GENTS WITHOUT CENTS (1944)

Transcribed By: Moron4392
Date Added: 2008-12-07

This short starts off with Larry, Moe, and Curly in their apartment room quarters holding their script sheets as they have their backs to the camera and are getting ready to rehearse their lines.

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is giving Curly a look of wonder as we also see Larry standing there with a dazed look on his face as Moe is saying to Curly):  "We'll pick it up again from page nine!"

MOE and LARRY:  (In unison as they are turning around slowly with devilish looks on their faces as they are looking at Curly and are saying):  "Ah, ha, slowly we turn, step by step, inch by inch!"

As Moe and Larry are crouched over rehearsing their lines with looks of puzzlement on their faces as Curly is walking backwards, (his part of the script), with a look of mischievous pain on his face.

We now hear some people dancing in the apartment room quarters above them, and are loosining the plaster on Curly, Larry, and Moe's ceiling.  Curly, Larry, and Moe are now mad as they are throwing their script sheets to the floor.

MOE to CURLY and LARRY:  (In a really mad mood as Larry is standing there with a mad look on his face and is rubbing plaster powder off of his face and Curly is jumping up and down in madness as he is saying, 'Hunh, hunh, hunh, hunh, hunh, hunh,' as Curly is also rubbing plaster powder from his face as Moe is shouting madly):  "There it goes again, for the fifth time!"

LARRY to MOE and CURLY:  (As Larry is using hand gestures to support madness as he has a mad look on his face says):  "The minute we get to that inch by inch line, something always happens."

We now see Curly getting hit in the head as the hanging lamp fixture comes crashing down from the impact of the dancing.

CURLY to LARRY and MOE:  (As the fixture has now hit Curly in the head and Curly has his hands in fists and a hurt look on his face says in madness):  "That's the last straw!"

MOE to CURLY:  (As we now see Larry, Moe, and Curly standing there with looks of madness on their faces as Moe says to Curly):  "Come on, we're going upstairs and kill those guys who have been ruining our rehearsals, let's go!"

CURLY to MOE:  (In a state of madness as he has a mad look on his face says):  "You said it!"

We now see Curly picking up a baseball bat and is swinging it in madness as he has now hit Moe hard in the face and Moe is jumping back in pain.  Larry is also standing there with his hand on his face as he also has a hurt look on his face.

CURLY to MOE and LARRY:  (In a full state of madness):  "While I'll get up there and give them the...... and I'll......"

Larry is standing behind Moe with a really hurtful look on his face as Moe is now staggering and regaining his balance as Moe is now approaching Curly with a mad look on his face as Moe is taking the baseball bat from Curly.

MOE to CURLY:  (In a really mad state as Moe makes his hand into a fist and says):  "See that?"

Curly is now looking at Moe's fist as Moe hits Curly hard on the forehead with the baseball bat.

Curly is now jumping back and is rubbing his head in pain and is saying, 'Eeem, eeem, eeem, eeem, eeem, eeem'.

LARRY to MOE:  (As Larry is now in a full blown state of mischief as Larry makes his hand into a fist and says laughing):  "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, see this?"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is in a full state of madness says as he hits Larry in the face hard with the baseball bat):  "Go on!"

We now see Larry falling backwards as he is rubbing his face in pain as well with Curly who is also rubbing his face in pain.  Moe is now in a state of madness is turning Curly around as he is shoving both Larry and Curly to the door.

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is madly turning him around says):  "Come on!"

We now see Larry, Moe, and Curly exiting their apartment room quarters and are on their way to have a tit-for-tat with the 'gentlemen' upstairs.  As Curly was exiting he had hit his face on the doorway well.

CURLY to LARRY and MOE:  (As Curly is now rubbing his face once again in pain and is shouting to Larry and Moe):  "Oh, where are ya, hey wait for me."

We now see Larry, Curly, and Moe in the hallway, in front of the apartment room quarters of the 'dancers' that have been interrupting their act.

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is pointing at their door, as we hear music playing, with Larry and Curly standing behind him in states of madness as Moe says):  "This is it!"

CURLY to MOE: (As Curly is pushing up his sleeves in madness says):  "I'll show those mugs!"

LARRY to CURLY and MOE:  (As Larry is now in a full state of madness as he is stepping in front of Curly states):  "Let me at them."

MOE to CURLY and LARRY:  (As Moe is giving both of them looks of madness says):  "Quiet!  I'll handle this, I'll break their necks, I'll bash their noses in, and if there's a big, muscular guy in there you handle him!"  (Moe was looking at Curly when he said that).

CURLY to MOE:  (In response to Moe's statement):  " 'Unhn, unhn, unhn, unhn, unhn, unhn'."

We now see Moe opening their apartment room quarters door in madness as Curly and Larry are following in.

MOE to CURLY and LARRY:  (As Moe is now opening their door in madness and is walking in says):  "Come on!"

Larry, Curly, and Moe are now in the apartment room quarters of the 'dancers' as they are giving each other looks of dismay.

We now see the 'dancers' who are three very pretty young ladies instead of three burly and mean gentlemen.

We are now back on Larry, Curly, and Moe as we see them smiling in glee as they have now discovered that the 'tap dancers' are beautiful ladies.  The ladies are doing a chorse line style of a tap dance, where we see the middle lady being supported by the other two ladies as she is doing a forward cartwheel.

As the ladies are doing their dance we now see Curly, Larry, and Moe standing in the entrance way to their apartment room quarters with looks of happiness on their faces as they are swaying to and fro in the rhythm to the music and the dance steps.

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly is in a state of happiness as we see Moe and Larry standing there smiling from ear to ear enjoying the performance):  "Gee, that's a swell number, I wonder what the name of it is?"

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is really happily involved with the girls dancing as Larry is also smiling and enjoying the dancing still swaying with the rhythm of the music says to Curly quietly):  "I don't know!"

Curly is now at the phonograph record player as he is spinning his head in circles trying to read the name of the record.  Curly is now approaching Moe still spinning his head in a state of dizziness as Moe is spinning his hand in circles and then he hits Curly on the head.  Then Moe is now taking his fingers and is spinning them around in circles trying to pose them at Curly's eyes which he has as Moe is now giving Curly an eyepoke.  Moe is now grabbing Curly by the shoulders and is pinning him up against their door as Moe gives Curly's coconut one last konk before Moe exits.

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Curly is yelping in pain, 'oow, oow, oow, oow, oow, oow,' as Larry is putting his finger up to his lips and is whispering to Curly):  "S-S-S-S-S-S-H-H-H-H-H-H!"

The ladies are now completing their dancing act as they are now clapping their hands and are dancing backwards and doing in unison a forward cartwheel.  The ladies are now coming to an abrupt hault in their dancing practice as they back up a tad and say in fright.  "Hah!"

The ladies are now standing in front of Larry, Curly, and Moe with their hands on their waists and are giving them looks of madness.

MIDDLE LADY to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As she is shouting at them madly):  "Who are you, and what are you doing here?"

LARRY to the LADIES:  (As Larry has a mischievous, sheepish look on his face and is looking at the floor quickly then up to the ladies says):  "Well, we came up to break your neck!"

We now see the ladies pushing up their shirt sleeves in madness as they are getting ready to brawl with Larry, Curly, and Moe.

MAD LADIES to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (In full blown madess):  "Oh, yeah!"

CURLY to the LADIES:  (As Curly is tapping the blonde lady on her arm and says with a look of happy mischief on his face):  "Wait a minute, that's before we saw ya!"

MOE to the LADIES:  (As Moe is looking at them in a carrying state as he is politely explaining to them about their rude break in to their apartment room quarters):  "You see, we live in the room below, we were rehearsin' our act but you were dancing and......"

CURLY to the LADIES:  (As Curly is now pointing to his head):  "The chandelier hit me in the head!"

BLONDE LADY to CURLY:  (As she is looking at Curly's head and says to him in a state of apology):  "Oh, what an awful lump!"

We now see the ladies with looks of apology on their faces as Larry has given Moe a quick glance of dismay as Larry has now turned and is looking at Curly in a hurtful state.

CURLY to the BLONDE LADY:  (As Curly is now rubbing his head and has a look of mischief on his face says laughing):  "Ha, ha, that's no lump, that's my head!"

The ladies now have looks of happiness on their faces as they are smiling happily at Larry, Curly, and Moe.  Larry, Curly, and Moe are now smiling happily back at the ladies.

BLONDE LADY to CURLY:  (As she is smiling at him in a state of sorriness says in reference to all three):  "We're sorry!"

CURLY to the BLONDE LADY:  (As he has his hands in his pockets and is smiling at her sweetly says):  "I'm glad, or otherwise we wouldn't of met!"

We are now seeing the formal introduction of The Stooges to The Ladies.

MOE:  (Laughing as he is pointing to himself says):  "Ha, ha, I'm Moe."

LARRY:  (As he is also smiling in glee and is holding his hands says):  "I'm Larry."

CURLY:  (As he is standing there smiling from ear to ear as he is rubbing his head says joyfully as he is now clapping his hands and snapping his fingers on his chin):  "I'm Curly."

The ladies are now laughing and smiling with glee at Larry, Curly, and Moe.  The middle lady is now introducing them to Moe, Larry, and Curly.

MIDDLE LADY to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY:  (In a happy manner says):  "Moe, Larry, and Curly, meet Mary, (she is now pointing to the brunette lady on her right), Shirley, (she is pointing to the blonde lady on her right), and Flo which is herself.

We now see the ladies and the boys taking hold of each others hands and shaking them in friendship as they are saying to one another:  "How do you do!"

As Flo, Mary, and Shirley are shaking hands with Larry, Curly, and Moe, they are saying in cross-unison "Hello, how are you? glad to meet you!"

CURLY to SHIRLEY:  (As Curly is now saying to Shirley in a very sweet manner):  "Oh boy, someone's gonna get married, I hope!"

Curly is now holding Shirley's arm and is patting it in a loving and gentle manner as he is looking at her with loving and carrying eyes as she is now looking back at Curly with a really sweet and loving look on her face.

We now see Curly with Shirley, Larry with Flo, and Moe with Mary as they are looking at on another with 'goo-goo' eyes and sweet and carrying looks on their faces.

MOE to MARY:  (As Moe is looking at her sweetly says):  "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,"

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly standing their with their combs and are primping up themselves as the girls are now smiling sweetly at them.  Curly has now finished combing his 'hair' as he has now 'barked' at his comb and Shirley has finished straightening up Curly's tie.

MARY to MOE:  (In a serious state says):  "So, you boys are actours, what kind of an act do you do?"

CURLY to MARY:  (In a state of mischief as he is smiling says):  "Oh sorta, kinda, of our own like!"

LARRY to MARY:  (In a state of seriousness):  "It's very dramatic!"

MOE to FLO, MARY, and SHIRLEY:  (As Moe is using hand gestures to support his opening sentence):  "There's alot of talk that goes on ahead, but, there's one spot that has to be timed just right, it's the most important thing in the act, we'll show ya!"

MOE to CURLY and LARRY:  (As Moe is pointing a finger at Curly and Larry says):  "Come on, boys!"

We now see Larry, Curly, and Moe taking their script sheets from their back trousers pockets as they are now getting ready to show the ladies a portion of their act.  The ladies are now watching Moe, Curly, and Larry in happiness.

Moe, Larry, and Curly are now holding their script sheets as they are looking at them and are standing in front of the ladies bathing room quarters.

MOE to CURLY and LARRY:  (In a very serious manner says):  "Start on page nine!'

LARRY to MOE:  (In reference to Moe's statement);  "Page nine!"

MOE and LARRY:  (In unison):  "Ah, ha, slowly we turn, step by step, inch by inch!"

As Larry and Moe are doing their walking routine to go with their lines, Curly is now slowly backing up as his part, but Curly has now backed up too far and has fallen into the bathing tub full of water.

MOE to CURLY:  (As Curly is sitting in the bathing tub and Moe and Larry are looking at him madly):  "You, Numbskull!"

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry is waving his script sheet at Curly and is yelling at him madly):  "Yeah, if we ever get past that inch by inch line, maybe the set will be something!'

MOE to CURLY:  (As both Moe and Larry have now thrown their script sheets down on the floor):  "What are ya sittin' in there for?"

CURLY to MOE:  (With his hands on the sides of the bathing tub as he is looking at Moe in mischief says):  "So, it shouldn't be a total loss, I'm taking a bat!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is using hand gestures to support himself and has a mad look on his face says):  "A bat!?"

CURLY to MOE and LARRY:  (As Curly is still sitting in the bathing tub with a dumbfounded look on his face says):  "Yeah!"

MOE to CURLY:  (With a dazed look on his face says):  "Move over!"

We now see Moe and Larry joining Curly in the ladies bathing tub fully clothed as they are taking some bathing scrub brushes off the wall and are happiling singing and bathing.

LARRY to MOE:  (In a happy state):  "Yeah, we'll all take a bath."

MOE to LARRY:  (In a state of happy mischief says):  "Get on the other side."

LARRY to MOE:  (In a state of mischief and is mumbling):  "Oh, all right, all right."

MOE to CURLY:  (As we see Moe squishing Curly and Larry with a brush in his hand says to Curly):  "Give me the soap, kid!"

CURLY to MOE:  (In a happy state):  "Here you are."

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is singing gleefully and has just soaped up his brush and says to Larry):  "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, give me the other brush."

LARRY to MOE:  (Mumbling and has a dazed look on his face says):  "Here, here, here!"

LARRY to CURLY and MOE:  (As Larry is sitting there happy says as he is soaping his sleeve):  "Yeah, yeah, yeah, full sleeve."

Curly, Moe, and Larry are now in a state of full enjoyment as they are sitting in the ladies bathing tub with their scrubbing brushes and are happily bathing.

MOE to CURLY:  (As Curly is singing happily and Moe is approaching Curly and is now scrubbing Curly's head says):  "Come over here."

LARRY to MOE:  (In a serious but yet slightly mischievous manner as Larry is washing his arms says):  "Wanna scrub my back please, my whole back."

LARRY to MOE:  (In a slight state of madness):  "The back, the back, not the head, the back."

We now see Larry, Curly, and Moe sitting in the bathing tub totally happy.  Curly is singing as he is wiping down his head and face with his hands.  Larry has a bathing sponge in his hand and is happily washing his face with it and is squirting some water up the wall with it.  Moe has his bathing scrub brush and is happily scrubbing his backe and head and then he reaches over and gives Larry's back a few more good scrubbings, and then Moe reaches over and gives Curly's head a few more final scrubbings.

LARRY to CURLY and MOE:  (In a state of happiness as he is bathing);  "Yeah, yeah, gotcha, gotcha."


We now see a door that reads as follows:

MANNY WEEKS
THEATRICAL ENTERPRISES
NEW YORK     CHICAGO     LONDON

BERLIN SOON

We are now inside of Mr. Weeks office where we see Mr. Weeks sitting at his desk and Flo, Mary, and Shirley sitting on a davenport.  Curly, Moe, and Larry are standing in front of Mr. Weeks desked dressed in suits and bow ties with straw hats and are holding canes as they are singing in unison:

"HELLO SONG:"  (START):

"We didn't come to borrow any money."   (They are now patting their hands on their pockets).
"We didn't come to borrow any dough."    (The are now rubbing their fingers together).
"We didn't come to borrow any trouble."  (They now have their hands in fists).
"We just dropped in to say hello."             (CURLY:  "Oh"     MOE:  "Oh"     LARRY:  "Oh").

(We now see Curly, Larry, and Moe with their hands on each others shoulders as they are doing a shuffle style of a dance).

MOE, LARRY, and CURLY:  (Singing in unison):
 "Hello to you Mr. Manny, please don't think that we are hammy, we just dropped in from Alabamy."
 "We just dropped in to say hello!"

(We now see Larry, Curly and Moe taking off their hats and are bowing forward to Mr. Weeks).

CURLY:  (In a state of happiness):  "Oh, boy, you said it!"   (Moe and Larry are giving Curly looks of madness).

MOE, LARRY, and CURLY:  (Singing in unison):
 "We just dropped in to say hello!"

(Right here Larry, Curly, and Moe are skipping in place as they are bowing forward and extending their hats out once again).

CURLY:  (In a happy, mischievous state):  "And don't forget it!"

(Again here we see Larry and Moe giving Curly mad looks.  They are finishing off by skipping in place in front of Mr. Weeks desk as they are singing in unison):
 "We just dropped in to say hello!"

(Right here we see Moe and Larry with looks of madness on their faces as they are putting their hands on Curly's mouth to shut him up before Curly gets his line in).

LARRY and MOE:  (As they still have their hands on Curly's mouth are singing in unison):  "Hello!"

CURLY:  (After Moe and Larry have removed their hands from Curly's mouth as Curly speaks):  "Hello!"

"HELLO SONG:"  (CONCLUDED):

All the while that Curly, Larry, and Moe were doing their song and dance routine we saw Flo, Mar, and Shirley sitting on the davenport with looks of disagreement on their faces as Mr. Weeks was sitting at his desk with a look of disagreement also on his face as he was shaking his head to and fro in saying I dont like this.

MR. WEEKS to CURLY, MOE, and LARRY:  (As Mr. Weeks has a disgusted look on his face and is waving his hand at them in disagreement shouts):  "Good-bye!"

We now see Larry, Curly, and Moe approaching Mr. Manny Weeks in attempt to save their act.

MOE to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (As Moe is using hand gestures to help explain himself and is saying in a serious manner):  "Now, don't be hasty Mr. Manny Weeks, the best is yet to come!"

Moe is now cueing up the piano player to start playing.  We now see Larry, Curly, and Moe standing in front of Mr. Weeks desk once again.  Curly is looking at Mr. Weeks with a mischievous smile on his face.  Larry is looking at Moe with a look of dismay on his face.  Moe has a look of seriousness on his face as Moe is starting to sing:

"RATATOUILLE DEE-DEE SONG:"  (START):

MOE:  (Singing and using hand gestures to support himself):  "This is a sad, sad story."

LARRY and CURLY:  (In unison as the have their arms over their eyes):  "Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo!"

MOE:  (Singing and using hand gestures to support himself):  "Of a boy in all his glory!"

LARRY and CURLY:  (In unison as they have their arms over their eyes):  "Boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo, boo-hoo!"

MOE:  (Singing with a look of mischief on his face as Curly is standing there with his head cocked and Larry is looking at Moe in dumbfoundedness):  "He could......"

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (In unison as they are swaying to and fro and are waving their fingers in rhythm to the music are singing):  "Ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee!"

MOE:  (Swaying to and fro and waving his fingers in rhythm to the music):  "One, ah!"

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (In unison still swaying to and fro to the music and waving their fingers in rhythm to the music singing):  "Rum bay, rum bay, rum bay, rum bay!"

(We now see Moe hitting Curly with a mad look for Curly to do his line):  CURLY:  (Looking at Moe madly):  "Bay Rum!"

LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (In unison as they are swaying to and fro and are waving their fingers in rhythm to the music are singing):  "Ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee!"

Moe is now pointing his finger at Larry for his cue.

LARRY:  (As he is still swaying to the music is taking his fingers and slanting his eyes and is talking in an Oriental accent):  "So sorry, please bomb Tokyo, oh my!"

As Larry was saying his line Moe and Curly were swaying and waving their fingers in rhythm to the music singing): "Ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee!"

MOE and LARRY:  (In unison as they are dancing in rhythm to the music and are waving their fingers in rhytm are singing):  "Ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee!"

(Curly is now standing there with his head pointing to the ceiling with his lips puckered and his finger pointing to the ceiling as he has a serious look on his face as he is swaying in rhythm to the music like General Gehring):  "Ratatouille, pooshie-mon, Ratatouille, pooshie-mon, Ratatouille, pooshie-mon, rataouille, pooshie-mon!"

MOE and LARRY:  (In unison as they are dancing in rhythm to the music and are waving their fingers in rhytm are singing as Curly was doing his line):  "Ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee!"

CURLY, MOE and LARRY:  (In unison as they are dancing in rhythm to the music and are waving their fingers in rhytm are singing): "Ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee!"

(We now see Larry pointing his finger at Moe for Moe's cue to do his line).

MOE:  (As he has now combed his hair forward and has put half of his comb on his lip as a little mustache to look like Adolph Hitler is singing in a mad German accent):  "Ratatouille ya-foo, ratatouille ya-foo, ratatouille ya-foo, ratatouille ya-foo, yah, involved invasion!"

LARRY and CURLY:  (As Moe was doing his lines were in the background swaying to the rhythm of the music with serious looks on their faces and were singing): "Ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee!"  

(As Moe, Larry, and Curly are still singing ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee!" ouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, we see Larry slightly bent over and dancing to and fro while Curly is dancing forwards and backwards in circles waving his fingers in rhythm to the music as Moe is shuffling in the background).

(As Larry, Curly, and Moe are happily dancing and singing ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee." We now see Mr. Manny Weeks swaying to and from with the rhytmn of the music and is smiling in agreement as Flo, Shirley, and Mary are smiling at one another in agreement to The Boys routine).

(Larry, Curly, and Moe are now really into the music as they are happily dancing to and fro sideways still singing ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee, ratatouille dee-dee.  Larry and Curly are now standing in front of each other bending forward and backward while Moe is standing there shuffling sideways and backwards in a shuffle dance style all are smiling and waving their fingers to the music).

(Curly has now accidentally hit Larry in the stomach causing Larry to fall onto the davenport and yells in pain, 'oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh."

MOE to CURLY and LARRY:  (Shouting loudly and in a ferious state of madness):  "Spread out!"

MOE to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (As we see Moe, Larry, and Curly standing there with their hands in fists and have devilish looks of mischief on their faces as Moe says):  "Now, comes the climax!"

(Moe is standing there with one arm slightly bent and a look of mischievous madness on his face as Larry is standing directly behind Moe with a worried look on his face as Curly is standing several paces behind Larry and Moe with his hands raised and in fists as he has a look of hurt on his face).

MOE:  (Slightly shouting madly):  "Ah, ha!"

LARRY and MOE:  (In unison as they are slowly walking up to Curly in a state of madness):  "Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch!"

CURLY:  (In a pleading tone of voice):  "Ratatouille dee-dee!?"

"RATATOUILLE DEE-DEE SONG:"  (CONCLUDED):

We now see Curly falling over backwards on a davenport and is getting his arm caught in a metal flower pot.

CURLY to LARRY and MOE:  (As he is looking at Moe and Larry with a mischievous, sheepish look on his face and is waving a hand at them says):  "I fall down, hee-hee-hee-hee-hee."

We now see Larry and Moe running over to Curly in a state of madness as they are grabbing Curly by his suit jacket and pulling him up madly.

MOE to CURLY:  (In a state of madness as he is yelling at Curly with Larry standing there with a mad look on his face as Curly is shaking the metal flower pot on his hand):  "You idiot you, now you have to grab the act."

We now see Curly standing there fighting feriously with the metal flower pot, shaking it, putting it betwixt his legs and pulling hard at it trying to get it off.

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly is still fighting with the pot to get it off):  "I couldn't help it, I slitched."

MOE to CURLY:  (Feriously mad at Curly says with a mad look on his face):  "Umm-humm!"

MOE to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (With an apologetic look on his face says):  "Look, we're sorry Mr. Manny!"

As Moe is now apologizing to Mr. Manny Weeks we now see Curly hitting Moe hard in the face with the metal flower pot and Moe is now bending over and grabbing his face in pain.  Larry is also standing there with his hand on his mouth as he is looking at Moe in a very deep state of hurt.

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly is now dropping the pot from his hand and is looking at Moe in a worried state and is saying in a slight mischievous tone of voice):  "Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo!"

Moe who is now beyond feriously mad at Curly is now taking his fist and hitting Curly hard in the nose with it as Moe is also twisting Curly's ears.

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is now outrageously mad at Curly as Moe has now made his hand into a fist says):  "See this?, Why you, I'll strangle you."

MR. WEEKS to MOE, CURLY, and LARRY:  (As Mr. Manny Weeks is sitting at his desk in madness is shouting at them madly):  "Hey, break it up, breakit up!"

MOE to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (As Moe is now approaching Mr. Manny Weeks with a very worried and apologetic look on his face and is using an apologetic tone of voice says):  "We're sorry Mr. Weeks, you see everytime this dummy......"

We now see Mr. Weeks secretary enter in and is interrupting Moe.

SECRETARY to MR. WEEKS:  (As she has a very professional look on her face and says to him in a professional tone of voice):  "Mr. Weeks, your show goes on in half an hour at the ship yards, we'll have to hurry if we're gonna make it!"

MR. WEEKS to his SECRETARY:  (In a serious tone of voice):  "Thank-you, call for my car, I'll be right with you!"

SECRETARY to MR. WEEKS:  (As she is now exiting and responds in a professional tone of voice):  "Yes sir!"

MR. WEEKS to CURLY, MOE, and LARRY:  (As we now see Curly, Moe, and Larry standing there with looks of sadness on their faces as Flo, Mary, and Shirley are standing behind them with looks of sadness on their faces as Mr. Weeks says):  "Sorry boys, I have to hurry down to the ship yards, better see me some other time."

MOE to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (With a look of begging on his face as he is extending a hand out to Mr. Weeks and is trying one last feebile time to get into the act says):  "Say, Mr. Weeks, why can't we go into that show of yours at the ship yards?  We'll slay 'em!"

LARRY to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (With a look of mischief on his face says):  "We'll kill 'em!"

CURLY to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (With a happy look of mischief on his face as he is using hand gestures to support himself):  "We'll anilate 'em!"

MR. WEEKS to THE STOOGES and THE LADIES:  (In a stern tone of voice says):  "Okay, I'll give you a chance, but you better be good!"

We now see Larry, Moe, Curly, Shirley, Flo, and Mary all standing there giving Mr. Manny Weeks giant smiles of thank-you and saying we are good.

MOE to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (In a totally happy voice says):  "We're on our way to the ship yards, thanks!"

We now see Flo, Mary, Shirley, Curly, Moe, and Larry lining up in a line as they are shuffling out like a train and making train sounds as Curly has now said:  "Oh, boy, ship yard special all aboard!"

As The Stooges and The Ladies are marching out of Mr. Manny Weeks office like a train both Mr. Manny Weeks and the piano player are grinning from ear to ear in likeness of them being a train.  We now see Curly putting a lantern on the back of his suit jacket to represent a caboose light as they are now exiting Mr. Manny Weeks office.

CURLY to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (As Curly turns around and waves his hand at Mr. Manny Weeks happily as he is pulling his hand up and down like he is pulling the cord on a train whistle and is saying):  "Bye, woo-woo!"

MOE to CURLY:  (Shouting to Curly in a state of madness as we see Curly with his arm over his face and is diving through through Mr. Manny Weeks glass door):  "Come on!"

Curly now turns around and gives one last train whistle and pull of the cord as Curly is now being dragged by Moe.

We now see a chalk board style of a billings add that reads as follows:


 NOAZARK SHIPBUILDING CO.
  BULLETIN
 LUNCHTIME FOLLIES
 12:30 SHARP
 CASTOR AND EARLE REVUE

 ADDED ATTRACTION
 MOE, LARRY, AND CURLY
  IN
 "TWO SOULS AND A HEEL"

We are now on the stage it is a beautiful Spring day the sun is shining and we hear boat whistles in the background while we see the audience sitting around the stage.  On the stage we see a ten piece band and flags representing several different countries.

"NIAGARA FALLS SKETCH:"  (START):

We now see Curly who is dressed in a baggy black suit, long length jacket, sloppily tied bow tie and full length trousers holding a closed umbrella.  We also see Moe who is dressed in a dirty plaid suit jacket that is two sizes two large for him, plus he has on a dirty white under wear shirt, beige trousers that are dirty and a size to large for him that are tucked in knee length boots, unclean appearance and is holding an open umbrella.

Moe and Curly are now walking up to another at a rapid pace as they have now passed one another.  We see them putting their hands out to see if it is raining or not.  Moe has now closed his umbrella while Curly has now opened his umbrella.  We now see Curly looking at Moe with a happy look on his face and is waving his hand at Moe who has a very mad look on his face.

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly is smiling gleefully at Moe says in a friendly voice):  "Hiya, Pal!"

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe has now thrown his umbrella down and is walking up to Curly in total state of demented madness and is shouting loudly to Curly):  "You call me pal?  Why, I haven't heard that word for years, you know bumb, I once was a tramp like you!"

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly is now extending his hand to Moe in friendship and a smile on his face says):  "Congratulations!"

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is standing there with a demented and mean look on his face and demented madness in his voice says):  "Ah, but it wasn't always thus, I can look back to the days of yourn when I was a very happy married man.  Then one day, that rat came and destroyed forever the happiness I ever known.  I'll never forget that day, I just came home from the grave yard shift, and there was a note on a pillow."  (We now see Moe with one hand on his forehead and the other one extended forward in hurt):

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly is standing there with a look of care on his face and asks in a carrying tone of voice):  "What did it say?"

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe has a look of hurtful and slightly demented look of madness on his face and is using hand gestures and is saying in a low monotone mad voice):  "It was one of those cold blooded notes:"

"Dear Moe:"
 I am running away with Larry.  I was obsessed with the idea that I must find them.  The trail led me to Pittsburgh, I found I missed them by  three days when I got there.  And swore right there in Pittsburgh that I'd find him and have my revenge, and now on with the chase.  Miami,  Dallas, New Orleans."

(Moe is using hand gestures to support himself as he is slightly swaying to and fro with a deep look of demented madness on his face all the while that Curly was standing there with a scared, but yet tenative look on his face with his hand raised).

 "And then I came face to face with the rat that ruined my life, it was in 'NIAGARA FALLS', 'NIAGARA FALLS'."

(We now see Moe taking a few paces forward and in now turning around in a slow pace and has a mean and demented look on his face as he has his hands rolled in fists and is shouting at the top of his lungs in an evil and demented voice):

"NIAGARA FALLS, slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch, I walked up to him, I smashed him, I hit him, I bonked him, I bopped him, I  socked him and I mashed his face and I knocked him down."

(All the while that Moe is talking dementedly we see Curly taking a few paces backwards with a look of worry on his face and slightly waving his hand at Moe while Moe is now brutally smacking Curly.  Moe smacks Curly first in the cheek, then on his forehead, the Moe hits Curly hard in the stomach and then smacks Curly once again hard on his forehead and then mischievously rips Curly's shirt and the smacks Curly hard in the face and knocks Curly to the ground).

(Moe has his hand on his face in a state of really hurtful pain and misery).

(We now see Curly standing up shouting 'ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,' with his hands on his face in pain and then he grabs hold of Moe who now has a hurt and tired look on his face as he is holding onto Curly for support).

CURLY to MOE:  (In a carrying sound of voice as Curly is holding onto Moe's shoulder in support says):  "Now, take it easy bud, take it easy!"

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is holding onto Curly and has a hurt and tired look on his face and is using a more quiet and relaxed tone of voice says):  "Excuse me kid, it's that word, 'NIAGARA FALLS', everytime I hear it tears me apart!"

(We now see Moe here with a mean and demented look on his face as he is shaking his hands in evil meaness).

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly has a look of hurt on his face and a hurtful tone of voice as he is holding his suit jacket and is looking at his well torn shirt says):  "It don't do me any good either!,  Ungrateful, that's what it is."  (Curly is now brushing off his suit and is straightening it up as best as he can):  "How do you like a guy like that?  I say hello pal, sort of friendly, and just because I say 'NIAGARA FALLS'......"

MOE:  (As he is once again turning around slowly with a very mean and demented look on his face and is waving his hands and is shouting dementedly loud at the top of his lungs):  ' "NIAGARA FALLS,' slowly I turned, and step by step, inch by inch.  I smacked him, I bopped him, I hit him, I bashed him, I beat him and I knocked him down."

(Once again we see Moe dementedly and brutally attacking poor innocent Curly with an evil look on his face as Moe is smacking Curly hard on his face and then hard on his forehead, and then really hard in his stomach, and then hard on his forehead, then Moe once again rips Curly's shirt and suit another time and then meanly hits Curly in the face and knocks him hard to the ground a second time).

(All the while that Moe is now having his second fit of rage, we see Curly pleading for his life as he is now rubbing down his face and is saying, 'Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo').

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly is now jumping up and down in a state of worriness as Moe is stomping towards Curly in a state of furry):  "No, no, please no, unh, unh, unh, unh, no please, no, no, please no, no, ooh-ooh, aw-aw, ha-ha, no please, not that!"

(We now see Curly getting up once again and is rubbing his face in pain and is once again putting his hands on Moe's shoulders to calm him down).

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly is speaking to him in a calm and carrying tone of voice):  "Take it easy pal, please take it easy!"

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe still has a demented look on his face and a mad and evil tone of voice as he is has his hands in fists to support madness as Moe has now put one hand up to his neck says):  "Oh, oh, it's that woman, I'll kill her and him!"

CURLY to MOE:  (In a questionable tone of voice):  "Blood?"

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is standing there with a look of shock on his face as he is yelling loudly at the top of his lungs in a full state of panic and scaredness as Moe is looking at the ground at pools of blood as Curly is standing by his side with his trouser legs pulled up and is also standing there in a state of panic looking at the blood pools as Moe has an evil and hurtful look on his face and is shouting loud and panicking):  "Yes, rivets of blood, pools of blood, ha ha ha ha ha," (Moe is now grabbing his neck and is shouting wickedly as he is leaving saying):  "The blood, ha ha ha ha!"

(As Moe is having his wicked and demented fit of rage we see Curly standing by Moe laughing in a state of mischief and hurtful scaredness.  Curly is now brushing himself off and is straightening up what is left of his suit).

(As Curly is now standing up, he is getting hit by Larry who has now rapidly walked into him and Curly is now grabbing his face and is yelling in pain, 'ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh').

CURLY to LARRY:  (As Curly is straightening up his suit and is greeting Larry in a friendly and apologetic voice says):  "Pardon me, pal!"

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry is now approaching Curly with a look of wickedness on his face and in a demented tone of voice says):  "Did you call me pal?"

(Curly is now backing away from Larry in a thorough state of worriedness and scaredness and is saying with a really scared look on his face, 'un-hunh, un-hunh, un-hunh, ah, oooh, oooh, ah, ah').

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry has a look of hurt on his face and a hurtful tone of voice says):  "It's been a long time since I heard the word pal!"

CURLY to LARRY:  (As Curly has a look of dismay on his face and is using hand gestures and in a worried and scared tone of voice says):  "You too, haven't you got any friends either?"

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry has a wicked look on his face and a demented sounding voice is shouting to Curly):  "That's what I was comin' too, the dirty rat, he tried to take her away from me, ah, ah, but he couldn't get away with it so he trailed me,"  (We now see Larry waving his hand in the air and with a demented mad and mischievous look on his face).

CURLY to LARRY:  (As Curly has a scared yet slightly mischievous look on his face and is supporting a questionable tone of voice says):  "To Pittsboigh?"

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry now has a look of wonderment and dismay on his face and says in a low voice of wonder):  "Yes!"

CURLY to LARRY:  (As Curly has a full blown look of scaredness on his face and a scared tone of voice says):  " eeh, eeh, eeh, eeh, then you went to Miami, New Orleans, and Dallas?"

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry has his hand on Curly's shoulder and once again a very evil look on his face and is shouting wickedly):  "Yes, yes!"

CURLY to LARRY:  (As Curly has a look of horrified scaredness on his face says):  "un-hunh, un-hunh, un-hunh, un-hunh',"

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry is shouting loudly and feriously at Curly in a full state of demented madness and is spreading his hands out to his side says):  "But, how did you know?"

CURLY to LARRY:  (As Curly is pointing a finger at Larry and is answering him in a mischievous state):  "You'd be surprised, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yuk, n'yu!"

We now see Curly laying down on the stage and is patting it.

CURLY to LARRY:  (As Curly is laying on the stage with his head in his hand and says mischievously):  "Then he caught you in 'NIAGARA FALLS'."

We now see Larry slowly turning around with a demented and mean look on his face.

LARRY to CURLY:  (In a full state of wickedness is shouting loudly in a mean and wicked voice as Curly is still laying on the stage saying in full scaredness, 'woo-woo-woo-woo.):  'NIAGARA FALLS,' slowly I turned, step by step, inch by ince, I picked him up, I smacked him, I hit him, I bonked him, and then I smashed him."

CURLY to LARRY:  (As Curly is still laying on the stage pleading for his life is sayint):  "Please, not that, no, no, please not that!"

Once again, as Larry is having his fit of rage we see poor innocent Curly getting brutally attacked by Larry as he is grabbing Curly by the suit and is standing him up madly and is smacking Curly hard in the face, then on the forehead, and then in his stomach, then on his nose and once again Curly is getting his clothing ripped off of him.

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry is now rubbing his hands over his head and is looking at the stage in a horrified state of demented panic as he is raising his trousers legs and he is raising his hands in panic and is shuffling away in a state of evil panic is shouting dementedly):  "What have I done?  blood, the judge, B-L-O-O-D!"

We now see Curly looking at Larry in a horrified state of scaredness.

LARRY to MOE:  (As Moe is now entering onto the stage and Larry is now noticing Moe and is shouting in a full state of madness and dementedness as Larry is using hand gestures):  "You!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is walking up to Larry and has an evil and mean look on his face as he is talking to Larry dementedly says):  "Ah, there you are Larry, why you, why......"

We now see Larry approaching Moe in a demented state.

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is now approaching Larry and is grabbing his hand in a mad state and Larry is grabbing Moe's hand in a mad state but as they are now actually shaking hands they are saying to one another in a state of friendship and smiling at each other):  "Hi, ya pal!"

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is standing there smiling happily at Larry as Larry is standing there straightening up his jacket sleeve and is smiling bace at Moe in a happy mischievous state as Moe says):  "Ha, ha, ha, ha, I almost caught up with you in Pittsburgh!"

CURLY to MOE and LARRY:  (As the very well tattered Curly has a happy look of mischief on his face and is waving a finger at Moe and Larry says):  "Go ahead, tell him where you found him!"

We now see Larry holding onto Moe's arm in a state of forgiveness and friendshipness.

LARRY to CURLY:  (As Larry is looking at Curly with a mad look on his face and is waving his hand at Curly in a state of forget it shouts to Curly):  "Forget it, it's past history!"  (Moe is shaking his head in agreement with Larry):

CURLY to LARRY and MOE:  (As Moe and Larry are walking away now as friends and Curly is saying to them in a state of mischief):  "Why you cowards, you're afraid to say 'NIAGARA FALLS.'"

LARRY and MOE to CURLY:  (In unison as they both have looks of dementedness on their faces and demented sounding voices are shouting loudly as they are slowly stomping up to Curly):  ' "NIAGARA FALLS', slowly I turned, inch by inch, (Larry), step by step, (Moe), step by step, (Larry), inch, by inch, (Moe).

As Moe and Larry are having their fit of rage we now see Curly barking at them as Curly is now slowly walking sideways to get away from them and as Moe and Larry are now still totally furious at Curly and are getting closer to Curly we now see Curly running off the stage being chased by Moe and Larry."

"NIAGARA FALLS SKETCH:"  (CONCLUDED):

MARY to FLO and SHIRLEY:  (In a full state of glee says):  "Oh, weren't they swell!"

SHIRLEY to MARY and FLO:  (As they are still applauding loudly and in a positive state about Curly, Moe, and Larry's performance):  "They certainly were!"

MARY to SHIRLEY and FLO:  (In a total state of happy agreement says):  "Boy, they were terrific!"

We now see Mr. Manny Weeks's secretary approaching him with a letter and is handing it to him.

SECRETARY to MR. WEEKS:  (As Mr. Weeks has now put on his hat and she is saying to him in a state of worriedness):  "Mr. Weeks, this wire just arrived and it's very important!"

We now see Mr. Manny Weeks standing up and is getting ready to read his wire as his secretary and Flo, Mary, and Shirley are looking at him with carrying looks on their faces as he is reading):  "Car broke down, unable to make show today sorry.  'Castor and Earle Revue'."

We now see Larry, Curly, and Moe running up to Mr. Manny Weeks in a full state of happy accomplishment.

MOE to MR. MANNY WEEKS:  (As Moe is approaching Mr. Weeks with a look of how did we do on his face as Larry and Curly are also standing there with the same looks on their faces):  "Well, Mr. Weeks, what do you say?"

MR. WEEKS to LARRY, CURLY, and MOE:  (With a look of puzzlement on his face and in a panic tone of voice as he is showing them the wire):  "Boys, I'm in trouble, my show won't be here today, and how am I gonna get some entertainment for these people?"

MOE to MR. WEEKS:  (As Moe is looking at Mr. Weeks with a carrying look on his face as Moe, Curly, Larry, Flo, Shirley and Mary are also standing there with looks of carryingness on their faces says):  "Don't worry, we've got plenty of material, we'll all go on!"

FLO, MARY, and SHIRLEY to MR. WEEKS:  (In happy voices says):  "Yeah, we'll dance!"

CURLY to MR. WEEKS:  (WIth a look of happiness on his face and in a happy tone of voice says):  "Certainly, we'll give them a show!"

We now see Mr. Weeks standing there with a big smile on his face in agreement to Curly, Larry, Moe, Flo, Mary, and Shirley doing entertaining.

MR. WEEKS to LARRY, CURLY, MOE, and SHIRLEY, MARY, and FLO:  (As he is smiling happily and is giving Curly a pat on his back says):  "Okay, go to it!"

Moe is saying in a state of happiness, "Let's go everybody!"

We now see Flo, Mary, and Shirley running happily to the back of the stage while Curly and Moe are running happily in the right direction to the back of the stage and Larry is running in the wrong direction and is now running right into Moe which is causing Curly to back into Moe.

MOE to CURLY:  (In a state of madness as Moe is now pulling Curly by his nose and Curly is yelling, 'oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh').  "What's the matter with you?"

We now see some of the audience along with Mr. Weeks and his secretary laughing at Moe and Curly.


"ACROBATIC DANCE ROUNTINE:"  (START): 

We now see Flo, Mary, and Shirley dressed in short dresses and are wearing tap shoes as they are now entering the stage jumping rope.  They have now set down their skip ropes and are doing in unison a front hand flip.

Shirley and Flo have now completed a back hand flip as Mary has now completed another front hand cartwheel. 

We now see Shirley and Flo going to their lefts completing front hand flips while Mary is going to her right and is completing a front hand flip.

We just saw Shirley complete a solo front cartwheel while Mary and Flo have also now completed another front hand flip, Flo first and then Mary.

We now see Flo and Mary standing there watching Shirley as she is completing a series of front hand flips going around in circles, and she is completing this by doing a single forward cartwheel.

We have now see Flo complete two handless cartwheels.  Mary is now completing a cartwheel going forward and has made a quick twist and is now doing a series of cartwheels going backwards, as she is throwing in a a quick twist after each one.

We now see the audience including Mr. Manny Weeks smiling and applauding loudly in agreement.

We now see Mary launching off of Flo's hand and is completing a full back flip.  Mary has now completed a solo front hand flip then a front handless cartwheel.

We now see Mary standing there smiling as Flo and Shirley are now holding onto one another and are doing cartwheels in a fashion like a ferris wheel.  Mary has now completed a solo handless cartwheel.

We are now on the audience where we see Mr. Manny Weeks getting up and leaving while another man is taking Mr. Weeks seat to get a better view of the show.

We now see Flo and Mary twirling a two person skip rope while Shirley at first is taking several regular skips but then is completing a series of front cartwheels over the skip rope.

We now see the audience smiling and applauding happily at their performance.

Shirley and Mary are now twirling the skip rope as Flo is now doing hand flips in the fashion of a ferris wheel over the skip rope.

We are now on the audience where the male viewers are watching with true looks of glee on their faces at their performance.

Shirley and Flo are now twirling the rope as Mary is now completing a series of back hand flips and cartwheels over the skip rope.

They have now set down the skip rope where we just saw Shirley completed eight backwards cartwheels in a row.  Flo has now completed six forward double legged handless cartwheels.

We now see Flo acknowleding Mary as Mary is now completing a series of six sideways jump spins.  They are now concluding their act as they are completing in unison a series of three forward cartwheels along with three front hand flips holding onto one anothers hands.

We now are once again on the audience where they are applauding loudly in agreement with the act and the men are giving each other looks of glee about the pretty ladies.

The song "Stars and Stripes Forever" is playing in the background as we now see Flo, Mary, and Shirley dressed in short Army dresses as they are shuffling in, in a march like fashion holding guns and are doing a sideways march step as they are now lowering their guns and setting them by their sides and they are now picking them up and are firing them which is now showing the following flags that reads as follows.  As Flo, Mary, and Shirley were shooting their guns and exposing the flags the song "Taps" was playing.

We now see Flo, Mary, and Shirley shooting their guns and exposing the following flags:

  MOE, LARRY, and CURLY
  IN
 "AT THE FRONT:"

We now see Flo, Mary, and Shirley marching off the stage and the curtains are now opening on Moe, Larry, and Curly.

"ACROBATIC DANCE ROUTINE:"  (CONCLUDED):


"AT THE FRONT SKETCH:"  (START):

It starts off in an Army barricks like setting where we see Curly, Moe, and Larry fast asleep snoring loudly and Curly is saying, 'eenh-ha, eenh-ha, eenh-ha, eenh-ha, eenh-ha, eenh-ha.'  They are now turning over in their sleep as they are muttering 'Ah-yab-yab-yab, ah-yab-yab-yab, ah-yab-yab-yab, ah-yab-yab-yab.'

We now see an Army General walk in and is yelling:  "Attention!"

We now see Curly, Larry, and Moe standing there in full uniform and at full attention in front of the general.

GENERAL to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As the General is speaking to them in a serious tone of voice):  "At ease, listen men.  I need a volunteer for a dangerous mission.  This mission is extremely important, but ten to one the volunteer won't come back.  Now, if there's a man among you, that is ready to lay down his life for his country step forward."

We now see Moe and Larry stepping backwards in a cowardly fashion leaving Curly as the brave volunteer.

GENERAL to CURLY:  (As the General has now lit a cigarette and is extending his hand to Curly in a state of friendship says):  "Thank you, my boy!"

CURLY to the GENERAL:  (As Curly has a look of wonderment on his face and is shaking the General's hand says):  "Thank-you for what, sir?"

GENERAL to CURLY:  (As the General is still shaking Curly's hand and has a serious and grateful look on his face says):  "For dying for your country!"

CURLY to the GENERAL:  (With a look of pain on his face and pain in his voice says):  "Eeh-yuk, eeh-yuk, eeh-yuk, eeh-yuk."

GENERAL to CURLY:  (As Curly has a look of pain and worry on his face and the General has a very serious look on his face as he is handing Curly a slip of paper and is saying):  "Now, take this message to Majour Stommer.  You'll find him on Hill 303.  Now, you go through Skeleton Pass, over Murder Meadow, to Masacur Junction, then you follow the trail to Poison Creek, around Funeral Mountain, and head directly for Dead Man's Gulch.  Now saddle a horse and get on the way!"

All the while that the General was giving Curly his orders you could see Curly standing next to the General completing circular hand motions in explinations to the orders.

CURLY to the GENERAL:  (As Curly is now saluting the General and has a saddle in his hand and says to the General in a state of panic):  "Yes, sir!"

We now see Curly exiting to saddle up his horse.

GENERAL to MOE and LARRY:  (As the General is now saluting Moe and Larry and says to them in a serious tone of voice):  "If the Colonel would of let me, I would of gone myself!"

We now see Moe and Larry with looks of panic on their faces as we hear charging music in the background along with the sound of horses hooves clapping on the road.

MOE to LARRY:  (With a look of panic on his face and panic in his voice says):  "He's off!"

LARRY to MOE:  (As Larry is now using a pair of field glasses and has a look of panic on his face and panic in his voice says):  "There he goes, he's in enemy territory, he's crossing no mans land, look at him ride through a hail of bullets, (we now hear a bunch of guns shooting off here):  "Oh, no, he's down, they got him."  (Larry is now hiding his eyes in a state of panic and sadness).

We now see Moe grabbing the field glasses from Larry in a total state of panic as he is worried about Curly.

MOE to LARRY:  (As Moe is now looking through the field glasses and is reporting to Larry in a state of panic):  "No, his horse is getting up now.  He's up, look at him ride like the wind, he's riding, he's riding, he's riding, he's riding."

All the while that Moe was making the reports on Curly we saw Larry standing there jumping up and down in glee and with a huge smile on his face. 

All the while that Larry and Moe were thinking that Curly was riding in danger through enemy territory he was not.  We now see Curly entering into the barricks holding his saddle in his hand.

CURLY to LARRY and MOE:  (As Curly has a look of mischief on his face and mischief in his voice says):  "Hey fellas, how do you saddle a horse?"

We now see the curtains closing as the conclusion of the sketch.

"AT THE FRONT SKETCH:"  (CONCLUDED):

We now see the curtains opening up again as Moe, Larry, and Curly were talking amongst themselves.  They have now noticed the curtain is now opened and they are turning around quickly and taking their bows with looks of mischief on their faces and are saluting.  The curtain now closes for the final time.

We are now back stage where we see Flo, Mary, and Shirley still dressed in their Army dresses and holding their guns with huge grins of happiness on their faces.

We now see the very happy Moe, Curly, and Larry running up to the very happy and well pleased Mr. Manny Weeks.

MR. WEEKS to CURLY, LARRY, and MOE:  (As Mr. Manny Weeks is shaking Moe's hand and is giving all of them smiles of happiness and agreement as he says to Curly, Moe, and Larry):  "Ah boys, you were swell, swell, you're in my new Broadway show.  Meet me in my New York Office tomorrow."

We now see Moe, Curly, and Larry standing there with looks of glee on their faces and are totally astouned at the fact that they are going to be in Broadway.

MOE to CURLY and LARRY:  (In a total state of dazement as Larry and Curly are also standing there with dazed looks on their faces):  "Oh boy, Broadway, New York!"

MOE to FLO, MARY, and SHIRLEY:  (As we see Moe, Curly and Larry turning and looking at Flo, Mary, and Shirley saying):  "Well girls, it was nice knowing ya.  See ya again sometime!"

MARY, SHIRLEY, and FLO to CURLY, MOE, and LARRY:  (As Moe, Curly, and Larry are turning to leave we see Flo, Mary, and Shirley taking sticks and hitting Moe, Larry, and Curly over their heads.  We now see Mary catching Moe, Shirley catching Curly, and Flo catching Larry as they are shouting n unison):  "Oh, yeah!"

We now see Moe, Larry, and Curly's car with a bunch of tin cans dragging and a "Just Married" sign across the front of the car.

All six of them are fast asleep in the car as they are 'driving' right into a semi-truck that is blarring his horn at them to get their atttention.

We now see all of them waking up in a state of panic as Moe has now grabbed the driving wheel and has pulled them to safety just in time.  We see them wiping their faces from panic as Moe has now pulled the car to the side of the road and has parked.

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is turning around and looking at Curly with a mad look on his face and madness in his voice as he asks Curly):  "Hey, where are we?"

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly has a look of dazed madness on his face and responds back to Moe in a mad voice):  "I don't know!"

MOE to CURLY:  (As Moe is pointing a finger at Curly and is shouting at him madly says):  "Well, get out of the car and find out!"

CURLY to MOE:  (In a full state of madness as he is getting out of the car):  "unh, unh, unh, unh, unh, unh."

SHIRLEY to FLO, MARY, LARRY, and MOE:  (In a state of madness says as she is now getting out of the car and is going with Curly):  "I'll go too!"

Moe is now giving Mary a look of happiness as he is brushing off his hands.

SHIRLEY to CURLY:  (As we see Shirley approaching Curly with a questionable tone of voice as she puts a hand on Curly's shoulder and asks him):  "Where are we, dear?"

CURLY to SHIRLEY:  (As he is pointing at a road sign says in a serious tone of voice):  "Goz-low!"

SHIRLEY to CURLY:  (As she is looking at the sign that Curly is pointing at and says):  "Goz-low?,  silly, it says 'Go Slow.'"

We now see the back of the "Go Slow" sign and it reads:  "NIAGARA FALLS" 25 miles", and an arrow is pointing East."

We now see Curly and Shirley giving each other looks of endearment as she is lovingly holding onto Curly's arm as they are now apporaching back to the car.

MOE to CURLY:  (As Shirley is now getting into the car and Curly is standing by the car door):  "Hey, what did that sign say?"


CONCLUSION OF THE SHORT:

CURLY to MOE:  (As Curly has a look of mischief on his face and is now covering his mouth after he has realized what he has just said):  "Twenty-five miles to 'NIAGARA FALLS'."

LARRY and MOE to CURLY:  (As they are shouting in unison in loud and wicked sounding voices):  "NIAGARA FALLS!!!!!!!!"


SHORT FADES OUT AS FOLLOWS:

As we see Moe turning the car around slowly and is pumping on the brakes as he is slowly chasing Curly down the road and Curly is shouting in panic, 'Unh, unh, unh, unh, unh, unh, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo'.

LARRY and MOE to CURLY:  (In unison with demented sounding voices):  "Slowly we turned, step by step, inch by inch."

CURLY to LARRY and MOE:  (As Larry and Moe are in full demented states as Curly is pleading for his life Curly says):  "Not that, not that, please, don't do that, please!"

Curly is now running at full speed down the road as Moe is chasing Curly with the car and Curly is yelling out in panic, 'Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo!"


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