of voice): "Perhaps you're right Ralph, show them in, show them in!"

Ralph is now walking to the main entrance door as Moe has knocked once again as they are still standing there wiht horrified looks of fear and panic on their pusses.

MOE to SHEMP and LARRY: (As Moe is now knocking once again on what he think's is the door but ends up to be the forehead of the 'Professor' as Moe is using a really worried tone of voice): "Besides, that little girly is in trouble and we gotta get to the bottom of it!"

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is trying to make his get away in fear and Moe and Larry are dragging him back as Shemp says in panic): "Well, you hit one."

Moe has now hit the 'Professor' hard on his forehead as the 'Professor' is standing there with a blank look on his face as we see Shemp and Larry boogeying out of there in total fear and panic as they are once again being grabbed and dragged back by Moe.

'PROFESSOR' to SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY: (As the three of them are looking at the 'Professor' with really horrified looks of fear on their faces and the 'Professor' is looking at them with a look of devilment on his face and is using a devilsh tone of voice says): "Come in, gentlemen, come in!"

We now see Shemp, Moe, and Larry removing their hats as they are now getting ready to enter the dilapidated old mansion in a state of fear as another loud clap of thunder followed by an evil shot of lightning has greeted them once again. Shemp, Moe, and Larry are looking at the evil storm ridden sky with looks of horrible fright as the 'Professor' is standing there looking at it with a very evil and demented look on his face.

We are now inside of the dark, dreary, eerie and dilapidated old mansion where Moe, Shemp, and Larry are now shuttering and looking around in horrible states of fear as the 'Professor' is now closing the main entrance doord in a wicked manner.

'PROFESSOR' to the POOR PETRIFIED SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY: (As the 'Professor' is using an evil tone of voice says to them): "Premit yourselves at home, your hats?"

MOE to the 'PROFESSOR': (As Moe, Shemp, and Larry are standing there 'quaking in their boots' from fear as Moe says to the 'Professor'): "Nawh, we'll hold on to them, where's the young lady that lives in this house?"

'PROFESSOR' to SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY: (As the 'Professor' is now standing there with his hands clasped together as he has an evilish blank look on his face and says in a devilish tone of voice): "Young lady? About five foot two, with golden hair, blue eyes, longing curly lashes? Haven't seen her!"

As the 'Professor' was describing Louise Moe, Shemp, and Larry were standing there saying, 'yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, in excitement thinking they were going to be led to her.

'PROFESSOR' to MOE, SHEMP, and LARRY: (As the 'Professor has a wicked look on his face and a wicked sounding voice says as Shemp, Larry, and Moe are now flinching back in fear): "Haven't seen her!"

MOE to the 'PROFESSOR': (As Moe is now looking at the 'Professor' with a look of madness as with Larry and Shemp as Moe is shouting at the 'Professor'): "Now, wait a minute, we know the girl's here. Now come clean buddy, or we'll......(Moe is now reaching into his suit jacket pocket like he is reaching for the gat).

'PROFESSOR' to MOE: (As the 'Professor' is giving Moe an evil look and has an evil tone of voice says): "Suppose, ah, you step in and see the Master, perhaps he can help you!"

MOE to the 'PROFESSOR': (In a full blown state of agreement says): "Okay!"

We now see Shemp, Moe, and Larry happily and bravely approaching the 'Demented Doctor, Master' with looks of fear on their faces but in great derermination to help Louise.

'PROFESSOR' to SHEMP, MOE, and LARRY: (As the 'Professor' is saying to them in a wicked and serious like tone of voice): "Just a moment gentlemen, one at a time, the 'Doctor' doesn't like crowds."

Larry, Shemp, and Moe are standing there with really horrified looks of petrification on their faces at what the 'Professor' had just stated as the 'Professor' is looking at them wickedly.

PROFESSOR to LARRY: (As the 'Professor' is wickedly measuring Larry's coconut says meanly): "Ah, nice, high forehead, you......"

MOE to the 'DEMENTED PROFESSOR': (As Moe is stopping him in a state of worry says to him in a scared tone of voice as he is now trying to help Larry): "Just a minute, I'm the 'brains' of this outfit!"

'PROFESSOR' to MOE: (As the 'Professor' is now putting his hands on Moe's shoulders gently and is saying to Moe with a wicked look on his face and is using a really wicked and evil tone of voice as his now patting Moe on his back in total dementedness says): "Brains,? Come with me!"

MOE to the 'PROFESSOR': (As Moe is now happily following the 'Demented Professor' not knowing what is in store for him): "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"

We now hear more thunder rumbling wickedly as Moe looks up at it in a slight state of fear as he is now approaching the 'Laboratory' of the 'Demented Doctor'. Shemp and Larry are now in the background as they are watching Moe go with the 'Professor' with horrified looks of panic and fear on their faces as they are still holding onto their hats.

Moe has now entered into the 'Mad Scientists Laboratory' as we now see Shemp and Larry looking at Moe's direction in panic, as they are now deciding to exit.

We now see the wicked 'Professor' who is now back out in the main corridor quarters as he is now catching Shemp and Larry as they were trying to make their get away.

'PROFESSOR' to SHEMP and LARRY: (As the 'Professor' is saying to them wickedly as Shemp and Larry are now looking at him totally petrified out of their skins): "Don't go away gentlemen, we may need all of you, 'ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha'!"

Shemp is saying, 'hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee', in a horrified state of fear as Larry is also laughing, 'ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,' out of a state of petrified panic.

SHEMP to LARRY: (As Shemp has a really scared look on his face as with Larry as Shemp is saying to Larry in a low and petrified tone of voice as they flinch a tad from fear as they are looking at one another): "I don't like the looks of that guy!"

LARRY to SHEMP: (As Larry is now looking at Shemp totally freaked out says back): "Neither, do I, you keep your eye on him, I'll go look for the girl!"

Larry has now exited down a south corridor on his search for Louise as Shemp is now at the door of the 'Demented Doctor' and 'Professor' and is down on his knees as he is peeking through the key hole at them.

We are now back inside of the 'Laboratory' of the 'Mad Scientists' as the 'Professor' is now approaching the 'Demented Doctor' and is pointing at Moe with a wicked look on his face.

'PROFESSOR' to the 'DOCTOR': (As the 'Professor' is presenting Moe to him as Moe has a really scared look on his face as the 'Doctor' is looking at Moe wickedly as the 'Professor' states): "This is the best of the lot, 'Professor', which isn't saying very much!"

MOE to the 'PROFESSOR': (As Moe is smiling at him with a look of sheepishness on his face and Moe is using a mischievous tone of voice says proudly to the 'Professor'): "Thank-you, thank-you!"

'DEMENTED DOCTOR' to MOE: (As he is looking at Moe evily and says to Moe in a wicked tone of voice as Moe is smiling at him happily): "I say, that will be all Ralph!"

MOE to 'RALPH': (As Moe is looking at 'Ralph' with a mad look on his face and is yelling at him meanly): "Yeah, that will be all 'Ralph'!"

MOE to the 'DEMENTED DOCTOR': (As the 'Demented Doctor' is now looking Moe over in a really demented manner as Moe is saying to him in regards to the 'Professor'): "Queer, sort of a duck!"

'DEMENTED DOCTOR' to MOE: (In a full blown state of dementedness): "Yes, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha'!"

MOE to 'DOCTOR DEMENTED': (As Moe is looking away with a freaked out look on his face says): "You're all right!"

MOE to 'DOCTOR DEMENTED': (As the 'Doctor' is now feeling Moe's head wickedly as Moe is now turning back around and is pushing his hand aside and is asking in a state of nervousness): "Hey, what's this all about, there's a young lady here and we want......"

'DEMENTED DOCTOR' to MOE: (As the fully wicked and 'Demented Doctor' says to Moe in an evil tone of voice): "In due time, my dear sir, in due time. First I want you to look down that hole, well, you'll be surprised!"

MOE to the 'DEMENTED DOCTOR': (As Moe is now slightly bent over and is looking down the hole with a blank look on his face as the 'Doctor' is standing there with the most demented look on his face as you can imagine as Moe states): "What'll I got to loose!?"

MOE to 'DOCTOR DEMENTED': (As Moe has now taken a quick look at the hole and is saying to him in a mischievous tone of voice): "Sort of a garbage disposal, I didn't see anything!"

'DOCTOR DEMENTED' to MOE: (As he is saying to Moe in a wicked tone of voice as he is now dementedly pushing Moe's head to the hole says): "Take a good, L-O-N-G look!"

Doctor Dementd has now evily released the leaver on his humongous-sized cleaver as Moe has now in the nick of time gotten his head out of the way.

Moe is saying as he is now frightfully running for his life as the 'Demented Doctor' is evily chasing after the purely petrified and hysterical Moe, 'Aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa'!

SHEMP: ( As he sees Moe trying to reach the door and is frantically trying to exit as we see Shemp standing up in a really horrible state of fear and panic at what he just saw): "Every man for himself, 'aaah!"

Shemp has now in a horrible state of panic ran for the front entrance door and now has grabbed the doorknob in panic. As he is now trying to use the doorknob as he is pulling on it frantically he has now stretched out like a rubber band and is now slamming back in. Shemp has now tried the 'rubber doorknob' several times and is being dragged back with it everytime as he is now smashing his face hard against the door everytime. Shemp is now 'high tailing' it at a raped pace in a full blown state of panic down the main corridor looking an alternate escape route. As he is now flinching in total fear from the thunder and lightning.

We now see Shemp running for safety behind a draw curtain set for safety where poor Louise is also at, gagged and hog-tied to a chair. The thunder storm is now at it's peak of fury.

LOUISE to SHEMP: (As she is wiggling to and fro in panic from being tied up says to Shemp in garbbled tone of voice): "Oh, help me!"

SHEMP to LOUISE: (Wit a look of mischief on his face and is using a mischievous tone of voice says): "What's the matter kid, you got a toothache?"

LOUISE to SHEMP: (As she is still struggling to get free and has a full blown tone of panic in her voice shouts in a garbbled voice): "Help me outta here!"

SHEMP to LOUISE: (As Shem is now approaching her in a helpful manner as he is removing the gag from her mouth says): "What you say, wait until I take this off!"

LOUISE to SHEMP: (As she has a look of relief on her face and says in sorta relaxed tone of voice): "Oh, thank goodness you got here, you're not a minute to soon, well, untie me!"

SHEMP to LOUISE: (As Shemp is now bending over and removing the ropes from the panicking Louise as he is using a carrying tone of voice says): "Oh, okay!"

We are now back inside the 'laboratory' of the 'Mad and 'Demented Doctor' where he is chasing the really scared and petrified Moe around the premises trying to catch him. We also see the 'Headless Mechanical Monster' stopped and standing in front of a portable chemicals wagon.

We now see Moe and 'Doctore Demented' fighting with one another as they are wildly and frantically throwing equipment at one another in madness. Moe is in a state of fear as he is running for his life as 'Doctor Demented' is in a state of dementedness as he is frantically running after Moe trying to catch him. Moe has now hit 'Doctor Demented' with the coat pole.

Moe is now frantically pulling at a doorknob that he now finds locked in fear as he is trying to escape to safety. 'Doctor Demented' has now picked up a huge sword and is charging at Moe with it.

MOE to 'DOCTOR DEMENTED': (As Moe has a look of panic on his face and is using a panicking tone of voice as he is now raising his arms in fear): "Yenh, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, take it easy, easy now!"

Moe has now ducked the evily 'Demented Doctor' and his sword. We now see Larry standing out in the main corridor with a horrifed look of fear on his face as 'Doctor Demented' has now lunged his sword threw the door and is now stabbing Larry hard on his backside.

We now hear Larry screaming in total pain and with a look of dreadful panic on his face says, 'Aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah,' as he is now loosing his balance and is falling face first into a bowl of various different cacti's. Larry is now standing up in horrified pain as he is now frantically prying off a cactus from his face.

We are now back inside 'Doctor Demented's' laboratroy as we see Moe running frantically in all directions like a 'chicken without a head' trying to find an escape route for safety as the 'Demented Doctor' is wildly chasing after Moe to catch him.

MOE to the HEADLESS MECHANICAL MONSTER: (As Moe is looking at him with a scared look on his face and not realizing the monster is now headless says to him in a state of worry): "You better beat it bud, a guy can get his head cuf-off around here. You'll find it in a bucket!"

Moe is now starting to exit as he is now turning around in a state of fear and panic as he has now noticed that the 'Mechanical Monster Man' is all ready headless.

MOE: (As he is running in a horrible state of fear and panic is yelling at the top of his lungs in petrified fear): "Meanh, meanh, meanh, meanh, meanh, meanh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!"

We are now back on Shemp and Louise as Shemp has now finished un-tieing the poor panicking Louise as Shemp is smiling at her happily.

LOUISE to SHEMP: (As she is reaching over to a wardrobe and is taking a clipping from a newspaper off of it and is showing it to Shemp in fear): "Oh, thanks, those men a fiends, look!"

SHEMP: (As he is now reading the newspaper article in a state of seriousness but yet slightly scard al Louise has a look of total fear on her face):
"Two men escape State Hospital, all points alarm goes out!"

SHEMP to LOUISE: (As Shemp is looking at her with a look of carryingness on his face and is using a reassuring tone of voice to Louise): "Well, you can stop worrying sister, nothing's gonna happen while I am around!"

As Shemp is now happily reading other articles in the newspaper, we now see 'Doctor Demented' with a huge shiv and is getting ready to hit Shemp with it as Louise now has a horrified look of fear on her face and is screaming in a state of full blown fear, 'Aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh'!

Louise is now running away in a state of franticness as Shemp is now looking at the curtains in worry to see if can find what was freaking out Louise so badly.

We now see Louise standing in front of a bookshelf case with a really horrible look of fear on her face. Shem has now gently leaned back on the bookshelf case which happens to be a revolving one that leads to a secret hiding place. The revolving bookshelf case has now made a 360 degree circle and has returned to it's normal position with Louise now being kidnapped by the 'Demented Duo'!

SHEMP: (As he is now turning around and is looking at Louise, but now has flinched when he has noticed once again that she has disappeared): "I don't see nothing, 'eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb,' gone again, what makes her so restless, 'hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee'!

Shemp is now looking at the curtains in a state of panic as they are now moving from the other side. Shemp is now in a state of panic picking up from a wardrobe a candle-abra and is now approaching the moving object on the other side of the curtains.

SHEMP: (As he has now hit on the head hard with the candle-abra the moving object on the other side of the curtains and shouts with glee): "Got him!"

Shemp is now opening the curtains and is exposing into view one very furiously mad Moe.

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp now has a petrified look on his face and says in a questionable and worried tone of voice): "Moe, is your head okay!?"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe has a devious look on his face and is asking in a mean and questionable tone of voice): "Yeah, yeah, pretty good, what did you hit me with?"

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp now has a look of worry on his face and is responding in low and worried tone of voice as he is now showing Moe the candle-abra): "This?"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is now taking the candle-abra from Shemp and says in a devious tone of voice): "Oh, pewter!"

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp now has a look of mischief on his face and is using a mischievous tone of voice says): "Yeah, it's an, 'an-tee-key'!"

We now see Shemp getting hit hard on his head by Moe with the candle-abra. Shemp is now rubbing his head in pain and has a painful look on his face as he is saying in pain, 'Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh'!

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is now rubbing his head in pain and is using hand gestures to support himself is saying to Moe in a state of worry): "I found the girl all right, but she disappeared!"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is now snapping his fingers and has a look of bewilderment on his face as he is saying to Shemp in a serious tone of voice): "That's it, disappear, that's what we gotta do, come on!"

We now see both Shemp and Moe running for their lives out of the library room quarters to a window. As Moe and Shemp are now raising the window blind and are starting to open the window they are now being greeted on the other side of the window by the evil and demented 'Professor' who is now trying to grab them in a state of dementedness as he has a huge knife in his mouth.

Moe and Shemp both are running in the other direction in a state of fear and panic as they are yelling, 'yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh, yooouh' in fear as they are now trying to find a safe escape route.

Moe and Shemp have now reached the main entrance curtains thinking they have now found a safe escape route. As they are now drawing back the curtains they are being greeted by 'Doctor Demented' who has a really evil and demented look on his face, as 'Doctor Demented' is now approaching Moe and Shemp in a really evil state as he is toting with himself a humongous cleaver and pail. Shemp and Moe are now yelling in a horrible state of fear and panic 'Yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh, yowh'!

Moe and Shemp are now backing up away from 'Doctor Demented' with really terrified looks of fear on their faces.

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is shaking now in utter fear and is using a shakey tone of voice asks Moe): "Moe, Moe, what is that?"

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe is now shaking from fear and is saying to Shemp in a really scared and petrified tone of voice): "I don't know!"

Moe and Shemp have now lost their balances and are falling backwards as we now see them getting swallowed up by the revolving bookshelf case. They have now fallen into a bedroom quarters hard on their backs. Moe is now getting up in a frantic state and is running to the door and looking to see if everything is now honkey-dorey. Moe thinking that everything is good, is now pulling back the bed coverings off of the bed and is now laying down on the bed and is hiding underneath the beadspread. Shemp is now coming too as he is standing up and regaining his stature.

We are now on the bed where Moe is hiding underneath the bedspread and we now see Shemp taking cover underneath the bed. The thunderstorm is now acting wildly and totally out of control. Shemp has now grabbed an edging of the bedspread and is hiding his face with it as we noe hear another loud clap of thunder and see a huge blast of lightning.

As Moe is now resting comfortably on the bed only being half covered by the bedspread and Shemp is now happily hiding his face with the bedspread as he is feeling safe underneath the bed. The bedroom entrance door has now bounced open.

We now see the 'Demented Professor' entering in with a demented look on his face. We now see Moe laying on the bed with his hands over his eyes as he is thinking that he is hidden and cannot be seen by anyone. The 'Demented Professor' is now sneaking up on Moe with the most evilist and dementedness look on his face going as he is now wickedly approaching Moe with a giant cleaver. Moe has now noticed the 'Demented Professor' as he is now sitting up in a horrified state of panic and is yelling, 'Yenh, yenh, yenh, yenh, yenh, yenh, yenh, yenh, yenh, yenh, yenh. yenh,' in fear as he has in the nick of time missed be chopped by the 'Demented Cleaver Swinging Professor'.

Moe is now runnign fro his life through the revolving bookcase shelfs which on the bedroom quartes side is a wall with three photoshots on it. The 'Demented Professor' has now jumped on the bed hard as he is sending it down and is now crushing Shemp with it.

We now see a quick glimpse of Shemp underneat the bed as Shemp is now yelling out in horrible fear and panic as he is now being jabbed in the back by the bed springs, 'Yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, yoouh'!

The 'Demented Cleaver Swinging Professor' has now taken after Moe in a full blown demented manner through the revolving wall.

We are now back underneath the bed where we see poor Shemp raising himself up and down in pain and fear as he is yelling in a state of panic, 'Ooowh, ooowh, ooowh, ooowh, ooowh, ooowh', as he is now frantically trying to get both the bed springs and matress set off of himself.

Larry has now entered into the bedroom quarters in a horrible state of fear and he is now hearing Shemp yelling out in panic.

SHEMP: (As he is yelling out loudly in panic and fear for help): "Oooh, oooh, oooh, Moe, Larry, 'H-E-L-P'!"

LARRY to SHEMP: (As Larry is now running over to the bed in worryment as he is now trying to lift the matress and spring set off of Shemp says in a carrying tone of voice): "Don't worry kid, I'll have you out in a minute!"

As Larry is now frantically trying to remove the matress and springs set off of Shemp we now see the outrageously 'Demented Mental Case Doctor Demented' entering in wiht his huge cleaver and pail.

Larry is now frantically trying to remove the matress and springs from Shemp as Larry is now standing up to re-adjust himself to get a better balance and go back to helping Shemp has now noticed "Doctor Demented' trying to chop off his coconut. Larry has now hit 'Doctor Demented' hard in his stomach as Larry is now making a mad dash through the bedroom entrance door for saftey as Larry has a really panicking look on his face.

SHEMP to LARRY: (As Shemp is still trapped underneath the bed and has no recolection of 'Doctor Demented' being present as Shemp yells in panic): "Larry, what are you waitin' for?"

SHEMP: (As he is thinking that he is talking to Larry is saying in fear): "Give me a hand will ya? Give me a hand!"

We now see 'Doctor Demented' taking hold of Shemp's hand and is dragging him out from underneath the bed.

SHEMP: (As he still think's that he is talking to Larry and has no recollection whatsoever that he is being helped out by the 'Demented Doctor' who has a very demented look on his face as Shemp is now saying): "Oh, I was suffocatin' under there!"

SHEMP: (As he is standing up and is slightly bent over brushing dust off of himself as he still think's he is talking Larry says): "Oh, oh, my goodness thanks Larry I nearly......"

Shemp has now noticed that he was being helped by 'Doctor Demented' as the evil 'Doctor' is now taking a wicked and blind chop at Shemp as Shemp is now yelling in panic, 'Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh,' grabbing his hands and is fighting for his life as he is frantically trying to get the cleaver away from this deranged lunatic of a 'Doctor'.

SHEMP: (As he is yelling at the top of his lungs in a horrible state of frantic fear): "Oh Moe, Larry, oh Moe, oh Larry, Larry, oh!"

We now see the 'Demented Doctor' backing Shemp up against the wall as Shemp is furiously panicking as the 'Demented Doctor' is wildly swinging his cleaver at Shemp, as Shemp has now ducked in the nick of time as 'Mr. Doctor Demented' is now brutally stabbing the wall which has now caused a vase that was sitting on an upper shelf to come crashing down and smashing the 'Doctor' hard on his coconut.

We now see 'Doctor Demented' knocked out cold leaning against a wall while Shemp is now high tailing it out of there like a 'bat out of hell' in a horrible state of fear and panic through the revolving wall trying to find still and escape for safety.

Shemp is now out in the main corridor as he is thinking that he has found his safety route when we hear both Moe and Larry yelling out in panic as they are being chased by the 'Cleaver Swinging Professor'. Larry has now ducked for safety in a room on the right side of the corridor while Moe has now ducked for safety in a room on the left side of the corridor while we see Shemp peeking out of the curtains of the bedroom quarters watching what is going on.

The thunderstorm is still at it's peak of fury as we see the 'Demented Professor' enter into the room where Larry has gone to hide. As the 'Demented Professor' has now entered Larry's room we see Larry hiding underneath a lamp shade as he now has a light bulb in his left paw. The 'Professor' has now activated the 'Larry Lamp' by pulling on Larry's tie which has now caused the light bulb in his left hand to go on.

We now see the 'Demented Professor' entering into the room with an evil look on his face still toting his shiv. Larry has now lifted the lamp shade from his face to see if the coast is clear and he can make a break for it.

SHEMP: (As he is now getting ready to dial a wall mounted telephone with a really hurt look on his face and is using a hurtful tone of voice says): "Poor Larry. Operator, operator, get me the 'State Hospital', quick!"

OPERATOR to SHEMP: (As she is saying to Shemp in a really robotic tone of voice): "Look in your directory, please, clear!"

SHEMP to the OPERATOR: (As Shemp has a really worried look on his face and is begging the operator for assistance is now saying): "Listen operator, I ain't got no directory!"

OPERATOR to SHEMP: (As the operator is still talking to Shemp in a sing-song style of voice says): "Operator, look behind you, please, clear!"

We now see Shemp still on the telephone with the operator as he is now slightly crying thinking that Larry is in a peck of trouble and that the operator is being mean and won't give him the telephone number as he has requested. Shemp has now decided to try the operator's advice as he has now turned around and look at a table behind himself as he has now flinched in a state of fear as Shemp has now noticed a collection of telephone directories sitting there.

Shemp has now frantically hung up the telephone receiver as he has now picked up a stack of different regions of telephone directories as he is now reading off the the different regions as he is looking through each one for the 'State Hospital' number and is tossing them onto the table after he is done with them: "Central Section," "North-East Section," "Western Section," "Vital Prairie Section," "New Albany Section," (this is the one that has the telephone number for the 'State Hospital'), maybe it's in here!"

We are now back in the room where Larry has now taken cover and is still standing there playing lamp as he is still wearing the lamp shade as a hat and the lit light bulb in his left paw. The 'Demented Professor' is now eerily walking around in circles holding onto his cleaver as he is now wickedly looking around for Larry. Larry is now being as 'quiet as a little mouse' as he has now pushed the lamp shade back enough on his head to see where he is going as he is still holding onto the lit light bulb and is now quietly opening the door and is trying to sneak out. As Larry has now opened the door his now being greeted by 'Doctor Demented' who has a wicked look on his face. Larry has now hit 'Doctor Demented' hard in the stomach with the lamp shade as Larry now has a horrified look of fear and panic on his face as he is now running for his life in the opposite direction still holding onto his lit light bulb. Larry has now slammed the door in 'Doctor Demented's' face as he has now pulled on his own tie and has now turned off the light bulb.

We now see Larry in the 'Main Laboratory' being chased in total fear and panic by the 'Cleaver Swinging Demented Professor'. Larry has now in fear shoved over a portable chemicals wagon as he is now runnign for his life. We now see Larry with a horrible look of fear and panic on his face being chased by the 'Demented Professor' as they are now in front of the 'Headless Mechanical Monster'. The 'Demented Professor' is now chopping wildly at Larry as Larry has now run into the bedroom quarters and has locked the door and dove under the bed for safety.

The 'Demented Professor' has now shoved the portable chemicals wagon that the 'Headless Mechanical Monster' was holding onto too hard causing him to 'come to life' as the 'Demented Professor' is now frantically pulling on the bedroom doorknob trying to open it up.

The 'Headless Monster' is now walking in circles out of control in the 'main laboratory'.

We are now back on Shemp who is frantically pawing through the telephone directories in a state of fear as he is now trying to located the telephone number to the 'State Hospital'.

SHEMP: (In a total state of glee as he has now found what he is looking for says in a happy tone of voice): "State Hospital, here we are, 'Main 2468'."

Shemp is now muttering to himself the telephone number to the 'State Hospital' three times, 'Main 2468,' 'Main 2468,' Main 2468'. Shemp is now at the telephone as he is now ringing the operator.

SHEMP to the OPERATOR: (As Shemp has now gotten hold of the operator and has a dumbfounded look on his face as he is now forgetting the telephone number and is saying): "Operator, I want 'Main, Main, Main? hunh!"

SHEMP: (As he has now hung up the telephone as he has now forgotten the telephone number. In a total state of disgust as he is now totally mad at himself and is now returning to the stack of telephone directories): "How do you like that?"

As Shemp is now once again pawing through one of the directories to locate the telephone number to the 'State Hospital' we now see the 'Headless Monster' entering out into the main corridor.

SHEMP: (As he is now once again located his telephone number as he has a happy tone of voice and is saying as he is now approaching the telephone): "Ah, 'Main 2468,' now we'll have action!"

SHEMP to the OPERATOR: (In a total state of glee as he is saying to the operator): "I got it operator, it's 'Main 24......'"

As Shemp is now happily starting to tell the operator the telephone number that he wants the 'Headless Monster' has now bumped into Shemp from behind.

SHEMP: (As he is still on the telephone but now is in a horrible state of panic and fear, as he is feeling behind himself and is saying in a frantic tone of voice): "Larry, is that you?"

Shemp is now feeling the 'Person' that is behind him and has a really frantic look of panic on his face as he saying in panic, 'Feeeb, feeeb, feeeb, feeeb, feeeb, feeeb, feeeb, feeeb'.

The 'Headless Monster' has now walked past Shemp. Shemp has now dropped the telephone receiver out of fear as he is now running in the other direction in a horrifed state of fear as he has a really panicking tone of voice as he is shouting, loudly, 'Yooouh'.

Shemp is now running for cover into the first room her finds, which happens to be den quarters. Larry is also in there as he is now hiding underneath a book table with a white lace table covering on it. As Larry has now tried standing up and has hit his head hard on the table Larry has now stuck his head through the table. We see Shemp standing at the door holding it shut with his hands as he is looking around the room in total fear for any 'Ghouls' that may be learking around.

LARRY: (As he is peeking up through the table and is saying in a low tone of voice): "PSSST, hey, Shemp!"

Shemp has now flinched in panic as he has shuffled to and fro a tad as he is saying in panic, 'freeeb, freeeb, freeeb, freeeb, freeeb, freeeb, freeeb, freeb'.

We are now on Larry where we only see just his head poking through the table as Larry ha a look of panic on his face. We now see Shemp who is standing there in a full blown state of fear and panic as he has a dreadful look of panic on his face.

SHEMP: (As he is now totally freaking out and is pointing a finger at Larry and is using a stammering and panicking voice as he is thinking Larry has now been decapitated says): "They got him and he is still talking!"

Shemp has now jumped up and down in panic as he is saying in a panicking tone of voice, 'eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, eeeb, as he is now opening the door and is making a mad dash out of there in total fear.

We are now back on Larry's head as Larry has now shaken it in madness as he now has a really hurtful and mad look on his face.

LARRY: (As Larry is saying in a low and worried tone of voice): "What's the matter with him I'm still in one piece!"

As Larry is still on his haunches with his head poked through the table we now see the evil and 'Demented Professor' entering in through a side door still toting his humongous-sized cleaver.

'DEMENTED PROFESSOR' to LARRY: (As the 'Professor' now has a really evil and wicked look on his face as Larry is now looking at him in a state of fear and panic as the 'Professor' says to Larry): "Oh, yeah!?"

LARRY to the 'DEMENTED PROFESSOR': (As Larry is now totally spasticking out): "Yeah, yunh, yeah, yunh, yeah, yunh, yeah, yunh, yeah, yunh'!"

Larry is now frantically removing his head from the table as he is crawling at a fast pace in fear for the main entrance door as the totally derange 'Professor' is now wickedly swinging his cleaver at Larry.

Larry has now crawled out from underneath the table and is now standing up as the deranger 'Professor' is now crawling underneath the table as he is after Larry with his cleaver.

As the deranged 'Professor' is now wickedly swinging his cleaver very closely at Larry, Larry is now crushing him on his neck with the table as Larry is looking at him mischievously as he is now caught in the table with the cleaver extended in mid-air.

LARRY to the 'DERANGED PROFESSOR': (As Larry now has a look of mischief on his face and is using a mischievous tone of voice says): "Don't go away, eeen, hunh!"

Larry is now running in a full blown state of panic for his life as the 'Demented Professor' has now taken one last feebile swing at Larry with his cleaver.

Larry has now run out of the study quarters in total panic as the 'Demented Professor' is still locked in the table groaning loudly in pain.

We now see Shemp as he is now in a total state of fear and panic as he is now once again entering into a clothing closet for safety. Shemp has now opened the door where we also see Moe as Shemp and Moe both yell out in horrible and petrified fear and panic, 'yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah'. Shemp has now wickedly slammed the door in Moe's face thinking that he was one of the 'Demented Ghouls' that is learking around the haunted mansion.

We are now inside of the clothing closet with Moe, as Moe has now taken one of his feet and has quickly kicked at the door now finding Shemp had locked it out of fear and panic.

MOE: (In a really low toned quiet voice is now saying as he has a mean look on his face): "How do you like that, what's the matter with that Egghead?"

We now see a very unwanted guest in the closet with Moe. The great 'Doctor Demented' with an evil look on his face as he still is toting around with him a picnic hamper and cleaver.

'DOCTOR DEMENTED' to MOE: (In a low toned wicked voice and an evil look on his face says): "Nervous, I guess!"

MOE to 'DOCTOR DEMENTED': (As Moe is using a high pitched nervous and questionable tone of voice says): "Yeah!"

'DOCTOR DEMENTED' to MOE: (As the 'Doctor' is still supporting his state of dementedness as he is now handing Moe the picnic hamper and asks Moe in a low and demented tone of voice): "I say, would you mind opening this?"

MOE to 'DOCTOR DEMENTED': (As Moe is now taking the picnic hamper from him and is saying to him in a happy tone of voice): "Why, certainly!"

As Moe is now busyly opening the picnic hamper in a happy mood 'Doctor Demented' is standing by Moe with a really evil and wicked look on his face as he now has his cleaver blade extended at Moe.

MOE to 'DOCTOR DEMENTED': (As Moe is now having slight problems opening the picnic hamper says): "This is a high hat, hee, hee, hee, hee!"

'Doctor Demented' is now in a state of wicked dementedness as he is now getting ready to decapitate Moe. Moe now has a really dreadful look of fear and panic on his face as he is saying 'heenh, hummn, heenh, hummn, heenh, huumn, as he is now pushing 'Doctor Demented's' knif away from his throat and has given him a good hard smack on his forehead.

Shemp has now exited from the study quarters into the main corridor in total fear.

SHEMP: (As he is now coming to a screeching hault and has a look of fear on his face and panic in his voice about the voice he heard): "Hey, that was Moe, 'hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee'.!"

We are now back inside of the clothing closet where we see Moe as he is yelling in frantic pain fighting with 'Doctor Demented' for his life. Moe has now pushed away 'Doctor Demented's arm in a state of survival while he was panicking out the whole time as 'Doctor Demented' was standing there really trying to get Moe's coconut.

We now see Moe running frantically and in a bona-fide state of fear from the clenches of deat as he is now running out of the clothing closet into the main corridor in and is yelling, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunhn, uunh, uunhn,' as he is running down the corridors looking for safety.

We now see Shemp as he is leaving the library quarters and is now in the clothing closet where Moe use to was.

SHEMP to MOE: (As Shemp is now frantically entering into the clothing closet as he is thinking that he is now helping Moe out is now saying in a worried tone of voice): "Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hey Moe, I didn't know it was you. "Oh, for the look of a friendly face!"

Shemp is now parting some of the clothing hanging there as he is now looking for a friendly face but instead is being greeted by the evil and 'Demented Doctor' with a really wicked look on his face. Shemp is yelling in a horrified state of panic, 'yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, yooah, as he is now boogeying it out of the closet in a horrified state of panic as Shemp is now slamming the door in Moe's face as Moe is walking down the main corridor. Moe in a state of panic has now slammed the clothing closet door shut right in Shemp's face and has locked the door. As Moe has now thought it was one of the 'Demented Duo's'.

We are now back inside of the locked clothing closet with the poor trembling and panicking Shemp and the evil 'Doctor Demented'.

As Moe has now locked the clothing closet door we now see Louise and Larry running up to Moe in a frantic state.

LARRY to MOE: (As Larry is now running down the corridor in fear as he is yelling in a frantic state): "Hey, Moe!"

LOUISE to MOE: (As she has a look of fear on her face and is using a frantic tone of voice as she is bending over slightly as she in now saying to Moe): "Hurry, hurry, we just found a secret passage!"

MOE to LOUISE and LARRY: (As Moe is now running like a 'bat outta hell' to the safety passage as he now has a look of determination on his face and a serious tone of voice says): "I'm right with ya!"

LARRY to MOE: (As we now see Larry tapping Moe in a state of panic as Louise is looking at both of them in fear as Larry is now saying to Moe in panic): "Wait a minute, where's Shemp?"

MOE to LARRY and LOUISE: (As Moe is saying to them in a voice of bewilderment and a serious tone of voice as Moe is now swallowing the key to the clothing closet): "He got away, I got the 'Professor' locked in the closet, see?"

Moe, Louise, and Larry are now running for the secret passage and safety as the are thinking that Shemp is going to be all right, not knowing that the petrified Shemp is locked in the closet with the 'Doctor Demented'!

We are now back inside of the clothing closet where we now see Shemp quaking in horrified fear and panic as 'Doctor Demented' is now apporaching Shemp in the most evilist state of dementedness possible.

'DOCTOR DEMENTED' to SHEMP: (As Shemp is now shaking in fear and panic as the evil one is now glairing at Shemp dementedly and is using a really wicked tone of voice says): "Try and get out of this one!"

Shemp in a full blown state of panic is now yelling frantically, 'yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, yoouh, as he is now breaking down the door of the clothing closet and is running wildly down the corridor in total fear.

SHEMP: (As he is now yelling in fear as he has a look of thorough scaredness on his face as he is yelling): "Wait for me, Moe!"

Moe, Larry, and Louise have now made it to safety through the passage way as they are now outside in the dark, dreary, still night as the terrible thunderstorm has now subsided. They are standing on the side of an Interchange as we see Moe, Larry, and Louise riding their thumbs for a ride.

MOE to LOUISE and LARRY: (As Moe is using a gleeful tone of voice): "Hey, here comes a car!"

LOUISE to the PASSING AUTOMOBILE: (As the automobile is now whizzing past them and she is yelling at it at the top of her lungs): "Hey, wait, stop!"

LARRY to LOUISE and MOE: (As Larry has a look of wonderment on his face and a worried tone of voice says): "Hey!"

MOE to LOUISE and LARRY: (As all three of them now have looks of happiness on their faces as the automobile has now come to a screeching hault as Moe is now yelling happily): "He stopped, come on!"

We now see Moe, Larry, and Louise running to the stopped automobile in sheer happiness. Shemp is now catching up with Louise, Larry, and Moe as he now see's them in the automobile.

SHEMP to the AUTOMOBILE: (As he is now yelling at the top of his lungs to get it's attention as he now has a worried look on his face): "Hey, wait for me!"

Louise, Larry, and Moe are now getting into the back seat area of the automobile all in really happy states.

MOE to the AUTOMOBILE DRIVER: (As Moe is thinking that he is thanking a nice lady driver for picking them up and not knowing what is in store for them says): "Thanks, Missy, you saved our lives!"

LARRY to LOUISE and MOE: (As they are now boarding the automobile and Larry is saying in a gleeful voice): "Let's go!"

Shemp has now caught up as he is boarding the front of the automobile.

We now see Louise, Larry, and Moe in the back seating area of the automobile as Louise is now smiling joyfully and Moe and Larry are looking out of the windows and are enjoying the passing scenery.

LOUISE to LARRY and MOE: (In a full blown state of glee says): "Safe at last, hee, hee, hee, hee!"

Louise is now finding out that they ain't safe at last as she is now discovering that the automobile is not being driven by a nice young lady, but instead by the 'Headless Mechanical Moster' as she is now yelling frantically, 'haa, aaah, haa, aaah, haa, aaah, haa, aaah, haa, aaah, haa, aaah, haa, aaah, haa, aaah!"

LOUISE to MOE and LARRY: (As Moe and Larry are now looking at Louise in worry at what she was screaming about): "Aaah, aaah, aaah, aaah, look!"

Moe and Larry are now once again having petrified panic attacks as they are yelling in fear as they too have noticed the driver of the automobile is the 'Headless Mechanical Monster', 'Yenh, oooh, yenh, oooh, yenh, oooh, yenh, oooh, yenh, oooh, yenh, ooon'. Shemp has now noticed the driver of the automobile as he is now taking a flying leap into the back seating quarters for a tad bit more safety.

As Louise, Moe, and Larry are now spasticking out beyond no end we now see them helping Shemp get into the back seating quarters.

MOE to SHEMP: (As Moe along with Louise and Larry are struggling and helping Shemp as Moe is saying to him in a carrying but yet panicking tone of voice): "Easy!"


SHORTS FADES OUT:

It is a dark and dreary night, no moon or stars to light the night sky, just slight remains of grey and eerie Cumulous Mamalis clouds passing slowly and eeriely from the passing thunderstorm. The 'Headless Mechanical Monster' is now speeding down the Interchange at a high rate of speed, as he is weaving all over the road, from lane to lane. He is barely missing the sides of mountains that trim the sides of the Interchange. Larry, Louise, Moe, and Shemp are yelling, 'eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh, eeeeh,' in fear at the top of their lungs. The 'Demented Headless Mechanical Monster' is speeding down the Interchange swaying all over the road, vearing off occassionally into the world of the unknown. (Final destination, who knows, I'll leave that up to your imagination).


Videography   (3)

Fan Reviews   (10)
Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2010-05-15 22:57:17 by Shemp_Diesel
Edited 2014-02-09 20:25:23 by Shemp_Diesel

The Shemp era stooges find themselves in another "Detective" style comedy & excel at it. That closeup of Larry's supposedly disembodied head is alone worth the price of admission (they got em and he's still talking).

8 out of 10 pokes


Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2008-11-08 14:49:21 by vomit

"Your brain for science?" What a one-liner. And when Moe reaches into the hole to grab his head (that wasn't cut off) is priceless. Another classic my kids love.

Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2002-02-25 18:48:00 by [Deleted Member]
Edited 2003-06-27 04:09:00 by [Deleted Member]
There's a little touch in "Dopey Dicks" that I really like"" notice that whenever the mechanical man appears in the quieter scenes, you can hear a whirring-ticking sound like a wind-up clock! It's really faint on the soundtrack, but it's in there. This would've been a great effect to use with the Tin Man in "The Wizard Of Oz," but they never thought of it. The Stooges did (or maybe it was the idea of Ed Bernds, the ex-sound engineer).

This short also has one of my favorite Stooges [b]sick[/b] props: the head-chopper table with the hole in the middle (Moe, looking into the hole: "What've I got to lose... looks like a garbage disposal!"). There were some [i]seriously twisted[/i] prop men working at Columbia Studios back then.

The whole cast was really "on" for this one... especially Moe and Shemp. And Larry's gag with the light bulb pre-dates Uncle Fester of "The Addams Family" by ten years or more. For those of you who've never seen that show, Uncle Fester (Jackie Coogan) used to stick a light bulb in his mouth and it would light up; but Larry is so "charged" here that all he has to do is hold it in his hand.

Only three and a half pokes? No, I say four!

Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2001-05-26 01:40:00 by Stooge
Edited 2003-06-26 19:08:00 by Stooge
Another great detective short by Edward Bernds. The whole "head-hunting" deal seemed reused from A BIRD IN THE HEAD), but it's still good here and this short is a lot better than BIRD. Overall, a great short and a lot of hilarious parts.

Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2002-09-21 20:20:00 by Uncle Buzz
I've been a big fan of this one since childhood. The photography at times has a noir like quality and Van Zandt is at his sinister best. Moe has some great bits with him. Larry's lightbulb gag is a classic as is the finale. I've got a mint 16mm print of this one and always screen it at Halloween parties. My vote for their best "scare" comedy.

Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2002-05-24 22:43:00 by jaronson
I just watched this for the first time yesterday, and I love it. The chase scenes and the beheaded scene were great, but probably my favorite part was at the end when the headless man was driving the car.Grade: A+

Reviewer's Rating: (10)
Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2002-02-25 17:45:00 by BeatleMoe
I got this film on DVD yesterday (2/24), and the others I got were on the ALL THE WORLD'S A STOOGE and MERRY MAVERICKS DVDs. They are completely restored, and look and sound much better. This film is one of my favorite Shemp films, relying more on story than slapstick, and the way each Stooge is on there own in this is even funnier.Memorable Scene: Shemp's run in with the headless man.Rating: 3 1/2 starsBeatleMoe
Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2001-10-29 16:24:00 by metaldams
A classic, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Moe, Larry, Shemp and literally every supporting player put on top notch performances. Funny from the beginning to end.
Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2001-08-12 00:14:00 by [Deleted Member]
Even though I haven't seen this short in ages, I remember it almost as if I saw it yesterday. Great short! They must've liked Phil VanZandt's Mad scientist performance because they had him do it again for "Spooks" (1953). I like the scene where Larry pokes his head through a hole in a table with a sheet on it. Shemp comes in and thinks they cut Larry's head off! Shemp fearfully utters, "They got him and he's still talkin'!" I enjoyed all the "scary" Stooge films, but Christine McIntyre's in this one! Rrruff! Rruff! Eeeb-eeb-eeb-eeb!ISLIPP- but I don't lose my head over it! ®2001
Re: DOPEY DICKS
Posted 2001-05-28 20:27:00 by B. Bopper
I thought this was one of the best Stooge shorts ever. The whole "head hunting" was hilarious (and so was the whole short). I love the scene where Shemp thinks Larry's head was chopped off and is talking to him.My favorite Edward Bernds Stooge short.A+ B. Bopper - President of The Amalgamed Association of Morons, local 6 & 7/8

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