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"Somebody left some hypo in there." - Shemp (WHO DONE IT?, 1949)

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Average Rating:     [6.54/10]   23 votes


The Stooges learn in a letter that their father's life depends on an operation, but he doesn't have the money for it. He writes that his property has a uranium mine, and they're sure to strike it rich. So Moe, Larry & Joe head out to their father's cabin, while dealing with Joe's uncanny luck in wishes coming true. Finding no uranium, the Stooges still manage to create plenty of explosive mayhem. Deciding to call it quits, Joe's wishing ability comes through by turning up an oil strike on Papa's country homestead.

A reworking of OILY TO BED, OILY TO RISE (1939), with some stock footage. Often referred to as a "remake," it is not. A new storyline hosts many new scenes and gags, particularly the bunkbed and prospecting scenes. The 1939 film's influence (and stock footage) is relegated to the closing sequence.

IMDb Rating


Moe, Larry and Joe
Release Date
December 04, 1958
Production Type
Short Subject
16.2 min.
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Production Notes   (2)
Prod. No.:   1911
Shooting Days:   2 days   From: 1957-08-26   To: 1957-08-27

Stooge Mayhem   (Avg. 5.25)
Face Slaps: 18 Eye Pokes: 3 Head Bonks: 0 Pastry Thrown: 0

Stooge Quotes   (5)
  • "Oooh... I hate him!"

  • "Hey, how'd ya get in my pants?!" "It's a mystery to me."
    (Moe and Joe)

  • "It would take a derrick to lift a ton of blubber like you!" "Aaww, you're just sayin' that."
    (Moe & Joe)

  • "Hey, there's a cow out there. What comes from cows?" "Steak?!"
    (Moe & Larry)

  • "How's he gonna get a cow to sit on a little thing like that?" "How do you think?" "Oh, same way they get 'em to sit on their little cans."
    (Larry & Moe)

Stooge Goofs   (6)
  • Dubbed-In Line
    When Moe says â€Å"Why, you imbecile, you wrecked my pajamas!”, his mouth doesn't move.

  • Moe and Larry's Hair
    At the beginning, Moe and Larry both have their usual Stooge haircuts. Then about halfway through the cabin scene, Moe and Larry suddenly have their combed-back, gentlemen-esque haircuts that they sport in several other Besser shorts. Then they're back to having their Stooge haircuts after the cabin scene ends.

    There's also a cabin scene in HORSING AROUND using the exact same cabin set as the one in this short and with the Stooges wearing the exact same outfits, and Moe and Larry also have their gentlemen haircuts during that entire short, so it's possible that the second half of the cabin scene in OIL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL was an outtake from HORSING AROUND.

  • Moe to the Rescue
    When Joe is supposed to say â€Å"He steals from anybody”, he forgets his line and just stutters, pauses, and looks around helplessly before Moe finally says the line for him.

  • Redubbed Line
    When Joe says â€Å"That was better than the first thought!”, he's really saying something else. Also, that redubbed line cuts off Larry's previous line - Larry says â€Å"On second thought, we'd better take the upper, J--”, then Joe's dubbed line abruptly comes in.

  • Still Shaking Hands
    After Joe stops the oil from flowing, Moe says â€Å"Shake hands with a pauper” to Larry and they shake hands, then they stop shaking hands and look off-camera at Joe in shock. Then in the next shot, which is reused footage from OILY TO BED, OILY TO RISE, Moe and Larry are still shaking hands, then they stop to look at Joe again (originally Curly).

  • Unintentional Hit
    When Moe throws the rope up to Joe, it accidentally hits Larry's ear.

Stooge Routines   (3)

Stooge Trivia   (1)
  • The only Stooges short that does not contain any supporting actors.
    Source: OIL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL (1958)
    Added by MR77100 on 2009-05-09 07:20:03
    Status: Confirmed
    Team Stooge Comments: Although the Stooges are billed as playing all roles in SELF-MADE MAIDS (1950), there is a brief cameo by an extra in the hotel lobby scene.

Audio Files   (0)

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Transcript   (Y)

Transcription by Moron4392:  



(The short starts with a camera close-up of Moe, Larry and Joe walking in their house with mad looks on their faces. Moe and Larry throws their suit jackets on chairs).

LARRY: (Waving his arms in general conversation to Joe and Moe): "We lost our jobs again."

JOE: (To Moe who is sitting on an end table with a worried look on his face says): "I'm worried about poor pa-pa,---- Gee I wish we had a letter today."

JOE: (With a concerned look on his face points to Larry and says): "Hey, Larry you go check the mail box."

LARRY: (Waving his arms and a quizzical look on his face says to Joe): "Oh, I forgot."

(Larry then turns around and runs out the door and goes to the mail box).

MOE: (Still sitting on the end table, says to Joe who is leaning on dining room table chair): "Poor pa, all alone in a hospital, way over in Coalfax."

JOE: (With a concerned look on his face says to Moe as he leans towards Moe says): "That's pretty far."

MOE: (To Joe): "You said it."

(Larry comes running into the house with a bounce in his step, happy look on his face and glee in his voice says): "Hey, a package for you (as he hands Joe a box). Then he says, "and a letter from pa."

MOE: (Jumps up from off of the end table and runs over happily and Joe has a happy look on his face).

JOE: (Dancing happily saying in general conversation to Larry and Moe): "A letter, a letter, I got my wish."

LARRY: (To Joe with a look of madness on his face says to Joe): "Ah, you, it's just a coincidence."

MOE: (Taking the letter from Joe's hand and starts to read it with both Larry and Joe looking over his left shoulder). "My dear sons, my doctor informs me that my life depends on an operation, since I am broke, I have no idea how I can manage this, there is one hope, that mining property that I have up in "Red Dog Canyon", follow the enclosed map and I am sure that you will strike Uranium. Which will not only pay for my operation, but make us all rich." Signed: Your, loving father."

(When Moe was reading the letter with a super happy look on his face and glee in his voice, both Larry and Joe were dancing happily with happy looks on their faces).

MOE: (Waving his fist in happiness and glee in his voice says to bot Larry and Joe): "We gotta find that Uranium."

JOE: (In response to Moe happily says): "Yeh.!!!!!!"

LARRY: (To Joe and Moe, looking at Joe says): "Wait a minute, we need money. We need tools, dynamite, a grub stake, we need at least a hundred dollars."

(As Larry is mentioning what they needed, Moe keeps hanging his head in sadness).

JOE: (With a furious look on his face and shaking his fists furiously while Larry and Moe are starring at the living room floor with looks of discontent on their faces as Joe says): "Boy, I wish I had a hundred dollars."


LARRY: (With a look of madness on his face reaches over and tweeks Joe's nose and says): "Oh, you and your wishin."

(Moe is on the sidelines with a sad look on his face, still looking at the letter).

JOE: (To Larry): "Oh, you."

(Joe then takes his stomach and hits Larry in his stomach sending Larry falling backwards, loosing his balance and he falls into a living room chair, hard, has a hurt look on his face. He then knocks over an end table that has a hundred dollar bill taped on it underneath."


JOE: (With a quizzical look on his face when he notices the hundred dollars on the bottom of the table, runs over to the table and takes the money says): "Hey look, a hundred dollars, I got my wish."

MOE: (To Joe with a perplexed look on his face says to Joe): "Boy, you're uncanny."

LARRY: (With a look of dumbfoundedness on his face waves his hand and says to both Joe and Moe): "Oh, that's just an accident, pa probably forgot he left the money there."

JOE: (To Larry with a mad look on his face says to Larry): "You'r just jealous of my wihin' ability."

LARRY: (To Joe): "Yeh, well make another wish."

JOE: (To Larry): "I wish I had a big cigar."

(Joe has a happy look on his face when he opens his package he got in the mail and finds a cigar in it).

JOE: (With a happy look on his face and tone of happiness in his voice says): "What do you know, he takes the cigar from the box with a note that says): "From you pal Felix."

JOE: (Then turns and looks at Larry shaking a finger and says): "Well, wise guy, I got my wish again."

LARRY: (Taking the cigar from Joe as he starts to smoke it says): "Yeh."

JOE: (To Larry): "Hey you, come on, (then looks at Moe as Larry is lighting the cigar says): "That belongs to me."

MOE: (To Joe in a low mad voice says): "He steals from everybody."

JOE: (As he is pointing his finger at Larry says to Moe): "Yeah, he steals, he's a, he's a.........."

LARRY: (With the lit cigar blows smoke in Joe's face as Joe backs away says to Joe): "Dry up, make another wish."

(Then Larry turning around with the cigar in his mouth looking at a living room wall then turns around with a questionable look on his face).

JOE: (To Larry): "You meanie."

JOE: (To Moe): "I wish that cigar would blow up right in his face."

(Just after Joe says that to Moe, who is standing by Joe with a determined look on his face. The cigar does explode in Larry's face. Joe and Moe, both with looks of worry on their faces, and Larry standing there with the exploded cigar in his mouth, and a quizzical and mad look on his face. Joe says with a really happy look on his face): "I got my wish again."

JOE: (Thinking about all that has happened has a worried look on his face and says to Moe): "I'm scared."

(Moe backing away from Joe with a perplexed look on his face and a worried sounding voice says): "So am I."


MOE: (Off camera to Joe and Larry): "Well, here we are, pa-pa's cabin."

LARRY: (Who is carrying a suitcase to Moe and Joe who are carrying supplies, food, and dynamite as the three of them are walking into the cabin says): "Come on, the door is open."

LARRY: (Setting down the suitcase as Moe and Joe are setting down the supplies): "Good old pa-pa's cabin."

MOE: (Looking at the stove says): "That old stove reminds me that I am hungry."

MOE: (To Joe and Larry who both have happy looks on their faces says): "I think I will cook us some nice oatmeal."

JOE: (To Moe rubbing his hands in happiness and with a happy look on his face says): "ummy, ummy oatmeal."

(Joe then sits down at the table waiting in happiness).

LARRY: (With his hand on his chin and a worried and determined look on his face says to Moe and Joe): "Oh, oh, I forgot to buy the milk."

(Moe with his hands on his waist is looking at Larry mad, and Joe gets up from the table and runs over to Larry and hits Larry on the arm and Joe says): "Oh, you crazy you."

(Larry has a hurt look on his face as Joe hits him).

JOE: (To Larry): "You know I can't eat oatmeal without milk." (Moe is also giving Larry a look of madness).

(Then all three of them in surprise and have surprised looks on their faces when they all of a sudden hear a cow mooing outside their door).

MOE: (In general conversation and a happy look on his face says): "Hey, there's a cow out there, what comes from cows?"

LARRY: (To Moe giving him a wise crack answer): "Steak!!!!!! (Moe tweeks Larry on the nose).

(Larry is now holding his hurt nose as Moe says): "Come on, milk."

JOE: (With an excited look on his face and a sound of excitement in his voice says to Larry and Moe): "I got my wish again."

MOE and LARRY: (Looking at Joe with worried looks on their faces as Moe says): "You know, I'm beginning to think that you are haunted."

JOE: (To Moe): "You do?"

LARRY: (To Moe and Joe): "Wait a minute, what good is a cow?, you know milk comes in bottles."

JOE: (To Larry whispering): "It does?"

LARRY: (Whispering back to Joe): "Sure, all sizes."

(Moe walking over to a shelf is taking down a bottle says to Joe): "There's the bottle, go get the cow." (Pointing his finger to the door).

JOE: (Says to Moe): "Okay."


(Joe as he is approaching the door notices a rope and is bending over says): "A rope."

JOE: (Picking up the rope says): "Gee, I always wanted to be a cowboy."


(Joe gives a good swift tug on the rope and sends Larry flying to the ground and Moe is bending over to help him up).

(As Moe is helping Larry off of the floor says): "Ah, you."

(Then Moe in reference to both Larry and Joe): "You guys are more trouble than you are worth."

(Joe is now outside getting the cow).


LARRY: (To Moe): "Wait a minute, what good is that milk bottle gonna do him, how is he gonna get the cow to sit on a little thing like that?"

(Larry has a determined look on his faces, while Moe is standing next to him with a look on his face as if to say to Larry, you numbskull, then Moe puts his hands on his waist and says to Larry)" How do you think?"

LARRY: (In reply to Moe): "The same way that they get them to sit on those little cans."

MOE: (To Larry with a mischievous sounding voice says to Larry): "Let me see that hat."

LARRY: (To Moe): "That's a good one."

(Larry then hands Moe his hat as Moe hits Larry on the head with it and says): "Yes sir, that's a good one."

(Moe then hits Larry over the head with the hat).

(Larry yells out in pain and is rubbing his soar head).

LARRY: (To Moe after he got hit over the head says to Moe): "I'll gouge your eyes out."

(Larry walks over to Moe who has his hand up to his face as Larry goes to poke him in the eyes but only gets Moe's hand).

MOE: (To Larry): "You don't know how to do that."

LARRY: (With a quizzical look on his face as he points a finger at Moe quietly says): "I don't?"

(Moe to Larry who is putting his hand up to his face and Moe takes both of his index fingers and pokes Larry in both eyes).

(Larry then stumbles a bit backwards and yells out in pain and with a hurt look on his face and rubbing his eyes).

MOE: (To Larry): "Come on, let's get squared away, toss me those groceries."


(Moe is walking up to a storage shelf and Larry is by the box of groceries. Larry has a can in his hand with a mean, and mad look on his face wanting to hit Moe with it).

(Larry is getting ready to throw the can meanly at Moe just as Moe turns around, and then Larry quickly turns that throw into a playful one).

(Now Larry and Moe are putting up the groceries, Larry tosses Moe another can which hits Moe square in the kisser. Moe catches the can, and yelps in pain and rubs his face).


(Joe is now bringing the cow into to cabin).

JOE: (To Larry with the milk bottle in his hand) "Here's the cow, how are we gonna get the milk in the bottle?"

LARRY: (To Joe as he grabs th bottle from his hand): "I'll show you how to get the milk in the bottle."

(Larry then takes the milk bottle and sets it under the cow and as he points to a wall and Joe is bent over looking at the cow as Larry says to the cow): "Give."

JOE: (To Larry): "What do you mean, give?"

LARRY: (To Joe with a look of determination on his face says): "All she has to do is turn on the faucet." JOE: "Oh."


LARRY: (To Joe with a sheepish look on his face): "Oh, I am stupid, I know what to do I think, (as Larry approaches the cows tail), you have to pump it, just like you pump water with a handle."

(Larry is "pumping" the cows tail):


(The cow has a look on her face as if saying to Larry, if you keep that up, I will kick you square in the kisser).

LARRY: (Shouting frantically at the cow and shaking her tail up and down says): "Give, cow give."

(The cow is now at her wits end from Larry pulling on her tail does kick him square in the kisser, sending Larry backwards and hits a wall which causes a canister of flour to come falling down from a shelf and hitting Larry on the head and covering him with the flour).


(Moe is shaking his head as if to say to both Joe and Larry that you are a pair of idiots).


JOE: (To the cow): "How now brown cow."

MOE: (Walks over to the cow and makes fun of Joe says): "How now brown cow,? you bubble brain?

(Moe then gives Joe an eye poke and Joe hits Moe back).

MOE: (To Joe): "I'll show you how to get the milk."

MOE: (Kneeling down by the cow and says to Joe): "All's you do is grab the faucet like that, and squeeze, see?"

(Joe is standing up and bending over as Moe is giving him a lesson on cow milking).

(Joe is now kneeling by the cow with a happy look on his face as he is learning how to milk a cow).

MOE: (To Joe after he gives the cows faucet a couple of squeezes say): "Hey, something is wrong, it's stopped up."

(And he asks Joe as he looks at the faucet): "Do you see anything in there?"

JOE: (To Moe): "No, nothing, try again."

(Moe then tries the cows faucet once again and squirts Joe square in the puss with the milk).

JOE: (With a wimpish look on his face as he licks the milk off of his face says to Moe): "Hey, try another faucet, maybe it gives chocolate flavor?"

(Moe says ok upon Joe's request, takes the other faucet and once again squirts Joe square in the puss).

JOE: (To Moe after he gets squirted with the milk from the other faucet says): "It tastes the same."


(Moe, Larry, and Joe are walking through Red Dog Canyon carrying their miner gear).

JOE: (To Moe and Larry): "We're getting pretty close to the spot fellas."

LARRY: (To Joe): "You're right, how about it Moe?"


(Larry is carrying a shovel and Moe has the map and is looking at a rock wall).

MOE: (To both Larry and Joe): "Hey, wait a minute fellas."

(Larry is holding his shovel, and Joe is behind Moe dropping his gear as Moe says): "According to Pa-pa's map the Uranium should be there. (Moe points to a wall inside a cave).

LARRY: (To Moe): "Poor pa-pa, let's get busy, and find that pay dirt."

JOE: "Yeh."

MOE: "All right, get goin'"

LARRY: (To Moe who is looking at Larry with a happy look on his face and a sound of glee in his voice says while Joe is putting down his gear): "Right, general."

(As Larry turns to leave, for the first time Moe is able to duck from being hit with shovel).

MOE: (Then shouts to Larry): "Hey, you."

LARRY: (Turns around to see what Moe wants and hits Moe with the shovel, all the while Joe is in the background setting up the mining gear).

LARRY: (Looking for Moe): "Where did he go?"

MOE: (To Larry as he is standing behind him says): "Right here."

MOE: (Then kicks Larry in the backside and then grabs Larry by the hair and drags him to a wall just outside the cave with a mad look on his face says): "Come on, get goin.'"

(Larry and Moe are starring at the wall, Moe hands Larry a Geiger counter and says, check it. Larry then checks th wall).


JOE: (Is kneeling and opening a box of TNT sticks, he notices that one is broken and says as he throws it and it explodes): "This one is broken, that's no good."

(Joe jumps from the impact of the exploding TNT stick and then he gets covered with dirt).


MOE: (With a mad look on his face and is putting the map back in his pocket shouts to Joe as he hears the TNT explode): "Watch, yourself."

MOE: (Turning to Larry who is still checking the wall with Geiger counter asks Larry what does the Geiger counter say)?

LARRY: (To Moe about the Geiger counter): "Click, click, click, click."

MOE: (Mad at Larry as he takes the Geiger counter from his hand says): "Come on, give me that."

(Moe then starts to check the wall himself for the Uranium).

MOE: (After he hits what he thinks is the correct place says): "Eureka!!!!!!!!"

LARRY: (To Moe): "Hey. We're looking for Uranium, not Eureka."

(Moe still holding the Geiger counter slaps Larry on the face and says): "Get outta here."

MOE: (With a happy voice says to Larry): "It's full of Uranium, you get a sample." (Larry gets a sample).

MOE: (Shouting over to Joe and pointing a finger of warning at him says): "Joe, fix-up the dynamite, we're gonna blast, and be careful."

(Larry chopping for the Uranium sample swings back his hammer and hits Moe right in the head).

LARRY: (With an apologetic sounding voice says to Moe who has a look on his face TO KILL says): "I'm sorry Moe, I'm sorry."

MOE: (To Larry laughs a mischievous laugh and says to Larry): "That's all right kid, it was only the head."

(Moe then picks up a couple of rocks and smashed them on Larry's head. Larry is bending over and yelling and rubbing his head in pain).


LARRY: (To Moe): "Oh, look."

(Moe bends over to see what came out of the rocks and Larry hits Moe on the head with the hammer again and says): "How do you like that?"

(Moe then takes a hold of Larry and he backs him up to the wall and hits his head once again against the wall).


(Joe is taking out four pieces of TNT from the box and pulls the plunger on the detonator and shouts as he gets ready to toss the four pieces of TNT say): "Dynamite is ready, catch."

(Larry turns around to ask Joe what he said as he catches the flying dynamite).

(Larry and Moe are now scared out of their wits end as they are catching the live dynamite).

MOE: (Shouting to Joe in a very disgusted voice): "You imbecile, if this ever hit the rocks we'd all been blown to pieces."


(Joe is now still standing by the detonator and the dynamite).

JOE: (With a questionable sounding voice says to Moe): "Huh?"

(Joe is now approaching Larry and Moe).

JOE: (To Moe waving his hands asks Moe): "What did you say, I didn't year ya?"

MOE: (To Joe): "I said you are a nitwit----imbecile."

JOE: (To Moe with a look on his face says): "Flattery, will get you no place."

MOE: (Super mad a Joe says): "Why, you."

(Moe forgetting that he has the dynamite in his hands starts to hit Joe with it, but Larry intervenes, grabbing Moe's hand that is holding the dynamite, pointing to Joe's head and says): "Hey, hey not on the rocks."

(Moe, mad at Joe with all his stupid stunts with the dynamite, turns Joe around and shoves him and says): "Go on over there, and sit down, get outta here."

JOE: (To Moe): "Oooooooh."

(Then Joe turns away from Moe and gives him a gentle hit on his arm and leaves, then stops right in front of the camera with a look of madness on his face and "MOUTHS" to the camera): "I HATE HIM."

JOE: (Who is once again back by the dynamite and the detonator says to Moe): "You are always pickin' on me, big man, big man. go sit down, go sit, down, all right I will."

(Joe as he was starting to sit down on the plunger on the detonator stands up and started to say to Moe): "Hey, Moe, I was just thinking."

MOE: (Then cuts Joe off and says to him): "Every time you think, you weaken the nation."

MOE: ( To Joe and Larry behind Moe with a hammer and chisel in his hand, Moe shouts to Joe): "Now, shut-up and sit down like I told you."


JOE: (To Moe waving his hand and speaking in mad voice says): "All right, just like you told me, just like you told me, all right I will."

(Joe goes to sit down a second time, almost, on the plunger of the detonator, but gets up and walks over to Moe and Larry who are putting TNT in a hole in the wall says): "Hey, Moe, if you would do it this way."

MOE: (Still bent over and helping Larry put the TNT in the hole says to Joe): "Oh, be quiet."

JOE: (To Moe): "But, Moe."

(Moe then turns around and cuts Joe off with a disgusted look on his face and shouts to Joe): "I don't want to hear from you and furthermore........"

JOE: (To Moe waving his hands and shouting in a determined voice): "But Moe, I wanna tell you something."

MOE: (To Joe in a really perturbed sounding voice and a look on his face that says you better leave me alone or else): "I'm busy, scram."

JOE: (To Moe, waving his fingers in circles says): "Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh."

(Moe who is thoroughly mad at Joe goes to give him an eye poke, but Joe blocks the eye poke with his hand and then turns around to leave and as he is leaving, is laughing at Moe and Moe is laughing at him).

(Moe to Joe as he is leaving goes to give his head a good, swift poke, hurts his fingers, is shaking them and yelling in pain).

JOE: (In an excited and worried sounding voice and Larry standing there with a look of hurt on his face as Joe says): "Oh, he broke his hand, he broke his fingers, he broke his fingers."

(Moe to show Joe that his fingers aren't broken, gives Joe a good, swift eye poke).

(Joe then hits Moe and turns to leave saying): "Ooooh, ooooh."

MOE: (Turns back to Larry and says): "Come on get busy, that guy gets in my hair, and my eyes."

(Larry and Moe are once again bent over and sticking the dynamite in the hole).

JOE: (To Larry and Moe says): "Okay, if you wanna do all the work, you go ahead and do all the work."

JOE: (To Larry and Moe): "You wanna do all the work, you do all the work. I'll just sit here and stall).

(As the saying goes "THIRD TIME IS THE CHARMER", this time Joe actually sits down on the plunger and sets off the detonator blowing up the wall and sending it crashing down on Moe and Larry and covering them entirely with rocks).

(Larry and Moe are now getting up from underneath the rocks, hurt, dazed, shaking themselves, and brushing dust off of themselves).

JOE: (Running over to Moe and Larry with a worried look on his face and worried sounding voice says): "Oh, fellas, gee fellas, I'm sorry, I wish the rocks woulda hit me instead."

(Moe and Larry are standing there still dazed, limp and weak with hurt looks on their faces).

JOE: (Getting hit in the head with two rocks, while Moe and Larry are still standing there completely dazed out Joe says): "Ooooh, I got my wish."

(Then Joe falls over from the impact as Moe and Larry catch him).


(Moe, Larry, and Joe are in their night wear and slippers and are going to bed totally wiped out from the days events, and feeling the mattresses on the bunks).

MOE: (In general conversation to Larry and Joe): "Wow, what a day, let's get some shut-eye, all right fellas let's hit the sack."

JOE: (To Larry and Moe with a happy sounding voice): "Tomorrow, we'll try for the Uranium again."

MOE: (Raises a finger in agreement to Joe and says): "Right!!!!!!!."

LARRY: (Pointing his finger to Joe and Moe and says in a very determined voice): "I'm sleeping in the lower."

(Moe then pulls Larry by the hair to get him from taking the lower bunk and gives him several quick slaps on the face).

MOE: (Shouting to Larry): "Who is sleeping in the lower?"

LARRY: (Then says to Moe in an agreeable voice): "You are."

(Joe then gives Moe several hits on the back of the neck, Moe then turns around to look at Joe and Joe then gives him several smacks on the kisser and says): "Who is sleeping in the lower?"

(Moe to Joe who is, Joe to Moe pointing a finger at Moe and saying): "You are!!!!!!!"

(Moe then gives Joe on last hit on his forehead and says to Joe): "Go away."

LARRY: (To Joe): "On second thought, we better take the upper, Joe.

JOE: (To Larry in agreement): "That's better than the first thought."

(Joe starts to climb up on the second bunk, while Larry is removing his slippers, and Moe is tucking in the lower bunk).

(Joe struggling real hard to get up on the second bunk, steps on Moe's face, looses his balamce and pulls down a board from off of the top bunk and throws it madly and says): "Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh."

(Moe gets out of bed and approaces Joe while Larry also is approaching Joe and Moe says to Joe): "You clumsy ox."

JOE: (To Moe): "Don't you call me clumsy."

MOE: (To Joe): "Oh, go on up there."

JOE: (To Moe waving his hands and saying): "I can't, I need help." (Joe does a dance).

MOE: (To Joe says reluctantly): "All right, I'll help ya."

(Moe starts to lift Joe's foot to help him up when Larry shouts with determination in his voice to both Joe and Moe): "Wait a minute, boost me up first, then I'll lift him up."

JOE: (Gently hitting Larry): "That's very good."

MOE and JOE: (Both hoist Larry up, and Larry says): "Here we go."

LARRY: (Now up in the second bunk says): "All right Joe, give me your hand."

(Larry is pulling Joe up by the hands while Moe is trying to help by boosting him up by his foot).

JOE: (To Moe): "Higher Moe, push."

LARRY: (To Joe as Joe is yelling in pain and has a painful look on his face): "Get up."

(Joe unsuccessfully gets up on the bunk, as he falls to the floor pulling Larry down with him).


(Moe, Larry, and Joe are on the floor in a pile on top of one another).

MOE: (Is twitching around and shouting furiously at Joe says): "You imbecile, what are you doing, trying to bother me, are you trying to kill me!!!!!!!"

(Then Moe, Joe, and Larry get up off of the floor and Moe is in a total state of madness and slaps both Joe and Larry across their faces).

JOE: (To Moe): "Cut that out you crazy, you."

MOE: (To Joe with his hands on his waist and furiously mad at Joe says): "Oh, shut-up."

MOE: (To Larry as he cups his hands says to Larry): "Larry, put your foot in here, and I'll get you up whee you belong."

MOE: (Shouting in a furious voice and at the top of his lungs to Joe): "Get over there where you belong."

JOE: (Waves his hands at Joe and then Joe goes from standing by Larry's right side to his left as both he and Moe get ready to hoist Larry up).

(Moe and Joe instead of getting Larry into the bunk they throw him onto the floor across the room).

(With Moe and Joe looking in the top bunk for Larry, and Larry in lying on the floor in pain after he has hit his head on the floor).

MOE: (To Joe): "Hey. where did he go?"

JOE: (Turning around and noticing Larry on the floor says to Moe): "Hey, look."

(Larry is getting up off of the floor while Moe and Joe are running over to help him).

JOE: (To Larry): "Come on, you double crosser."

LARRY: (To both Joe and Moe as he scratches his back says): "What is the big idea?"

JOE: (To Larry as he points his finger towards the upper bunk and says to Larry): "Come on, get up there."

MOE: (To both Larry and Joe as he pushes Larry back says to Joe): "Wait a minute, I'll get you up first, Joe."

JOE: (To Moe in a quiet and questionable voice): "Me?"

MOE: (To both Larry and Joe says to the two of them): "Go on and get over there, give me a hand, referring to Larry, to help him up."

MOE: (To Joe as Moe cups his hands together says to him): "Get your foot in here."

(Moe with Larry to help as he is helping Joe who is struggling to get into bed, does not succeed, falls down, putting his leg into the leg of Moe's pajamas).

MOE: (To Joe who has his leg in Moe's pajama leg says): "What's the matter, can't you do anything?"

JOE: (To Moe): "I tried."

MOE: (To Joe): "Hey, how did you get inside my pants?"

JOE: (To Moe with a look of surprise on his face): "That's a surprise to me."

MOE: (To Joe who still has his leg inside of Moe's pajama leg with a mad look on his face shoves Joe and says): "Get on, get--"

JOE: (To Moe turns around and says with a look of wonder on his face and a surprise in his voice says): "You're following me."

MOE: (To Joe who is mad and grabs Joe by the shirt collary says): "I'll follow you."

LARRY: (To both Joe and Moe as he pats Moe on the back and says in a perplexed voice): "Wait a minute, wait a minute, you gotta get his leg out, here I'll help you, what's the matter with you guys?"

(Larry then goes over to Joe and helps Joe lift his leg from Moe's pajama leg and says to Joe): "Tug, tug, a little bit." JOE: "I'm tugging."

LARRY: (To Joe as he is lifting Joe's leg to get it from Moe's pajama leg says). "Go ahead." JOE: "I'm tugging."

(As Larry is trying to get Joe's leg out, Joe accidentally kicks Larry in the chin with his knee).

JOE: (Says to Larry): "See, I tugged to hard."

(Moe starts to say to Joe and Larry): "I think yous......."

LARRY: (With excitement in his voice to Moe and Joe says): "Hey, fellas, don't go away."

JOE: (As he gently hits Moe says): "Don't go aways he says."

MOE: (As he shoves Joe says): "Don't go away he says."

JOE: (To Moe as Joe slaps Moe on the face says): "Stop pushing."

(Larry comes running over to both Moe and Joe with a happy sound in his voice and a pair of shears in his hand as he cuts Moe's pajama leg says): "Hey, hey, hey, just thought of it, just thought of it, here you are."

MOE: (To Larry as he hits Larry on the forehead): "You imbecile, you just wrecked my pajamas."

(Larry backed up rubbing his forehead in pain and Joe reached over and hits Moe on the shoulder).

(Moe now thoroughly disgusted with both Larry and Joe says): "Now, you both go on up there."

(Moe picks up Larry and throws him on the top bunk as Larry says): "Wait, wait, ooooh,ooooh."


(Larry as he is getting thrown up on the top bunk hits his head on the wall and with a dazed look on his face and "birds" circling around his head and starts to fall down on his back in the bunk says): "Goodnight mother, wind up the cat and put out the clock."

MOE: (To Joe): "All right, you're next boy."

(Moe is furiously trying to pick Joe up and put him up there but is unable to).

JOE: (To Moe doing a little dance and waving his arms turns around and says to Moe): "Wait a minute, I'll tell you what, you bend down, I'll stand on your back, when you raise up, you'll have me right up in the bunk, how's that?"

MOE: (To Joe with a happy look on his face and a happy sounding voice says): "You're really using your brain, okay, baby."

(Moe laughing happily, is now kneeling on the floor as Joe goes to stand on his back, Moe is flat on his face and moaning in pain and shouts to Joe): "Yen mit, yen mit, get off of me."

(Joe then gets off of Moe and helps Moe off of the floor).

MOE: (In pain and has a painful look on his face shouts to Joe): "What are you trying to do, kill me?"

JOE: (To Moe in a perplexed sounding voice and waving his arms says): "Moe you're such a weakling, you can't lift little me."

MOE: (Still thoroughly mad at Joe says): "It would take a derrick to lift a ton of blubber like you."

JOE: (To Moe): "Oh, you're just saying that."

MOE: (To Joe): "You sleep down here, I'll get up there, give me a hand."


JOE: (To Moe as he lifts Moe up to the second bunk says): "Ok, ok, ok, ok."

(Joe then hoists Moe up on the bunk where Moe also hits his head on the wall and has a spaced out look on his face, shakes his head and legs and then falls on his back and goes to sleep):


(They are outside of the cabin going over to a hand water pump to get a pail of water).

MOE: (In general conversation to Larry and Joe as he is filling the pail says): "What a night, after we finish the breakfast dishes we'll go into town and call pa."

JOE: (In general conversation to Larry and Moe): "Yeah, I don't know how he ever stood this place."

LARRY: (To Joe and Moe): "Yeah, you can't even get a decent drink, even the water tastes like keorsene."

(Moe with his foot on the water well casing is pumping the handle of the well trying to get some water, with Larry and Joe watching him says): "What's the matter with this thing now, (Referring to the pump and waving his arms in wonderment).

JOE: (To Moe in reference to the pump): "Sounds like it has asthma."

LARRY: (To Moe): "Try it again, Moe."

(As Moe goes to try the pump once again, not knowing that he has hit Larry in the chin with his elbow, Larry backs up in pain, Moe gives the pump three more tries and says): "Now, it's stopped we're gonna have to take the pump off and clean it out."


(Joe and Moe are taking the pump off to clean it. After they got it loose, Moe lifts it out and looks down the well).

MOE: (To Larry who has a pipe in his hand says): "Give me that pipe, Larry."

(Larry hands the pipe to Moe and tries to clean out the pump, drops the pipe down there, and the pipe starts shaking and then a rumbling sound starts and with a look of wonder on his face, Joe says): "It sounds like a bear."

MOE: (To Joe grabs his hand and says in a mad voice): "How can a bear be down there?"

JOE: (To Moe with a happy look on his face and raises a finger at Moe says): "It's bearly possible."

MOE: (To Joe gently pushes his arm and says to Joe): "You, egghead."

JOE: (Then hits Moe back).

(Moe gives Joe a surprised look. Then both Moe and Joe are starring at the rumbling well).

MOE: (Turns to Larry and says): "Can't see a thing down there, it's so dark, give me a match."

(Larry lights a match off of the back of his head and hands it to Moe).

(Moe drops the match down the well with a dazed look on his face and says to Joe and Larry): "Not a thing."

(Then a few seconds later, a loud explosion comes up from the well with fire and The Stooges all jump back scared out of their wits and Moe with his arms raised says): "unh, unh, unh."

(The rumbling sound and the fire stops temporarily and Moe says): "Well, guess it's all cleaned out boys." (Moe rubs his hands).

(Moe is bending over to pick-up the pump while Larry and Joe are helping him put it on Moe says): "Yopeeeeeeee."


(Moe and Joe are putting the well on, after they get it on Moe says to Joe): "All right, pump it."

JOE: (To Moe with a look on his face as he goes to pump it says): "I gotta do all the work."

(Joe is now pumping the well, with Larry and Moe watching him, Joe says to Moe with a mad look on his face): "I wish I was rich."

(Moe waves his hands a t Joe and says): "Yeh."

LARRY: (To Joe): "Quit wishing for the impossible, and pump it."

(Joe gives the pump four more pumps and then Moe gets down on his knees with a standard screwdriver in his hand and pokes it up the spout of the pump with a determined look on his face, and when that didn't work, Moe then blows up the spout. When Moe goes to see it was clear, gets hit in the face with a gush of oil, comes up and goes to wipe the oil off of his face with a hand that is also coated in oil says): "My, goodness."

(Then Moe goes and gets his handkerchief to wipe the oil off of his face and then stands up with Larry and Joe helping him).

(After Moe gets his face cleaned off, the well casing starts to rumble, jump, and shake madly while Moe, Larry, and Joe run away from it towards the cabin to protect themselves from getting hurt).

(A few seconds later, the top of the well casing comes blowing off and an oil gusher comes flying out).

LARRY: (To Moe with a sound of wonder in his voice as he points to the oil says): "An ink well."

MOE: (To Larry with a happy sounding voice and claps his hands says): "It's E-A-R-L."

LARRY: (To Moe with a questionable sounding voice): "E-A-R-L?"

MOE: (To Larry dancing excitedly and a sound of excitement in his voice says): "Yeah, coal earl."

LARRY: (To Moe as he puts his hand on Moe's arm all excited says): "You mean oil?"

(Larry shouts with total glee to Joe): "It's oil."

JOE: (Shouting and dancing in true happiness says): "Oil, it's a geezer, and oil geezer, we're rich."

MOE: (Sounding excited and worried says to both Joe and Larry): "Hey, it's outta control, we gotta cork it."

JOE: (To Moe sounding perplexed says): "We haven't got any corks."

MOE: (In general conversation and sounding a tad mad says): "Well, we're loosing money, you sit on it." (Looking at Joe).

JOE: (To Moe and Larry, Moe and Joe are running over to the well): "Okay, okay, okay."

(Joe then climbs up on the well casing and goes to sit on the oil geezer).

MOE and LARRY: (Runs over to Joe who is really happy says): "Nice work, kid."

JOE: (To Moe and Larry with a happy look on his face and a feeling of accomplishment says): "I'm a successful cork."

(Moe turns to shake Larry's hand and they say in happy unison): "S-U-C-C-E-S-S."


(The impact of the oil comes gushing out with Joe riding on top of it, and now Joe who is suspended fairly high in the air by the oil is shouting in worry to Larry and Moe): "Ooooh, ooooh, ooooh, help, help, I'm an unsuccessful cork."

(As Joe is on the oil well bouncing up and down from the impact is shouting in a scared voice): 'OH, OH, OH, OH, OH."


(They are wondering as they are looking at Joe scared how to help him).

LARRY: (To Moe when he notices a piece of rope says to Moe): "Moe, give me that rope."

LARRY: (To Joe as he puts his hands up to stop Joe says): "Don't go away."


JOE: (To Larry with a look on his face as if to say): "I won't."

(Moe with the rope in his hand ties it like a lasso throws it up to the yelling, scared Joe and says): "Well, I'll have you down, Joe."

(Moe then tosses the rope up to the well scared and oiled Joe who grabs it and puts it around his waist, then Larry and Moe gives the rope a good, swift tug and sends Joe crashing to the ground).

(After Joe is on the ground, flat on his back, Larry and Moe running over to help him. Moe as he is picking up Joe says): "Get up, man."

MOE: (To the very well oiled and mad Joe says in a happy sounding voice): "We're rich, we're rich."

JOE: (To Moe and Larry is mad a worried says): "Yeh, we're loosing money, I wish it would stop the rain."

(With Larry, Moe and Joe looking at the oil well, it temporarily stops).

JOE: (To Moe who is sounding happy). "See!!!!!!!"

MOE: (Who thinks the oil well has quit permanently is shouting madly at Joe says): "Yeh, I see, you wished us out of an oil well."

JOE: (To Moe and Larry realizing what he had done says in a voice of feeling stupid): "Oh gee, oh gee, oh gosh, oh doggone it."

(Joe then goes over and sits on the well pipe).

LARRY: (To Moe with a look of sadness on his face and sadness in his voice says): "Well, we're broke again."


MOE: (To Larry extends him his hand to give Larry a firm hand shake says): "Shake hands with a pauper."

(Joe who is sitting on the well pipe where the oil is says): "Wish that oil hadn't stopped."

(With Joe sitting on the well pipe the oil starts to erupt once again, sending Joe up with it).


(Joe is riding the oil well, shouting in total glee and happiness saying): "Oh, yippee, hooray, yippee, hooray, oh boy, oh boy, "Well, 'OIL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL."

Videography   (1)

Fan Reviews   (12)
Posted 2010-05-17 19:46:42 by Shemp_Diesel
Edited 2014-12-25 10:19:55 by Shemp_Diesel

Larry really shines in this one--whether he's getting taught the correct way to administer an eyepoke or the uranium scenes, old Porcupine is really on top of his game. A pleasant suprise for the year 1958 and I would say the only genuinely "good" Besser short.

7 pokes

Reviewer's Rating: (7)
Posted 2013-08-12 12:54:55 by Jim Tingle

Best Besser short, he finally gets hit. I like the bunk bed scene.

Reviewer's Rating: (8)
Posted 2007-07-21 20:21:49 by FourthThird
Edited 2007-07-21 20:22:08 by FourthThird

Above-average Besser-era short. Unusual, I guess, in that there are no other characters in it but the Stooges. (That says something about the budget, huh?) The bedtime scene is definitely the best part.

The original OILY TO BED, OILY TO RISE was definitely a better-written short, of course. I saw this one first, however, and I have to say this (though it may make Besser-haters mad): After I heard Curly's delivery of "I'm a successful / unsuccessful cork", I thought Joe's was funnier! (BTW, I don't agree with the contention that Joe's slow delivery of old Curly lines ruined them; it just made them funny in a different way.)

-- Desmond of the Outer Sanctorum (aka Thomas Hedison)

Posted 2001-03-11 17:35:00 by shemps#1
Edited 2006-03-23 21:33:04 by shemps#1
Wow, I come to post a comment on this Besser short, and I see it already has about 50! I have an idea as to why a Besser is the most commented on, hate is an easier emotion to express than love. Also, I think a lot of us Besser bashers wait like snipers in the bushes for an actual Besser fan to shoot down because they are so rare. As for Oils Well, I don't think it's Joe B.'s best short, I would probably have to go with Quiz Whizz. I think Larry is one who carries this short, he is the one who made me laugh a couple of times. I find myself comparing remakes to their originals, and this one doesn't even come close. Come to think of it, I don't think Oily To Bed... is a classic either; good but not a classic. As for Mr. Field, I hate the whining baby act of Joe B., but as the great John Lennon once sang: "Whatever gets you through the night, it's alright, it's alright."

Reviewer's Rating: (0)
Posted 2001-03-03 22:23:00 by [Deleted Member]
Edited 2006-03-23 21:31:30 by shemps#1
Actually, I didn't like this Besser short as much as most people seem to. I thought the absence of the melodramatic subplot in the original made it much weaker and all I could really think of was how much better Curly was in this role

As for Besser himself, I'll say that I do think he was the weakest of the stooges. While it's true that his style of comedy didn't seem to fit in, I think the main problem was his refusal to be hit. A stooge not getting hit is as ridiculous as the 80's Popeye cartoons where Bluto couldn't be punched. If Besser would have only gone along with the typical stooge format, I believe his brand of comedy could have possibly been assimilated into better quality films. Besser just ruined it with that silly rule he had. At least that's my opinion. In any case, I find it very strange that the subject of Joe Besser brings out such passionate rage. Hey, folks, we're not talking about abortion, capital punishment, or Florida's election here. We're discussing a difference of opinion about Joe Besser in a VERY small number of stooge shorts. I happen to agree that Besser's performance was inferior, but rest assured, the fact that some people like Besser has not made me lose any sleep in the past nor will it do so in the future. Let's keep it in perspective, eh? LOL
Posted 2002-02-04 21:05:00 by BeatleMoe
This is my second favorite Besser short out of three. I feel that it is a full original instead of a remake, and Joe takes a great deal of abuse as much as Larry. Definitely a funny Stooges flick.Memorable Scene: The Stooges are getting ready for bed.Rating: 4 starsBeatleMoe
Posted 2001-12-19 04:51:00 by [Deleted Member]
The ending scene is good for one thing- when Moe is pumping, his elbow hits Larry in the face! That always cracks me up! Larry gets hit in the face a lot in this short, intentionally and unintentionally. It's just one of the things that make this short one of the best in the Besser era. I actually think Larry steals the show here. Just think- if his presence in this short was as weak as it was in some of Curly's shorts, this short would STINK!ISLIPP, therefore I am. ©2001

Reviewer's Rating: (6)
Posted 2001-12-17 20:08:00 by BJR
No need to re-hash what I've already said. This is an EXCELLENT short, despite Joe's presense, and a spectacular exception to the rule that Joe shorts are no good. A classic in many ways, although Joe still fails to perform as well as Shemp or Curly. But Moe and Larry more than make up for the difference, producing a short that is better than the average Curly or Shemp short.It may not be one of the very best, but it's an above average short, and for Joe, that's pretty darn good.Favorite moments:1. Joe's only real punishment in the AMC shorts! Joe's whimpy character is normally annoying, but he makes for the perfect target of abuse, although he rarely gets it. But in the cabin, Joe says something stupid like, "How now, brown cow?" when he needs milk, and Moe walks over and mimicks him and proceeds to eyepoke him hard! This is one of my favorite eyepokes of all because of Joe's look of shock when it happens!2. "It would take a derek to lift a ton of blubber like you!"3. Everything that happened in the bed scene. This entire scene was excellently done, especially by Moe. Moe and Joe tossing Larry backwards by accident had me on the floor laughing.4. Uranium scene. Nothing compared to the bed, but one of Joe's best. Moe re-uses a great line from HALF-SHOT SHOOTERS: "Shut up; every time you think you weaken the nation!" Also, Larry telling Moe that the Geiger Counter said "tick tick tick" and Moe's response was pretty good.I'm still convinced this is the most underrated short of all. I don't understand how WOMAN HATERS has a significantly higher rating than this...Rating: 8/10Edited by - BJR on 1/17/2002 3:51:19 PM

Reviewer's Rating: (9)
Posted 2001-03-02 03:52:00 by sickdrjoe
Although I'm contributing to the problem by submitting this comment, thisfifth-rate Xerox of a 3 Stooges short is now the single most-commented-on short on this site!! Something's wrong when a nondescript Joe Besser timewastergets more fan reaction than HOI POLLOI or DUTIFUL BUT DUMB or HOT SCOTS. Although I can't explain John Field's dogged loyalty to Diaper Man any better than the rest of you, I've read a few of his non-Besser comments and he seems like an otherwise-reasonable Stooge fan.I choose to remember Besser as Stinky(he was actually very funny on that show!) and try as hard as I can to pretend these last 16 shorts never actually happened.
Posted 2001-02-25 20:15:00 by NicktoBarada
Hey, Cathy, as one female to another, I agree with you wholeheartetly. When I saw this film, I was actually looking forward to it at first, because people had said it was the funniest Besser short. Afterwards, I was left with a feeling of great disgust. Yuck! This film is weak! Even the "I hate him" line failed to cheer me up. I got more chuckles out of "Muscle Up a Little Closer" or "Hoofs and Goofs!" (And with Joe, that's saying something.) I don't know, maybe I was just in a bad mood when I saw it, but that's how I felt. I'm not saying Joe wasn't a funny guy-- he just wasn't a stooge! They should have called it quits after Shemp died. I miss that loveable grease-mop fella every time I watch a Joe short...
Posted 2001-02-04 14:01:00 by Uncle Mortimer
This may be one of Besser's least GRATING shorts, but why watch it when you can see "OILY TO BED, OILY TO RISE?" To Lena, at the bottom: you're alone baby.. you're alone. Well, maybe not totally alone. I remember a guy named DEREK (from another Besser review) who said he thinks Besser is funny. I picture Lena and Derek ALONE in a room together, laughing at Besser stuff; while the rest of us wonder..why?
Posted 2001-01-27 01:29:00 by Mike Holme
Pretty good for a Besser. Moe actually punishes Joe a little bit in this one. But the punishments are just eyepokes and little slaps for Joe while Larry gets punished with rocks and hard hits from Moe.

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