Lobby Cards: The Classic Comedies (The Michael Hawks Collection: Volume II)
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Transcribed By: Moron4392
Date Added: 2008-05-25
SING A SONG OF SIX PANTS:
The short begins by showing an outside shot of Shemp, Moe, and Larry's Dry Cleaning Business.
(Which reads on the right window pane): "Pip Boys --- Lary, Moe & Shemp Unaccusstomed Tailors Men's Furnishings New and 2nd Hand Clothes Cheep."
(Camera Close-Up): MOE: (opening the curtains and straightening up a suit in the left window that reads): "Cleaning, Pressing, and Altercations."
(Camera Close-Up): MOE: Jumping over the sales counter with a far shot on Larry with a tape measure around his neck and he is trying to clean a spot off of a pair of pants (that happens to be a sun spot shining through a hole in the wall).
SHEMP: Measuring a pair of pants (on a set of fake legs) to be altered.
MOE: (opening the morning mail).
(Camera Close-Up): LARRY: (moaning and rubbing frantically at the spot on the pants) trying to remove it. Larry takes a drink of his soda and says with his hands on his hips (in general conversation to Shemp and Moe with a determined look on his face). "That is the toughest spot I have ever tackled."
(Camera still on Larry): LARRY: (with a mad look on his face and mumbling in madness at the spot says): "You are not gonna beat me." He puts more dry cleaning solution on a cloth and in determination he rubs vigorously on the spot determined to remove it.
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP: (still measuring his pants to be altered).
LARRY: (shouts to Shemp): "Hey Shemp, give me a hand will ya?"
SHEMP: (in reply to Larry): "I can't now, I have to finish my pants."
MOE: (comes running into camera view and says). "Hey fellas, listen to this letter. (Moe begins to read the letter): "Gentlemen, (Shemp then throws in a remark, that ain't for us, we're not gentlemen looking Moe right in the face).
MOE: (hits Shemp in the nose and says). "Speak for yourself." (While Shemp is rubbing his nose in pain and Larry is looking over Moe's left shoulder):
MOE: (starts to read the letter again): "Gentlemen, this is to inform you that unless over due payments for tailoring equipment are made within 24 hours we will reposes set equipment --- balance now due, $321.86.
Signed: Skin and Flint Finance Corporation
I. Fleecem, President
LARRY: (with a look of dismay on his face and replies after Moe has finished reading the letter). "That will put us out of business, what will we do?"
MOE: (hands on his hips and a worried look on his face looks over at Shemp):
SHEMP: (in his reply to the reading of the letter). "You guys worry about that, I'm too young to worry and get wrinkles on my pretty little face."
SHEMP: "What we need is a little music to cheer us up."
(Moe with his hands on his hips and Larry by Moe's right side with his tape measure still around his neck both are standing there looking at Shemp with blank looks on their faces).
SHEMP: (pushes back his pants on the fake legs that he is working on), walks over and turns on the radio, Moe is standing and watching Shemp.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: "News flashes, (Moe was getting ready to bonk Shemp in the face when the Radio Announcer continues): "Police are frantically scouring the town in search of 'Terry (Slippery Fingers) Hargen.' Hargen has robbed his 18th consecutive safe in 9 days --- a large reward is offered for his capture." (Both Shemp and Moe are standing by the radio listening inventively and surprised looks on their faces).
RADIO ANNOUNCER: (gives a commercial announcement): "Does your car have indigestion? --- does it burp in the morning? ---try no Burpoline the only gasoline that contains bicarbonate of soda."
(Camera is still on a close-up of both Shemp and Moe). MOE: (standing with his hands on his hips). SHEMP: (bending over to turn off the radio).
SHEMP: (with his hand extended out says to Moe): "Hey Moe, why don't we capture Hargen and collect the reward then we can pay our bills."
MOE: (crossing his arms and talking to Shemp and says): "Oh, it is simple as all that, (then Moe does a hand gesture). Hargen is gonna walk right in here and let you capture him, you're nuts --- we're gonna be paupers, paupers."
SHEMP: (in reply to Moe). "Are you kidding? we're not even married. (Moe then bonks Shemp right in the nose and gives him an eye poke).
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP: (rubbing his sore nose while Moe says to him). "Why don't you be quiet, think..."
(Moe with one arm crossed and Shemp with his fingers on his chin are thinking).
(Camera Close-Up): LARRY: (who is frantically and very determined to remove that spot off of the pants on his alterations board). Larry rubbed the spot with deep determination to remove it that he has turned it into a hole. (Larry smiling states). "At least I got the spot out."
LARRY: (setting down the pants on his board notices the spot on another part of the pants), Larry then realizes that the spot he was fighting with was the sun shining in through a hole in the wall. Larry in reply to his discovery says. "Oh boy, am I a sap."
MOE: (in general conversation to both Shemp and Larry): "I cannot think when I
am hungry."
(Camera Close-Up): LARRY: (reaches for what he thought was his soda bottle to get a drink), accidentally grabs the bottle of dry cleaning solution and takes a big drink of it.
MOE: (walking passed Larry gets sprayed with the solution as Larry is wiping it off of his face).
MOE: (states to Larry). "Oh, a funny man --- what's the matter with you." (Moe then smacks Larry on the face).
LARRY: (in reply to Moe as Moe is walking to the ironing board). "What did I do?"
MOE: ( in general conversation to both Shemp and Larry asks). "Who wants lunch? SHEMP: (I do), LARRY: (replies make me some too).
MOE: (bends over a storage box) gets out a pitcher with pancake batter in it -then he cooks four pancakes on the ironing board.
MOE: (when the pancakes are done rubs his hands in happiness and says). "Oh, boy (with a look of delight on his face and glee in his voice)..He takes the pancakes from the ironing board with a fork and slices them onto the plates with a pair of scissors and then rubs his hands once more in happiness. Moe picks up the two plates and walks over and gives one to Larry.
SHEMP (in background camera shot then a close-up): Laughing hysterically at the comic strips.
MOE: (walks up to Shemp and grabs him by the nose and says). "What are you stalling around for, You know you have a rush order to get out." (Shemp is rubbing his nose).
MOE: (says to Shemp), "get Mr. Grant's pants and hand press them."
SHEMP: (with a determined look on his face replies to Moe). "Alright, alright, but where are they?
MOE: (replies to Shemp). "I pinned them up on the shade, what did you do with them.?
SHEMP: (in response to Moe). "I didn't touch them, (Shemp has his hands in a fist and a mad look on his face).
MOE: "oh, oh --- and goes over and pulls down the window shade and finds the pants still up there and very well rolled up.
MOE: (after taking the rolled up pants off of the window shade hands them over to Shemp). "Here, hurry up and press those, what are standing around for?"
(Camera Close-Up on a Shemp solo shot): SHEMP: (with the rolled up pants under his left arm enters the pressing room).
SHEMP: (walking over to the hand ironing board puts the pants on it that are temporally flattened out). Shemp turns to get the iron and finds the pants have rolled back up.
SHEMP: (trying to flatten out the pants again while goes back for the iron only to find they have rolled back up again).
SHEMP: (with a mad look on his face, moans and grunts and then tries to straighten them out again). Shemp spins around in a circle and laughs at the pants and sticks his tongue out at them because the pants are once again temporally flat.
SHEMP: (by the time has the iron in his hand and turns around to press them has noticed that the pants are rolled back up again.
SHEMP: (being furious at the pants) forgets he has the iron in his other hand, goes to clap his hands only to have burned his hand.
SHEMP: (now really furious with the pants quickly blows on his burnt hand and returns to try and press the pants).
SHEMP: (rolls out the pants) climbs up on the ironing board to keep them flat, (while he is on the ironing board he stops to take a look at his burnt hand and shakes it and moans in pain).
SHEMP: (still on the ironing board, picks up the iron, crawls forward to start ironing, but in the process he closes himself in the cupboard and gets slammed back out and falls on the floor yelling in pain.
SHEMP: (picks himself off of the floor and in deep pain and a hurt look on his face rubs his head with one hand and checks to see if he has a broken nose with the other hand).
SHEMP: (picks himself off of the floor with a mad and determined look on his face, throws the ironing board up in the air and states). "You double crosser." Only to have the ironing board come crashing down and hitting him on the head.
SHEMP: (letting out several hurtful moans), gingerly puts the ironing board in the cupboard, but forgets to close the door carefully, slamming it shut to keep the ironing board in place, it bounces back and hits poor Shemp square in the nose.
SHEMP: (dances in pain, shakes his fists and mumbles madly at the ironing board door). He goes and gets a broom and says to the ironing board as he raises the broom to hit the ironing board says, "Wise guy, this time I'll close ya," just as Shemp goes to hit the ironing board door to close it, Moe walks in and gets hit square in the face with the broom.
SHEMP: (walks over to Moe), puts his hand on Moe's shoulder and says, "Moe I'm sorry Moe --- and Moe replies to Shemp as he takes the broom from Shemp's hand, "Think nothing of it, (Shemp has a happy look on his face). Moe extends out his hand to shake Shemp's in friendship Shemp says, "Gee thanks," (Moe replies), "you're welcome," (Moe then hits Shemp over the head with the broom handle Shemp grabs his head and rubs it and groans in pain.
MOE: (really mad at Shemp), puts the broom handle in Shemp's mouth dragging him out of the pressing room with Shemp yelling in pain.
(Camera Close-Up): (Shemp and Larry are in the alterations room).
LARRY: (has his back to the camera). SHEMP: (facing the camera).
SHEMP: (hemming a pair of pants) pokes Larry once in the backside and once in the stomach with his needle.
LARRY to SHEMP: (yells out in pain). "What's the idea?"
SHEMP: (replies to Larry), "Sorry but you stepped into me."
(Camera is now outside of the shop). A lady is walking down the street.
(Camera far shot), on a frantic gentlemen running down the street, (which turns out to be the bank robber, Terry Hargen). Mr. Hargen makes a mad dash into the Stooges store to hide from being chased by a Police Officer, (Officer Sharp).
TERRY HARGEN: (in panic), desides to become one of the dummies so he throws his coat on the floor, exchanges hats with one of the dummies and paints a fake mustache on his face with shoe polish, and stands perfectly still as not to be recognized.
POLICE OFFICER SHARP: (frantic, running down the street looking for Terry Hargen), enters their business.
OFFICER SHARP: (gets in just a few words says), "Hey fellas, (Larry points a finger at him and shouts), pointing at the Policeman, "A customer, The Stooges run to greet him leaping over the sales counter.
POLICE OFFICER SHARP: (manages to get in a few words), "have you seen," (then he is grabbed by Shemp, Moe, and Larry).
LARRY, MOE, and SHEMP: LARRY: (talks first by saying), "yes don't' worry about it, MOE: "you've come to the right place, SHEMP: (as he pats the officer on the shoulder). "this is the place where your dollars have more sense.
MOE: (to Officer Sharp): "Say, we have the very sports coat you are looking for." (Larry and Moe rush over to one of the dummies which happens to be Mr. Hargen the bank robber, and takes off the coat and rushes back to Officer Sharp and says here try it on.
OFFICER SHARP: ( in reply to Larry and Moe): "I don't want a coat, I don't want a coat, I don't want a coat."
SHEMP: (to Officer Sharp), "but listen mister, we are gonna give you a bargain."
SHEMP: (to Officer Sharp, folding back the lapel on the suit he is wearing) asks him "Were did you get this mess?"
OFFICER SHARP: (replies to Shemp): "I bought it here." Shemp then folds back the lapel and says to him, "oh what a beautiful "messterpiece." Meanwhile, Larry and Moe have the sports coat in their hands. MOE: (speaks first), "here ain't it a beauty," then Larry says, genuine import smell the ocean."
SHEMP: "it's 200% wool."
OFFICER SHARP, 200% wool?.
SHEMP: Yes sir, these sheep led a double life." (Shemp slaps his leg and lets out several laughs), while Moe and Larry are putting the suit coat on Officer Sharp over the suit coat he is already wearing.
OFFICER SHARP: (with a grimace on his face says), "I don't want a coat, I don't want a coat, (then with a bit sharper tone of voice and his fists clenched, once again shouts), "I don't want a coat."
SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: (responding in unison): "Oh he don't wanna a coat." LARRY: (replies to Moe): "What he wants is a pair of our slick slacks."
MOE: (in reply to Larry): "Why didn't you tell me the man wanted slacks."
(Moe smacking Larry on the face and shoves him and says), "Go ahead."
OFFICER SHARP: (a bit mad says): "I don't want any slacks."
MOE: (replies to Officer Sharp): "Now look bud, in this store the customer is always right."
LARRY: (goes to one of the dummies, which happens to be Terry Hargen, the bank robber) and removes his pants. Accidentally the dummy, (Terry Hargen) helps Larry remove the pants by lifting his foot. Larry looks back in surprise.
TERRY HARGEN: (the dummy): Quickly stiffens back-up to resume his dummy position hoping not to be noticed.
LARRY: (scratching his head and a look of awe on his face walks away), extends the trousers to Office Sharp, "Here you are brother, slick slacks try them on for size." Moe also states, "Oh yes, try them right on."
MOE: (folding back the officer's lapel) notice's his badge, huffs on it and polishes it with his shirt sleeve.
SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: (in unison): "Gee, Officer..."
OFFICER SHARP: (furiously yelling at them says), "quiet, you birds realize that you just let Terry Hargen the bank robber slip right through my hands." (using hand gestures of madness).
OFFICER SHARP: (looking at Shemp and poking him with his finger says), "I oughta run you in."
SHEMP: (in reply to Officer Sharp): "Please Officer, I have six wives and two children."
MOE: (putting his hand on the officer's shoulder and gesturing to the floor says), "Honest officer, there was nobody who came in here."
OFFICER SHARP: (with madness in his voice says to The Stooges): "He's in the neighborhood keep a sharp look out for him, I'll be back."
SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: (in unison), salute Officer Sharp and say, "Right." (then they clunk heads).
MOE: (to Shemp and Larry): "I'll murder you."
(Camera enters a room with a close-up on one of the henchmen and Flossie, Terry's girlfriend).
FLOSSIE: ( says to Terry): "Howdy sugarplum, how are ya?"
TERRY HARGEN: (removing his over coat and stating the fact that he has on no pants replies). "Just dandy."
FLOSSIE: (noticing that Terry is without pants), laughing hysterically stands up to greet him.
TERRY HARGEN: (talking to Flossie). "Now listen carefully, my clothes are in the "Pip Boys Tailor Shop", around the corner. Now in the watch pocket of the trousers in a piece of paper with a combination to a safe, I want to do that job tonight and I need that paper."
FLOSSIE: (to Terry). "Okay sugar, just leave it to me." (she then gives Terry a small pinch on the cheek).
(Camera is now back at the dry cleaning store):
Moe is hanging up a suit, Shemp is hemming a pair of pants and Larry is mending a pair of pants.
MOE: (turning around) takes a pair of pants and flattens them out on the ironing board to be ironed, while Larry and Shemp are in the background altering. Moe finds the safe combination (L-R-L-R-L-R-L 1-1-2-3-2-2-1) in the pants he is about to press.
MOE: (opening the piece of paper says), "Hey fellas, (Shemp scratching his head and Larry approach him) look at what I found in the pocket of these pants."
(Camera closes in on the safe combination while Moe is reading it). L-R-L-R-L-R-L 1-1-2-3-2-2-1.
MOE: "Hey, L-1, R-1 (makes hand gestures like he is turning the combination knob on a safe) and says, Left 1, Right 1, this is a combination to a safe." (Shemp and Larry are looking over Moe's shoulder in wonder at the discovery that he has made).
MOE: (returning to the suit coat that he just pressed and hung up), turns back the lapel and discovers the initials TH.
MOE: (with a look of wonder on his face says), "TH, I wonder what that means."
SHEMP: (in reply to Moe), "Teddy Hoosevelt."
MOE: (with sort of a mean look on his faces says to Shemp). "Wrong, quiz kid."
LARRY: (with a thinking look on his faces says), TH, TH, I got it, I got it, and Shemp and Moe said what and Larry replies "Thomas Hedison."
MOE: (using hand gestures stating that he thinks Shemp and Larry are idiots says), "Why don't you dumbbells stop, (then Moe looks into the change pocket in the suit coat and discovers that the letters TH stand for the bank robber (Terry Hargen).
MOE: (with a sound of excitement in his voice says), "Terry Hargen, was here, the bank robber was here."
SHEMP: (to Moe). "You're crazy, those clothes came off of one of those dummies, (now no cracks), Moe bends over and bites Shemp on his index finger. Shemp yells out in pain and staggers a bit while Larry shoves him away.
(Camera Close-Up): MOE: (at the front desk), is widdling down a piece of tailor's chalk with a razor blade.
MOE: (after he is done with the chalk), inadvertently drops the razor blade in a hand size whisk broom.
Shemp is mending a pair of pants, Larry (with his back to the camera) is ironing a pair of pants, and Moe is working on a suit.
CUSTOMER: (walks in and says): "Hiya fella's, is my coat altered, Larry picking up the coat, replies, just finished, sleeves 31 inches right, customer right."
MOE: (to the customer), "Try it on" (and straightens it up). The customer says "looks fine."
MOE: (noticing that there is lint on his coat) turns to Shemp and says, "Hey wait a minute, brush him off."
(Camera Close-Up on the broom with the razor blade).
Shemp picks up the broom (not knowing about the razor blade) goes to brush off the customer's coat, (which Shemp has accidentally shredded to bits). Larry at the same time is measuring his sleeve and says "31 inches right?"
SHEMP: (to customer). "Who made that hat?"
CUSTOMER: (replies to Shemp). "My mother."
SHEMP: (to customer says), "I thought so, as Shemp is finishing "brushing" off his coat and Moe is straightening up the sleeves.
MOE: (to the customer after the coat has been put on right), "There you are, you are all set."
CUSTOMER: (as he is exiting the store replies). "Well, see ya on payday."
Shemp, Larry and Moe all shake with fear as they notice the customers coat when he is leaving the store was shredded.
MOE: (taking a hold of Shemp shakes him and Larry hits him on the head yells at him). "What kind of brushing are you doing around here." (and smacks Shemp on the face).
SHEMP: (says to Moe). "He had a loose baste."
(Camera Close-UP): FLOSSIE: (Terry Hargen's girlfriend), as she approaches the sales counter.
Shemp, Larry and Moe run to the sales counter with looks of glee on their faces when the notice Flossie.
SHEMP: (to Flossie). "Yes, mame."
FLOSSIE: (to The Stooges). "Do you dye?" (looking at Shemp).
MOE: (pointing to Shemp and responding to Flossie), "No, that is his natural expression."
LARRY: (to Flossie). "What can we do for you.?
FLOSSIE: (tapping her fingers on the counter hands a dress to Larry). "I would like this dress dyed, Larry what color, Flossie, "henna color."
SHEMP: (to Flossie), "You mean henna color at all."
FLOSSIE: (with a somewhat mad look on her face replies), "no H-E-N-N-A, color sort of a brown-redish.
SHEMP: (looking at Moe), "I never ate a 'brown-redish."
FLOSSIE: (looking around the shop with her hands on her hips and talking to The Stooges), "I am also interested in a sports coat and a pair of slacks for my brother."
FLOSSIE: (pointing a finger at Terry Hargen's suit says), "There is exactly what I want."
Shemp, Larry and Moe all rush to get the suit to give it to Flossie.
MOE: (to Flossie). "Oh yes you can have it, it is tailored gabardine."
FLOSSIE: (to The Stooges), "How much will that be? Larry says $42.00, Shemp says, $47.00, and Moe says $39.00.
MOE: (turning and looking at Shemp). "You better add that up."
SHEMP: Uses the buttons on his vest as a calculator keys in the different prices and totals them.
MOE: (to Shemp). "What is the total?"
SHEMP: (taking the calculator tape out of his mouth with the total on it) "$411.00, but there is a sale on today.
LARRY: (to Flossie). "You get 10% off."
MOE; (to Flossie), "that makes it $42.50.
FLOSSIE: (to The Stooges, as she takes money from her purse), "I'll take it."
MOE: (to Flossie, suspecting her to be Terry's girlfriend says), "just a moment I'll be right back."
MOE: (leaves the counter with the pants) while Shemp and Larry remain at the counter).
MOE: (with a watchful look on his face hoping not to be noticed), Takes the combination to safe out of Mr. Hargen's pants pocket and replaces it with a Pip Boys sales receipt.
Shemp and Larry are behind the counter handing clothes to each other to be dyed.
SHEMP: (handing a pair of stripped pants to Larry saying), "henna color."
LARRY: (to Shemp), "you mean red-brownish."
SHEMP: (to Larry). "Oh, yellow, turnips, cucumbers, anything at all."
MOE: (approaching the sales counter), hands the suit pants to Flossie saying "There we are."
FLOSSIE: (still at the sales counter), checks the watch pocket in the suit and sees the paper thinking it is the combination to the safe.
FLOSSIE: (to the Stooges, after she checks the pocket), "$42.50?
Shemp fixes his hair and Moe with a scared sound in his voice, "yeah."
FLOSSIE: (removing money from her purse starts to count it), 100 - 200 - 300 - 400, 50 she hands over the 50 to Moe and says keep the change.
MOE: (to Flossie), "Thanks."
FLOSSIE: Picking up the suit leaves the store.
MOE: (to Larry and Shemp), "Aren't we the saps, we had a fortune in our hands and we let it slide through, (making gestures with his hand like he was reaching for money).
SHEMP: (in sort of a frantic pace), "I'm gonna search all the clothes."
LARRY: (in response to Shemp), "Me too."
Both Shemp and Larry are searching every pocket of all the clothing there.
(Camera Close-Up): Shemp and Moe.
MOE: (hands on his hips and a look of determination on his face and the $50.00 in his right hand).
SHEMP: (standing by Moe puts his hand through a pant leg and takes th $50.00 from Moe's hand), "Yells hey look, I have found another $50.00."
MOE: (taking hold of a large pair of scissors and "cutting" off Shemp's nose says to Shemp), "Yeah, so you did, wise guy."
MOE: (still "cutting" of Shemp's nose and Shemp is yelling in pain is approached by Larry).
LARRY: (to Moe). Gingerly hits Moe on the arm and says, "Hey, hey, leave him alone." Shemp is rubbing his sore nose.
MOE: (to Shemp with a begrunttled look on his face grunts to Shemp), "ah, why you."
CUSTOMER: (with the shredded coat) walks up to the sales counter and says, "Hiya fellas, my wife is just crazy about the way you fixed this coat, ah, she wants you to make me a pair of pants to match."
SHEMP, LARRY and MOE: (moan ooh), as they fall backwards on the floor behind the sales counter.
CUSTOMER: removes his hat and scratches his head and looks at The Stooges in awe as they are lying on the floor.
(Camera is now in the room where Terry Hargen and his two henchmen are sitting at a table playing cards).
FLOSSIE: (walking in the door), "Hi."
TERRY HARGEN: (standing up and taking the suit from Flossie), "you got 'em."
The two henchmen are sitting at the table one is looking at his cards while the other one is looking at Flossie.
FLOSSIE: (to Terry Hargen), "Here you are sugarplum."
TERRY HARGEN: (talking to Flossie and taking the suit from her hands), checks the watch pocket for the safe combination says to Flossie, "I knew you'd come through baby."
TERRY HARGEN: (Has look of happiness on his face when he thinks he is taking the safe combination from the pocket. He quickly turns mad when he reads), "received in full Pip Boys Cleaners", (camera close up on the receipt).
TERRY HARGEN: (now mad), "why the dirty...," (he goes to check for his money also, while Flossie has a look of dismay on her face and is straightening up her hat). "They even took my bank roll, those dirty crooks."
TERRY HARGEN: (to his henchmen), "Come on boys, we're going calling."
Terry Hargen and his henchmen get up and goes to the cleaners.
(Camera on The Stooges at the cleaners): Moe is pressing a pair of pants, Shemp and Larry are at the sales counter as Shemp yells out to Larry "green suit dry clean."
LARRY: (to Shemp). "Dry Clean, dry clean."
SHEMP: (to Larry), "gold band, repair the pockets."
LARRY: (to Shemp), "gold band, repair the pockets."
Moe is silently standing their completing his pressing chores.
Terry Hargen and his two henchmen walk in (wearing fake beards) approach The Stooges.
SHEMP: (to Terry Hargen with a scared sound in his voice), "yes what can we do for you, sir?
TERRY HARGEN and HIS HENCHMEN: "We would like to have our suits cleaned and press while we wait."
Shemp, Larry, and Moe quickly approaches them, "why certainly, yes sir that is what we'll do."
SHEMP: (turning back Mr. Hargen's suit coat notices the initials "TH" and says while he puts his hand up to his mouth), "oh, oh."
SHEMP: (after noticing the letters and with a look of determination on his face), grabs a hold of Mr. Hargen's beard and pulls it down to expose Mr. Hargen's face).
SHEMP: (with a scared look on his face and his arms raised shouts), "EEB - EEB - EEB."
TERRY HARGEN: (removing his hat and fake beard and places them on the sales counter says to Shemp), "Alright bub, where is that piece of paper that was in my pants pocket.?"
SHEMP: (to Terry Hargen with excitement in his voice), "you mean the one with the numbers on it and the letters L-R-L-R-L-R-L."
TERRY HARGEN: (to Shemp), "that's it, that's it, yes, yes where is it.?
SHEMP: (to Terry Hargen with a sheepish look on his face), "I never saw it."
TERRY HAGEN: (grabbing Shemp by the suit), "Oh, a wise guy." Then turns and looks at his henchmen and says, "Okay fellas, make 'em talk."
Larry turns to run away while one of the henchmen balls up his fists and starts after Larry.
The other henchmen, with Moe looking at him removes his hat and beard places them on the sales counter and charges after Moe.
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP: (quickly puts on Mr. Hargen's beard).
TERRY HARGEN, (grabbing Shemps suit, says), "where's that guy that was here?"
SHEMP: (still wearing the beard points his thumb over his right shoulder says), "he went that away."
TERRY HARGEN: (rolling up his suit sleeves starts to walk away and says), "I'll get him, I'll get him."
SHEMP: (still wearing the beard), crouches down and slowly starts to walk away.
TERRY HARGEN: (realizing that it was Shemp under the beard), turns around with a mad look on his face and kicks Shemp in the backside.
SHEMP: (turning around), yells, "Ooh."
TERRY HAGEN: (grabs the beard and pulls it down to notice that it was Shemp), he then grabs Shemp by the shoulders and says, "why you...?
SHEMP: (with Mr. Hargen still holding on to him), is being bounced backwards and says to Mr. Hargen "cut it out will ya.?
LARRY: (running from one of the henchmen), turns around and backs himself up to a support pole and gives a good swift kick in the stomach (of what Larry thought was one of the henchmen, but in return turns out to be Shemp).
SHEMP: (clutching his stomach), groans out in pain.
(Camera Close-Up): Moe and one of the henchmen. HENCHMEN: Grabs Moe by the hair and starts tickling Moe.
MOE: (still under the henchman's hold), laughs hysterically and says, "cut it out, I am ticklish."
HENCHMEN: (to Moe with his hands on his hip and a gruff sound in his voice says), "come across with the paper."
MOE: (to the henchmen puts his hand in his pocket), "Oh, the paper."
HENCHMEN: (to Moe), "yes, the paper."
MOE: (to henchmen) pulls his hand out of his pocket which is now a fist says to the henchman, "why didn't you say so?"
(Moe then hits the henchmen in the head with his fist and kicks him in the backside)..
HENCHMAN: (bent over), yells out loudly and lands on the ironing board head down and Moe decides to iron his head.
MOE: (still ironing the henchmen, who is yelling out and twitching in pain yells over to Larry), "Larry, I got him."
LARRY: (after getting up from the floor after tying up one of the suspects runs over to help Moe).
LARRY: (to Moe): The henchmen still getting ironed by Moe, Larry says to Moe, "nice work, Moe."
LARRY then picks up a portable iron and tests it to see if it is hot and says to Moe, "We might as well press his pants." (Larry then burns four iron marks on the henchman's backside while Moe is pressing his head).
(Camera Close-Up); SHEMP and TERRY HARGEN:
TERRY HARGEN: (takes hold of Shemp and backs him up to a support pole and says to Shemp), "Where is that paper?
SHEMP: (to Terry Hargen). "I haven't got it."
TERRY HARGEN: (smacks Shemp in the face and picks Shemp up and hangs him on a revolving clothes rack saying), "you'll talk, you'll talk now."
SHEMP: (hanging from the clothes rack starts to say to Mr. Hargen, as Hargen hits Shemp), "Hey, I haven't got it."
TERRY HARGEN: (determined to get the paper, says to Shemp who is still hanging from the clothes rack), "Where is that piece of paper."
SHEMP: (still on the clothes rack), "I haven't got it."
TERRY HARGEN: (to Shemp), who is still on the clothes rack smacks Shemp in the face with his fists. Shemp is screaming frantically and is sent spinning around and Mr. Hargen says, "still won't talk."
SHEMP: (spinning around on the clothes rack), smacks Mr. Hargen square in the face and says to him, "oh, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, honest, I didn't mean it."
TERRY HARGEN: Grabs Shemp by the throat and smacks him in the face and sends Shemp spinning again yelling in pain and says to Shemp, "Oh, still won't talk."
SHEMP: (still on the clothes rack), spins around and hits Terry Hargen square in the face and throws him into a storage vault.
TERRY HARGEN: rubbing his smacked cheek yells, "ooh."
(Camera Close-Up): Moe and Larry:
MOE and LARRY: Are still giving the henchmen a good ironing job and then stands him up, where the henchman wabbles in dizziness and pain.
MOE: (with a board in his hand), walks up to the henchmen that Larry is holding up by the arm, places the board on the henchman's head and says, "oh, his head is steaming." Smacks the henchmen on the head.
HENCHMAN: (with a look of dazement on his face), is stumbling around and gasps for a breath then falls flat on the floor face down.
MOE to LARRY: extends his hand and they shake hands and say in unison, "success, success."
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP and TERRY HARGEN:
SHEMP: (still on the clothes rack), is screaming in pain and sacredness on one of his spins kicks Terry Hargen square in the face sending Mr. Hargen, flat down on the floor.
SHEMP: (still on the clothes rack yells out), "hey Moe, Moe, Larry get me off of here."
Larry and Moe run over and reaches up and help's Shemp down.
MOE to SHEMP: "Take it easy kid, we'll get you right down."
After Larry and Moe got Shemp down, Moe asks Shemp, "how are ya, kid.?
SHEMP: (to Moe), still a bit dazed and dizzy, "oh, I am all right."
Terry Hargen is lying on the floor knocked out flat with Shemp, Moe, and Larry looking at him in happiness.
MOE: (with a look of glee claps his hands and says), "We got him we got Hargen."
OFFICER SHARP: (runs into the store and says), "What's that,? it's Hargen all right, nice work boys." Bends over and places a set of handcuffs on Hargen.
SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE are happy and excited and Moe says "we're in the gip, Larry says, "in the Moolah, and Shemp is just standing there looking totally happy.
MOE: (to Shemp and Larry), "Now we can pay "Skin and Flint."
OFFICER SHARP: (turns around and responds to Moe), "oh, a couple a more, Officer Sharp says to Larry hold him while I phone for the wagon." Larry is standing there holding a knocked out, handcuffed, slouching Terry Hargen.
MOE TO OFFICER SHARP: "Hey, wait a minute, when do we get our reward?"
OFFICER SHARP: (to Moe): "Laughing, the reward, oh, I get the reward but here are some tickets to the policeman's ball."
Larry is holding onto Mr. Hargen, Shemp is starring in amazement and disappointment at the tickets, and Moe with his hands on his hips and look of dismay on his face, "Tickets, to the Policeman's Ball."
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP and LARRY: Larry is still holding Mr. Hargen, Shemp is crying and wailing loudly in sadness goes looking for his handkerchief and doesn't find it so he reaches over to use the lapel on Terry Hargen's suit coat.
SHEMP: (finding some money in Terry Hargen's lapel), says, "oh, green stuff."
Shemp is just starting to count it when he is hidden by Moe when officer Sharp walks in and says, "I'll take him, thanks again boys."
SHEMP, LARRY and MOE: (in unison): "Oh, thank-you."
Larry is standing by Shemp's side rubbing his hands in glee.
MOE to SHEMP: (in surprise and a bit scared), says to Shemp, "Hurry up and count it, we got to split it."
LARRY: is dancing in glee.
SHEMP to MOE: "wait a minute, wait a minute, 100 - 200 - 300 - 400 - 500 - , 50, how did that get in here and Shemp wads up the $50.00 and throws in on the floor.
MOE: sort of waves the $50.00 good-bye.
The short ends with Shemp, Larry and Moe diving onto the floor retreiving the wadded up $50.00 bill.
The short begins by showing an outside shot of Shemp, Moe, and Larry's Dry Cleaning Business.
(Which reads on the right window pane): "Pip Boys --- Lary, Moe & Shemp Unaccusstomed Tailors Men's Furnishings New and 2nd Hand Clothes Cheep."
(Camera Close-Up): MOE: (opening the curtains and straightening up a suit in the left window that reads): "Cleaning, Pressing, and Altercations."
(Camera Close-Up): MOE: Jumping over the sales counter with a far shot on Larry with a tape measure around his neck and he is trying to clean a spot off of a pair of pants (that happens to be a sun spot shining through a hole in the wall).
SHEMP: Measuring a pair of pants (on a set of fake legs) to be altered.
MOE: (opening the morning mail).
(Camera Close-Up): LARRY: (moaning and rubbing frantically at the spot on the pants) trying to remove it. Larry takes a drink of his soda and says with his hands on his hips (in general conversation to Shemp and Moe with a determined look on his face). "That is the toughest spot I have ever tackled."
(Camera still on Larry): LARRY: (with a mad look on his face and mumbling in madness at the spot says): "You are not gonna beat me." He puts more dry cleaning solution on a cloth and in determination he rubs vigorously on the spot determined to remove it.
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP: (still measuring his pants to be altered).
LARRY: (shouts to Shemp): "Hey Shemp, give me a hand will ya?"
SHEMP: (in reply to Larry): "I can't now, I have to finish my pants."
MOE: (comes running into camera view and says). "Hey fellas, listen to this letter. (Moe begins to read the letter): "Gentlemen, (Shemp then throws in a remark, that ain't for us, we're not gentlemen looking Moe right in the face).
MOE: (hits Shemp in the nose and says). "Speak for yourself." (While Shemp is rubbing his nose in pain and Larry is looking over Moe's left shoulder):
MOE: (starts to read the letter again): "Gentlemen, this is to inform you that unless over due payments for tailoring equipment are made within 24 hours we will reposes set equipment --- balance now due, $321.86.
Signed: Skin and Flint Finance Corporation
I. Fleecem, President
LARRY: (with a look of dismay on his face and replies after Moe has finished reading the letter). "That will put us out of business, what will we do?"
MOE: (hands on his hips and a worried look on his face looks over at Shemp):
SHEMP: (in his reply to the reading of the letter). "You guys worry about that, I'm too young to worry and get wrinkles on my pretty little face."
SHEMP: "What we need is a little music to cheer us up."
(Moe with his hands on his hips and Larry by Moe's right side with his tape measure still around his neck both are standing there looking at Shemp with blank looks on their faces).
SHEMP: (pushes back his pants on the fake legs that he is working on), walks over and turns on the radio, Moe is standing and watching Shemp.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: "News flashes, (Moe was getting ready to bonk Shemp in the face when the Radio Announcer continues): "Police are frantically scouring the town in search of 'Terry (Slippery Fingers) Hargen.' Hargen has robbed his 18th consecutive safe in 9 days --- a large reward is offered for his capture." (Both Shemp and Moe are standing by the radio listening inventively and surprised looks on their faces).
RADIO ANNOUNCER: (gives a commercial announcement): "Does your car have indigestion? --- does it burp in the morning? ---try no Burpoline the only gasoline that contains bicarbonate of soda."
(Camera is still on a close-up of both Shemp and Moe). MOE: (standing with his hands on his hips). SHEMP: (bending over to turn off the radio).
SHEMP: (with his hand extended out says to Moe): "Hey Moe, why don't we capture Hargen and collect the reward then we can pay our bills."
MOE: (crossing his arms and talking to Shemp and says): "Oh, it is simple as all that, (then Moe does a hand gesture). Hargen is gonna walk right in here and let you capture him, you're nuts --- we're gonna be paupers, paupers."
SHEMP: (in reply to Moe). "Are you kidding? we're not even married. (Moe then bonks Shemp right in the nose and gives him an eye poke).
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP: (rubbing his sore nose while Moe says to him). "Why don't you be quiet, think..."
(Moe with one arm crossed and Shemp with his fingers on his chin are thinking).
(Camera Close-Up): LARRY: (who is frantically and very determined to remove that spot off of the pants on his alterations board). Larry rubbed the spot with deep determination to remove it that he has turned it into a hole. (Larry smiling states). "At least I got the spot out."
LARRY: (setting down the pants on his board notices the spot on another part of the pants), Larry then realizes that the spot he was fighting with was the sun shining in through a hole in the wall. Larry in reply to his discovery says. "Oh boy, am I a sap."
MOE: (in general conversation to both Shemp and Larry): "I cannot think when I
am hungry."
(Camera Close-Up): LARRY: (reaches for what he thought was his soda bottle to get a drink), accidentally grabs the bottle of dry cleaning solution and takes a big drink of it.
MOE: (walking passed Larry gets sprayed with the solution as Larry is wiping it off of his face).
MOE: (states to Larry). "Oh, a funny man --- what's the matter with you." (Moe then smacks Larry on the face).
LARRY: (in reply to Moe as Moe is walking to the ironing board). "What did I do?"
MOE: ( in general conversation to both Shemp and Larry asks). "Who wants lunch? SHEMP: (I do), LARRY: (replies make me some too).
MOE: (bends over a storage box) gets out a pitcher with pancake batter in it -then he cooks four pancakes on the ironing board.
MOE: (when the pancakes are done rubs his hands in happiness and says). "Oh, boy (with a look of delight on his face and glee in his voice)..He takes the pancakes from the ironing board with a fork and slices them onto the plates with a pair of scissors and then rubs his hands once more in happiness. Moe picks up the two plates and walks over and gives one to Larry.
SHEMP (in background camera shot then a close-up): Laughing hysterically at the comic strips.
MOE: (walks up to Shemp and grabs him by the nose and says). "What are you stalling around for, You know you have a rush order to get out." (Shemp is rubbing his nose).
MOE: (says to Shemp), "get Mr. Grant's pants and hand press them."
SHEMP: (with a determined look on his face replies to Moe). "Alright, alright, but where are they?
MOE: (replies to Shemp). "I pinned them up on the shade, what did you do with them.?
SHEMP: (in response to Moe). "I didn't touch them, (Shemp has his hands in a fist and a mad look on his face).
MOE: "oh, oh --- and goes over and pulls down the window shade and finds the pants still up there and very well rolled up.
MOE: (after taking the rolled up pants off of the window shade hands them over to Shemp). "Here, hurry up and press those, what are standing around for?"
(Camera Close-Up on a Shemp solo shot): SHEMP: (with the rolled up pants under his left arm enters the pressing room).
SHEMP: (walking over to the hand ironing board puts the pants on it that are temporally flattened out). Shemp turns to get the iron and finds the pants have rolled back up.
SHEMP: (trying to flatten out the pants again while goes back for the iron only to find they have rolled back up again).
SHEMP: (with a mad look on his face, moans and grunts and then tries to straighten them out again). Shemp spins around in a circle and laughs at the pants and sticks his tongue out at them because the pants are once again temporally flat.
SHEMP: (by the time has the iron in his hand and turns around to press them has noticed that the pants are rolled back up again.
SHEMP: (being furious at the pants) forgets he has the iron in his other hand, goes to clap his hands only to have burned his hand.
SHEMP: (now really furious with the pants quickly blows on his burnt hand and returns to try and press the pants).
SHEMP: (rolls out the pants) climbs up on the ironing board to keep them flat, (while he is on the ironing board he stops to take a look at his burnt hand and shakes it and moans in pain).
SHEMP: (still on the ironing board, picks up the iron, crawls forward to start ironing, but in the process he closes himself in the cupboard and gets slammed back out and falls on the floor yelling in pain.
SHEMP: (picks himself off of the floor and in deep pain and a hurt look on his face rubs his head with one hand and checks to see if he has a broken nose with the other hand).
SHEMP: (picks himself off of the floor with a mad and determined look on his face, throws the ironing board up in the air and states). "You double crosser." Only to have the ironing board come crashing down and hitting him on the head.
SHEMP: (letting out several hurtful moans), gingerly puts the ironing board in the cupboard, but forgets to close the door carefully, slamming it shut to keep the ironing board in place, it bounces back and hits poor Shemp square in the nose.
SHEMP: (dances in pain, shakes his fists and mumbles madly at the ironing board door). He goes and gets a broom and says to the ironing board as he raises the broom to hit the ironing board says, "Wise guy, this time I'll close ya," just as Shemp goes to hit the ironing board door to close it, Moe walks in and gets hit square in the face with the broom.
SHEMP: (walks over to Moe), puts his hand on Moe's shoulder and says, "Moe I'm sorry Moe --- and Moe replies to Shemp as he takes the broom from Shemp's hand, "Think nothing of it, (Shemp has a happy look on his face). Moe extends out his hand to shake Shemp's in friendship Shemp says, "Gee thanks," (Moe replies), "you're welcome," (Moe then hits Shemp over the head with the broom handle Shemp grabs his head and rubs it and groans in pain.
MOE: (really mad at Shemp), puts the broom handle in Shemp's mouth dragging him out of the pressing room with Shemp yelling in pain.
(Camera Close-Up): (Shemp and Larry are in the alterations room).
LARRY: (has his back to the camera). SHEMP: (facing the camera).
SHEMP: (hemming a pair of pants) pokes Larry once in the backside and once in the stomach with his needle.
LARRY to SHEMP: (yells out in pain). "What's the idea?"
SHEMP: (replies to Larry), "Sorry but you stepped into me."
(Camera is now outside of the shop). A lady is walking down the street.
(Camera far shot), on a frantic gentlemen running down the street, (which turns out to be the bank robber, Terry Hargen). Mr. Hargen makes a mad dash into the Stooges store to hide from being chased by a Police Officer, (Officer Sharp).
TERRY HARGEN: (in panic), desides to become one of the dummies so he throws his coat on the floor, exchanges hats with one of the dummies and paints a fake mustache on his face with shoe polish, and stands perfectly still as not to be recognized.
POLICE OFFICER SHARP: (frantic, running down the street looking for Terry Hargen), enters their business.
OFFICER SHARP: (gets in just a few words says), "Hey fellas, (Larry points a finger at him and shouts), pointing at the Policeman, "A customer, The Stooges run to greet him leaping over the sales counter.
POLICE OFFICER SHARP: (manages to get in a few words), "have you seen," (then he is grabbed by Shemp, Moe, and Larry).
LARRY, MOE, and SHEMP: LARRY: (talks first by saying), "yes don't' worry about it, MOE: "you've come to the right place, SHEMP: (as he pats the officer on the shoulder). "this is the place where your dollars have more sense.
MOE: (to Officer Sharp): "Say, we have the very sports coat you are looking for." (Larry and Moe rush over to one of the dummies which happens to be Mr. Hargen the bank robber, and takes off the coat and rushes back to Officer Sharp and says here try it on.
OFFICER SHARP: ( in reply to Larry and Moe): "I don't want a coat, I don't want a coat, I don't want a coat."
SHEMP: (to Officer Sharp), "but listen mister, we are gonna give you a bargain."
SHEMP: (to Officer Sharp, folding back the lapel on the suit he is wearing) asks him "Were did you get this mess?"
OFFICER SHARP: (replies to Shemp): "I bought it here." Shemp then folds back the lapel and says to him, "oh what a beautiful "messterpiece." Meanwhile, Larry and Moe have the sports coat in their hands. MOE: (speaks first), "here ain't it a beauty," then Larry says, genuine import smell the ocean."
SHEMP: "it's 200% wool."
OFFICER SHARP, 200% wool?.
SHEMP: Yes sir, these sheep led a double life." (Shemp slaps his leg and lets out several laughs), while Moe and Larry are putting the suit coat on Officer Sharp over the suit coat he is already wearing.
OFFICER SHARP: (with a grimace on his face says), "I don't want a coat, I don't want a coat, (then with a bit sharper tone of voice and his fists clenched, once again shouts), "I don't want a coat."
SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: (responding in unison): "Oh he don't wanna a coat." LARRY: (replies to Moe): "What he wants is a pair of our slick slacks."
MOE: (in reply to Larry): "Why didn't you tell me the man wanted slacks."
(Moe smacking Larry on the face and shoves him and says), "Go ahead."
OFFICER SHARP: (a bit mad says): "I don't want any slacks."
MOE: (replies to Officer Sharp): "Now look bud, in this store the customer is always right."
LARRY: (goes to one of the dummies, which happens to be Terry Hargen, the bank robber) and removes his pants. Accidentally the dummy, (Terry Hargen) helps Larry remove the pants by lifting his foot. Larry looks back in surprise.
TERRY HARGEN: (the dummy): Quickly stiffens back-up to resume his dummy position hoping not to be noticed.
LARRY: (scratching his head and a look of awe on his face walks away), extends the trousers to Office Sharp, "Here you are brother, slick slacks try them on for size." Moe also states, "Oh yes, try them right on."
MOE: (folding back the officer's lapel) notice's his badge, huffs on it and polishes it with his shirt sleeve.
SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: (in unison): "Gee, Officer..."
OFFICER SHARP: (furiously yelling at them says), "quiet, you birds realize that you just let Terry Hargen the bank robber slip right through my hands." (using hand gestures of madness).
OFFICER SHARP: (looking at Shemp and poking him with his finger says), "I oughta run you in."
SHEMP: (in reply to Officer Sharp): "Please Officer, I have six wives and two children."
MOE: (putting his hand on the officer's shoulder and gesturing to the floor says), "Honest officer, there was nobody who came in here."
OFFICER SHARP: (with madness in his voice says to The Stooges): "He's in the neighborhood keep a sharp look out for him, I'll be back."
SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE: (in unison), salute Officer Sharp and say, "Right." (then they clunk heads).
MOE: (to Shemp and Larry): "I'll murder you."
(Camera enters a room with a close-up on one of the henchmen and Flossie, Terry's girlfriend).
FLOSSIE: ( says to Terry): "Howdy sugarplum, how are ya?"
TERRY HARGEN: (removing his over coat and stating the fact that he has on no pants replies). "Just dandy."
FLOSSIE: (noticing that Terry is without pants), laughing hysterically stands up to greet him.
TERRY HARGEN: (talking to Flossie). "Now listen carefully, my clothes are in the "Pip Boys Tailor Shop", around the corner. Now in the watch pocket of the trousers in a piece of paper with a combination to a safe, I want to do that job tonight and I need that paper."
FLOSSIE: (to Terry). "Okay sugar, just leave it to me." (she then gives Terry a small pinch on the cheek).
(Camera is now back at the dry cleaning store):
Moe is hanging up a suit, Shemp is hemming a pair of pants and Larry is mending a pair of pants.
MOE: (turning around) takes a pair of pants and flattens them out on the ironing board to be ironed, while Larry and Shemp are in the background altering. Moe finds the safe combination (L-R-L-R-L-R-L 1-1-2-3-2-2-1) in the pants he is about to press.
MOE: (opening the piece of paper says), "Hey fellas, (Shemp scratching his head and Larry approach him) look at what I found in the pocket of these pants."
(Camera closes in on the safe combination while Moe is reading it). L-R-L-R-L-R-L 1-1-2-3-2-2-1.
MOE: "Hey, L-1, R-1 (makes hand gestures like he is turning the combination knob on a safe) and says, Left 1, Right 1, this is a combination to a safe." (Shemp and Larry are looking over Moe's shoulder in wonder at the discovery that he has made).
MOE: (returning to the suit coat that he just pressed and hung up), turns back the lapel and discovers the initials TH.
MOE: (with a look of wonder on his face says), "TH, I wonder what that means."
SHEMP: (in reply to Moe), "Teddy Hoosevelt."
MOE: (with sort of a mean look on his faces says to Shemp). "Wrong, quiz kid."
LARRY: (with a thinking look on his faces says), TH, TH, I got it, I got it, and Shemp and Moe said what and Larry replies "Thomas Hedison."
MOE: (using hand gestures stating that he thinks Shemp and Larry are idiots says), "Why don't you dumbbells stop, (then Moe looks into the change pocket in the suit coat and discovers that the letters TH stand for the bank robber (Terry Hargen).
MOE: (with a sound of excitement in his voice says), "Terry Hargen, was here, the bank robber was here."
SHEMP: (to Moe). "You're crazy, those clothes came off of one of those dummies, (now no cracks), Moe bends over and bites Shemp on his index finger. Shemp yells out in pain and staggers a bit while Larry shoves him away.
(Camera Close-Up): MOE: (at the front desk), is widdling down a piece of tailor's chalk with a razor blade.
MOE: (after he is done with the chalk), inadvertently drops the razor blade in a hand size whisk broom.
Shemp is mending a pair of pants, Larry (with his back to the camera) is ironing a pair of pants, and Moe is working on a suit.
CUSTOMER: (walks in and says): "Hiya fella's, is my coat altered, Larry picking up the coat, replies, just finished, sleeves 31 inches right, customer right."
MOE: (to the customer), "Try it on" (and straightens it up). The customer says "looks fine."
MOE: (noticing that there is lint on his coat) turns to Shemp and says, "Hey wait a minute, brush him off."
(Camera Close-Up on the broom with the razor blade).
Shemp picks up the broom (not knowing about the razor blade) goes to brush off the customer's coat, (which Shemp has accidentally shredded to bits). Larry at the same time is measuring his sleeve and says "31 inches right?"
SHEMP: (to customer). "Who made that hat?"
CUSTOMER: (replies to Shemp). "My mother."
SHEMP: (to customer says), "I thought so, as Shemp is finishing "brushing" off his coat and Moe is straightening up the sleeves.
MOE: (to the customer after the coat has been put on right), "There you are, you are all set."
CUSTOMER: (as he is exiting the store replies). "Well, see ya on payday."
Shemp, Larry and Moe all shake with fear as they notice the customers coat when he is leaving the store was shredded.
MOE: (taking a hold of Shemp shakes him and Larry hits him on the head yells at him). "What kind of brushing are you doing around here." (and smacks Shemp on the face).
SHEMP: (says to Moe). "He had a loose baste."
(Camera Close-UP): FLOSSIE: (Terry Hargen's girlfriend), as she approaches the sales counter.
Shemp, Larry and Moe run to the sales counter with looks of glee on their faces when the notice Flossie.
SHEMP: (to Flossie). "Yes, mame."
FLOSSIE: (to The Stooges). "Do you dye?" (looking at Shemp).
MOE: (pointing to Shemp and responding to Flossie), "No, that is his natural expression."
LARRY: (to Flossie). "What can we do for you.?
FLOSSIE: (tapping her fingers on the counter hands a dress to Larry). "I would like this dress dyed, Larry what color, Flossie, "henna color."
SHEMP: (to Flossie), "You mean henna color at all."
FLOSSIE: (with a somewhat mad look on her face replies), "no H-E-N-N-A, color sort of a brown-redish.
SHEMP: (looking at Moe), "I never ate a 'brown-redish."
FLOSSIE: (looking around the shop with her hands on her hips and talking to The Stooges), "I am also interested in a sports coat and a pair of slacks for my brother."
FLOSSIE: (pointing a finger at Terry Hargen's suit says), "There is exactly what I want."
Shemp, Larry and Moe all rush to get the suit to give it to Flossie.
MOE: (to Flossie). "Oh yes you can have it, it is tailored gabardine."
FLOSSIE: (to The Stooges), "How much will that be? Larry says $42.00, Shemp says, $47.00, and Moe says $39.00.
MOE: (turning and looking at Shemp). "You better add that up."
SHEMP: Uses the buttons on his vest as a calculator keys in the different prices and totals them.
MOE: (to Shemp). "What is the total?"
SHEMP: (taking the calculator tape out of his mouth with the total on it) "$411.00, but there is a sale on today.
LARRY: (to Flossie). "You get 10% off."
MOE; (to Flossie), "that makes it $42.50.
FLOSSIE: (to The Stooges, as she takes money from her purse), "I'll take it."
MOE: (to Flossie, suspecting her to be Terry's girlfriend says), "just a moment I'll be right back."
MOE: (leaves the counter with the pants) while Shemp and Larry remain at the counter).
MOE: (with a watchful look on his face hoping not to be noticed), Takes the combination to safe out of Mr. Hargen's pants pocket and replaces it with a Pip Boys sales receipt.
Shemp and Larry are behind the counter handing clothes to each other to be dyed.
SHEMP: (handing a pair of stripped pants to Larry saying), "henna color."
LARRY: (to Shemp), "you mean red-brownish."
SHEMP: (to Larry). "Oh, yellow, turnips, cucumbers, anything at all."
MOE: (approaching the sales counter), hands the suit pants to Flossie saying "There we are."
FLOSSIE: (still at the sales counter), checks the watch pocket in the suit and sees the paper thinking it is the combination to the safe.
FLOSSIE: (to the Stooges, after she checks the pocket), "$42.50?
Shemp fixes his hair and Moe with a scared sound in his voice, "yeah."
FLOSSIE: (removing money from her purse starts to count it), 100 - 200 - 300 - 400, 50 she hands over the 50 to Moe and says keep the change.
MOE: (to Flossie), "Thanks."
FLOSSIE: Picking up the suit leaves the store.
MOE: (to Larry and Shemp), "Aren't we the saps, we had a fortune in our hands and we let it slide through, (making gestures with his hand like he was reaching for money).
SHEMP: (in sort of a frantic pace), "I'm gonna search all the clothes."
LARRY: (in response to Shemp), "Me too."
Both Shemp and Larry are searching every pocket of all the clothing there.
(Camera Close-Up): Shemp and Moe.
MOE: (hands on his hips and a look of determination on his face and the $50.00 in his right hand).
SHEMP: (standing by Moe puts his hand through a pant leg and takes th $50.00 from Moe's hand), "Yells hey look, I have found another $50.00."
MOE: (taking hold of a large pair of scissors and "cutting" off Shemp's nose says to Shemp), "Yeah, so you did, wise guy."
MOE: (still "cutting" of Shemp's nose and Shemp is yelling in pain is approached by Larry).
LARRY: (to Moe). Gingerly hits Moe on the arm and says, "Hey, hey, leave him alone." Shemp is rubbing his sore nose.
MOE: (to Shemp with a begrunttled look on his face grunts to Shemp), "ah, why you."
CUSTOMER: (with the shredded coat) walks up to the sales counter and says, "Hiya fellas, my wife is just crazy about the way you fixed this coat, ah, she wants you to make me a pair of pants to match."
SHEMP, LARRY and MOE: (moan ooh), as they fall backwards on the floor behind the sales counter.
CUSTOMER: removes his hat and scratches his head and looks at The Stooges in awe as they are lying on the floor.
(Camera is now in the room where Terry Hargen and his two henchmen are sitting at a table playing cards).
FLOSSIE: (walking in the door), "Hi."
TERRY HARGEN: (standing up and taking the suit from Flossie), "you got 'em."
The two henchmen are sitting at the table one is looking at his cards while the other one is looking at Flossie.
FLOSSIE: (to Terry Hargen), "Here you are sugarplum."
TERRY HARGEN: (talking to Flossie and taking the suit from her hands), checks the watch pocket for the safe combination says to Flossie, "I knew you'd come through baby."
TERRY HARGEN: (Has look of happiness on his face when he thinks he is taking the safe combination from the pocket. He quickly turns mad when he reads), "received in full Pip Boys Cleaners", (camera close up on the receipt).
TERRY HARGEN: (now mad), "why the dirty...," (he goes to check for his money also, while Flossie has a look of dismay on her face and is straightening up her hat). "They even took my bank roll, those dirty crooks."
TERRY HARGEN: (to his henchmen), "Come on boys, we're going calling."
Terry Hargen and his henchmen get up and goes to the cleaners.
(Camera on The Stooges at the cleaners): Moe is pressing a pair of pants, Shemp and Larry are at the sales counter as Shemp yells out to Larry "green suit dry clean."
LARRY: (to Shemp). "Dry Clean, dry clean."
SHEMP: (to Larry), "gold band, repair the pockets."
LARRY: (to Shemp), "gold band, repair the pockets."
Moe is silently standing their completing his pressing chores.
Terry Hargen and his two henchmen walk in (wearing fake beards) approach The Stooges.
SHEMP: (to Terry Hargen with a scared sound in his voice), "yes what can we do for you, sir?
TERRY HARGEN and HIS HENCHMEN: "We would like to have our suits cleaned and press while we wait."
Shemp, Larry, and Moe quickly approaches them, "why certainly, yes sir that is what we'll do."
SHEMP: (turning back Mr. Hargen's suit coat notices the initials "TH" and says while he puts his hand up to his mouth), "oh, oh."
SHEMP: (after noticing the letters and with a look of determination on his face), grabs a hold of Mr. Hargen's beard and pulls it down to expose Mr. Hargen's face).
SHEMP: (with a scared look on his face and his arms raised shouts), "EEB - EEB - EEB."
TERRY HARGEN: (removing his hat and fake beard and places them on the sales counter says to Shemp), "Alright bub, where is that piece of paper that was in my pants pocket.?"
SHEMP: (to Terry Hargen with excitement in his voice), "you mean the one with the numbers on it and the letters L-R-L-R-L-R-L."
TERRY HARGEN: (to Shemp), "that's it, that's it, yes, yes where is it.?
SHEMP: (to Terry Hargen with a sheepish look on his face), "I never saw it."
TERRY HAGEN: (grabbing Shemp by the suit), "Oh, a wise guy." Then turns and looks at his henchmen and says, "Okay fellas, make 'em talk."
Larry turns to run away while one of the henchmen balls up his fists and starts after Larry.
The other henchmen, with Moe looking at him removes his hat and beard places them on the sales counter and charges after Moe.
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP: (quickly puts on Mr. Hargen's beard).
TERRY HARGEN, (grabbing Shemps suit, says), "where's that guy that was here?"
SHEMP: (still wearing the beard points his thumb over his right shoulder says), "he went that away."
TERRY HARGEN: (rolling up his suit sleeves starts to walk away and says), "I'll get him, I'll get him."
SHEMP: (still wearing the beard), crouches down and slowly starts to walk away.
TERRY HARGEN: (realizing that it was Shemp under the beard), turns around with a mad look on his face and kicks Shemp in the backside.
SHEMP: (turning around), yells, "Ooh."
TERRY HAGEN: (grabs the beard and pulls it down to notice that it was Shemp), he then grabs Shemp by the shoulders and says, "why you...?
SHEMP: (with Mr. Hargen still holding on to him), is being bounced backwards and says to Mr. Hargen "cut it out will ya.?
LARRY: (running from one of the henchmen), turns around and backs himself up to a support pole and gives a good swift kick in the stomach (of what Larry thought was one of the henchmen, but in return turns out to be Shemp).
SHEMP: (clutching his stomach), groans out in pain.
(Camera Close-Up): Moe and one of the henchmen. HENCHMEN: Grabs Moe by the hair and starts tickling Moe.
MOE: (still under the henchman's hold), laughs hysterically and says, "cut it out, I am ticklish."
HENCHMEN: (to Moe with his hands on his hip and a gruff sound in his voice says), "come across with the paper."
MOE: (to the henchmen puts his hand in his pocket), "Oh, the paper."
HENCHMEN: (to Moe), "yes, the paper."
MOE: (to henchmen) pulls his hand out of his pocket which is now a fist says to the henchman, "why didn't you say so?"
(Moe then hits the henchmen in the head with his fist and kicks him in the backside)..
HENCHMAN: (bent over), yells out loudly and lands on the ironing board head down and Moe decides to iron his head.
MOE: (still ironing the henchmen, who is yelling out and twitching in pain yells over to Larry), "Larry, I got him."
LARRY: (after getting up from the floor after tying up one of the suspects runs over to help Moe).
LARRY: (to Moe): The henchmen still getting ironed by Moe, Larry says to Moe, "nice work, Moe."
LARRY then picks up a portable iron and tests it to see if it is hot and says to Moe, "We might as well press his pants." (Larry then burns four iron marks on the henchman's backside while Moe is pressing his head).
(Camera Close-Up); SHEMP and TERRY HARGEN:
TERRY HARGEN: (takes hold of Shemp and backs him up to a support pole and says to Shemp), "Where is that paper?
SHEMP: (to Terry Hargen). "I haven't got it."
TERRY HARGEN: (smacks Shemp in the face and picks Shemp up and hangs him on a revolving clothes rack saying), "you'll talk, you'll talk now."
SHEMP: (hanging from the clothes rack starts to say to Mr. Hargen, as Hargen hits Shemp), "Hey, I haven't got it."
TERRY HARGEN: (determined to get the paper, says to Shemp who is still hanging from the clothes rack), "Where is that piece of paper."
SHEMP: (still on the clothes rack), "I haven't got it."
TERRY HARGEN: (to Shemp), who is still on the clothes rack smacks Shemp in the face with his fists. Shemp is screaming frantically and is sent spinning around and Mr. Hargen says, "still won't talk."
SHEMP: (spinning around on the clothes rack), smacks Mr. Hargen square in the face and says to him, "oh, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, honest, I didn't mean it."
TERRY HARGEN: Grabs Shemp by the throat and smacks him in the face and sends Shemp spinning again yelling in pain and says to Shemp, "Oh, still won't talk."
SHEMP: (still on the clothes rack), spins around and hits Terry Hargen square in the face and throws him into a storage vault.
TERRY HARGEN: rubbing his smacked cheek yells, "ooh."
(Camera Close-Up): Moe and Larry:
MOE and LARRY: Are still giving the henchmen a good ironing job and then stands him up, where the henchman wabbles in dizziness and pain.
MOE: (with a board in his hand), walks up to the henchmen that Larry is holding up by the arm, places the board on the henchman's head and says, "oh, his head is steaming." Smacks the henchmen on the head.
HENCHMAN: (with a look of dazement on his face), is stumbling around and gasps for a breath then falls flat on the floor face down.
MOE to LARRY: extends his hand and they shake hands and say in unison, "success, success."
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP and TERRY HARGEN:
SHEMP: (still on the clothes rack), is screaming in pain and sacredness on one of his spins kicks Terry Hargen square in the face sending Mr. Hargen, flat down on the floor.
SHEMP: (still on the clothes rack yells out), "hey Moe, Moe, Larry get me off of here."
Larry and Moe run over and reaches up and help's Shemp down.
MOE to SHEMP: "Take it easy kid, we'll get you right down."
After Larry and Moe got Shemp down, Moe asks Shemp, "how are ya, kid.?
SHEMP: (to Moe), still a bit dazed and dizzy, "oh, I am all right."
Terry Hargen is lying on the floor knocked out flat with Shemp, Moe, and Larry looking at him in happiness.
MOE: (with a look of glee claps his hands and says), "We got him we got Hargen."
OFFICER SHARP: (runs into the store and says), "What's that,? it's Hargen all right, nice work boys." Bends over and places a set of handcuffs on Hargen.
SHEMP, LARRY, and MOE are happy and excited and Moe says "we're in the gip, Larry says, "in the Moolah, and Shemp is just standing there looking totally happy.
MOE: (to Shemp and Larry), "Now we can pay "Skin and Flint."
OFFICER SHARP: (turns around and responds to Moe), "oh, a couple a more, Officer Sharp says to Larry hold him while I phone for the wagon." Larry is standing there holding a knocked out, handcuffed, slouching Terry Hargen.
MOE TO OFFICER SHARP: "Hey, wait a minute, when do we get our reward?"
OFFICER SHARP: (to Moe): "Laughing, the reward, oh, I get the reward but here are some tickets to the policeman's ball."
Larry is holding onto Mr. Hargen, Shemp is starring in amazement and disappointment at the tickets, and Moe with his hands on his hips and look of dismay on his face, "Tickets, to the Policeman's Ball."
(Camera Close-Up): SHEMP and LARRY: Larry is still holding Mr. Hargen, Shemp is crying and wailing loudly in sadness goes looking for his handkerchief and doesn't find it so he reaches over to use the lapel on Terry Hargen's suit coat.
SHEMP: (finding some money in Terry Hargen's lapel), says, "oh, green stuff."
Shemp is just starting to count it when he is hidden by Moe when officer Sharp walks in and says, "I'll take him, thanks again boys."
SHEMP, LARRY and MOE: (in unison): "Oh, thank-you."
Larry is standing by Shemp's side rubbing his hands in glee.
MOE to SHEMP: (in surprise and a bit scared), says to Shemp, "Hurry up and count it, we got to split it."
LARRY: is dancing in glee.
SHEMP to MOE: "wait a minute, wait a minute, 100 - 200 - 300 - 400 - 500 - , 50, how did that get in here and Shemp wads up the $50.00 and throws in on the floor.
MOE: sort of waves the $50.00 good-bye.
The short ends with Shemp, Larry and Moe diving onto the floor retreiving the wadded up $50.00 bill.
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