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CHEERS - What's Up, Doc?

Air Date/Released Thursday, March 30, 1989
Station/Studio NBC / Paramount

Cheers, the Boston bar where everybody knows your name. Ex-Red Sox relief pitcher, and recovering alcoholic Sam Malone owns the watering hole, and his eccentric employees and regulars help supply the laughs.

The Cranes' psychiatrist colleague arouses Sam's desire, and when he sets out for the conquest she quickly shoots him down. Not deterred, he arrives in her office feigning impotence, seeking her help. She sees thru his scheme but agrees to a date, and criticizes him as an aging lothario with sex and women as his only interests in life. Rebecca to the rescue...
Sam: What do I have in my life that isn’t about women or sex?
Rebecca: Well Sam, you’re a passionate guy. I’m sure there’re a lot of things you care deeply about.
Sam: Yeah, like what?
Rebecca: Your job.
Sam: It’s a great way to meet babes.
Rebecca: You love your car.
Sam: Babes love it.
Rebecca: Sailing.
Sam: Babes on waves. The doctor is right. Everything I do is to impress women or revolves around sex. I guess I’m nothing more than a hot, manly machine of love.
Rebecca: Uh, wait! Sam! What about the Stooges?!
Sam: They’re all right, they’re over at Cliff’s.
Rebecca: No, no Sam! What about The Three Stooges?
Sam: Yeah, great. I like The Three Stooges. That helps a lot.
Rebecca: Wait a minute Sam, think about this. Do women like The Three Stooges?
Sam: No, they hate them.
Rebecca: All right. Are women impressed that you like The Three Stooges?
Sam: No, some of them even think they’re stupid.
Rebecca: When you’re watching The Three Stooges, do you think they’re sexy?
Sam: No! When you watch The Three Stooges, nobody has time to think about sex or women. [long pause]... Hey wait a minute! That means I do have another interest in my life. I like the Stooges for themselves. N’yuk, n’yuk, n’yuk, [finger snaps], hmmmmmmmm!
Rebecca: That’s fine Sam.
Sam: C’mere porcupine! [nose tweek-slap]
Rebecca: Owwww!
Sam: C’mon, try it, you’ll like it.
Rebecca: All right, c’mere porcupine!
[Fade to black] [“whap!”]
Sam: Oooh... hey, the Stooges don’t bleed.


CHEERS background actor Al Rosen worked with The Three Stooges in UNCIVIL WAR BIRDS (1946) and BEER BARREL POLECATS (1946). Uncredited, he was one of Curly's doubles for the 1940s shorts.

Cast: Ted Danson (Sam Malone), Kirstie Alley (Rebecca Howe), Rhea Perlman (Carla Tortelli), Woody Harrelson (Woody Boyd), George Wendt (Norm Peterson), John Ratzenberger (Cliff Clavin), Kelsey Grammer (Dr. Frasier Crane), Bebe Neuwirth (Dr. Lilith Crane), Madolyn Smith Osborne (Dr. Sheila Rydell), Al Rosen (Al)

Crew: James Burrows (Executive Producer, Director), Glen Charles, Les Charles (Executive Producers), Cheri Eichen, Bill Steinkeller, Tim Berry, Phoef Sutton (Producers), Brian Pollock, Mort Rich (Writers)
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