Lobby Cards: The Classic Comedies (The Michael Hawks Collection: Volume II)
This website is made possible, in part, by displaying a few online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker for this site.
Please consider supporting us by disabling your ad blocker for this site.
Transcribed By: xraffle
Date Added: 2008-10-29
[The short opens up on a door that reads: “Super Terrific Productions- B.O. Botswaddle, President”]
[Mr. Botswaddle walks up to the open door, looks out in the hallway. He then closes it]
BOTSWADDLE: Oh, where is Mirabel, Mirabel? [turns to Herbert] Do you hear? Where is she?
HERBERT: How do I know? I’m not her husband. I’m only her director.
BOTSWADDLE: Well she knows we’re waiting for her.
[Mirabel walks in, but Botswaddle has his back turned]
BOTSWADDLE: Where is Mirabel, Mirabel?
MIRABEL: Here I am, B.O. Why all the huff?
BOTSWADDLE: [turns around] Oh, my darling. You know we leave within a week for Africa to make ‘Jilted in the Jungles.’ Why, you’ve got to get ready, my dear.
MIRABEL: Why go to Africa? The studio alone looks like a jungle.
BOTSWADDLE: Ye---
MIRABEL: Besides, we can’t leave until you get me a leading man.
BOTSWADDLE: Leading man! But in this picture, my darling, you work opposite a gorilla. [to Herbert] Haven’t we got anyone under contract that, uh, looks like an ape?
MIRABEL: No, not even your relatives
BOTSWADDLE: You look--- [does a double take] Oh! Pretty fresh, huh? But we’ll find one. [to Herbert] Get that script. I want to go over it. [to Mirabel] Come on. We’ll sit over here. We’ve got a lot of work to do.
[Botswaddle, Mirabel, and Herbert sit on the couch to look over the script. We hear several knocks on the door]
BOTSWADDLE: Come in.
[The stooges enter. Larry is holding a mop over his shoulder. Curly is holding a mop and brush over his shoulder]
MOE: [clears throat] Hi, Mr. Botswaddle. Can we clean up now?
LARRY: We’ll be as quiet as a mouse.
CURLY: Yeah, deaf and dumb mouse. Nyuk nyuk!
BOTSWADDLE: Ok, but don’t disturb us.
[The stooges signal to each other that they need to be quiet]
MOE: Now, Mr. Botswaddle---
[Larry and Curly turn around and they hit Moe in the head with the brush and mop that they're holding]
MOE: Ow!!!
BOTSWADDLE: Quiet!
[The stooges make the “Shh” signal to Botswaddle. Then, the stooges drop all of their stuff on the floor, making a lot of noise. Botswaddle and Herbert look annoyed but they resume what they’re doing.]
[Curly walks up to Botswaddle's desk. He takes the container of ink and pours it in a wine glass. He dumps that container in a pail of water. He takes another object from Botswaddle's desk and he also dumps that in the pail as well. He moves the glass of ink to the smaller table that's near the desk. Curly then cleans Botswaddle's desk by sweeping everything in the garbage]
[Cut to Larry and Moe. Larry is mopping while Moe is dusting. Moe tries to close the office door, but he ends up closing it on Larry's rear]
[Cut to Curly. He sprays some water on Botswaddle's desk. He then takes a window wiper and starts wiping off the water. Some of the water splashes on Moe and Larry. Moe and Larry stop what they're doing. Moe sees Larry's mop dripping, so he thinks it was him]
LARRY: Wait a minute---
[Moe grabs Larry's nose and hits it]
MOE: Shh!!
[Curly continues to wipe the desk with the wiper.]
MOE: I’ll knock your brains out! I---
[More water splashes on Moe and Larry. Now, Moe and Larry know it was Curly all the time. Moe signals to Larry to pick up the bucket of water. Larry picks it up and they approach Curly]
CURLY: Hold this. [hands Moe the wiper]
[Moe pulls Curly’s outer clothes with the wiper while Larry pours the bucket of water in]
CURLY: Haa! Haa hoo! Ha! Ta! Ta ta ta!
[Curly starts sticking out his fists]
CURLY: Hmm! Hmm!
MOE: Ah!! [slaps one of Curly’s fists and Curly ends up bonking Moe in the head]
MOE: Oh! [to Larry] Give me that bucket! Give me the bucket! Give me the bucket! I’ll murder ya!
[Moe grabs the bucket and throws it to Curly but he ducks. The bucket hits the glass door and it breaks. Botswaddle, Herbert, and Mirabel get startled]
CURLY: See! You missed me. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
MOE: What ya duck for? See what you made me do?
[Moe twists Curly’s ears]
CURLY: Oh! [Larry hits Curly's stomach] Oh! [Moe hits Curly in the head] Ow!!
[Botswaddle and Herbert approach the stooges]
MOE: [to Curly] That’ll cost us a month’s salary.
BOTSWADDLE: Oh no, it won’t.
LARRY: Ohh! It won’t.
BOTSWADDLE: You’re fired!
CURLY: Fired, aye---
LARRY: [walks up to Botswaddle] Wait a minute! Please give us another chance, will you, Mr. Botswaddle?
BOTSWADDLE: No no!
MOE: We’re not really janitors, we’re actors.
CURLY: Why, Mr. Herbert, we’re the greatest impersonators in the world.
MOE: We’re terrific!
LARRY: We’re colossal.
CURLY: We’re even mediocre. Here’s an impersonation of a chicken with its head cut off.
[Curly falls to the floor]
CURLY: Eeeehh! Ahh!
[Curly starts spinning around on the floor. After he’s done, he gets up]
CURLY: What do you think of that, huh?
HERBERT: What do I think of that!? [to Botswaddle] Let me kill him. Just once! It won’t cost much. [tries to attack Curly, but Botswaddle holds him back]
CURLY: Oh, ungrateful, eh! Ruff! Arrf! [starts pounding his chest as he growls]
[Botswaddle and Herbert look shocked]
BOTSWADDLE: [to Herbert] Do you see the same thing I do? The fat one! Fate must have sent him. He’s the dead image of the missing link.
CURLY: Thank you! [starts to look confused] Huh?
HERBERT: I think you’re right. And look at the other two! Neanderthal men straight from the Stone Age!
BOTSWADDLE: We’ve found our leading man. Now we can start our picture at once. You men are hired!
CURLY: Fired and hired in once day. Thanks B.O.
[Dissolve to the stooges, Botswaddle, and Herbert, who are making a toast. Everyone has a glass of liquor, accept Curly who has the glass of ink]
HERBERT: To our success and Africa!
[Everyone accept Curly lifts their glass up]
MOE & LARRY: To Africa!
CURLY: [lifts his glass] Darkest Africa!
[Curly drinks his glass of ink. A mess of ink is left around his mouth after he drinks it]
CURLY: Ah!! Ah! Good! Cordial! [looks at his glass and he realizes what he just drank] Yahh!!
[The scene ends and a new scene begins in the middle of the jungle in Africa. The stooges, Herbert, and Mirabel are walking through the jungle]
HERBERT: Well, I wonder where that safari is. We ought to be up with them by now.
CURLY: Maybe they’re so-fari away, we’ll never catch ‘em. Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk---
[Moe grabs a large spoon that Curly is holding and he hits Curly in the head with it]
CURLY: Ow!
MOE: There’s our equipment. [points to a bunch of equipment lying in the middle of the jungle]
MOE: Come on.
[Herbert, Mirabel, Moe and Larry walk up to the equipment. Curly follows them and we see him walking with snowshoes.]
HERBERT: Well this is a fine kettle of fish. I told B.O not to pay those porters in advance. Now, they deserted us.
CURLY: You mean they ftt! [spits on Herbert’s face]
HERBERT: Yes, they ftt! [spits in Curly’s eye]
CURLY: Oh! [rubs his eye and turns to Moe] I knew it all the time.
HERBERT: [to the stooges] It’ll be dark pretty soon. We’re gonna pitch camp right here. You fellas see if you can find some water. [to Mirabel] Come on darling. I’ll make you comfortable.
[Herbert and Mirabel leave]
MOE: We gotta find some water.
[The stooges look around]
CURLY: Why there’s water everywhere. There’s water here.
MOE: Where?
CURLY: Up there! [points up to the tree]
[Curly shakes the tree and a lot of water falls on the stooges]
CURLY: Ah ah ah ah! I didn’t think there was that much water.
MOE: I’ll murder you!
LARRY: You didn’t think, eh!
[Moe and Larry chase after Curly as he runs away]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo--- [bumps into a tree] Oh! Oh!
[Moe and Larry catch up to Curly and grab him]
MOE: Ah, water everywhere huh! Why--- [extends his hand to hit Curly but he accidentally slaps Larry in the face]
LARRY: Oh!!
MOE: [turns to Larry] I didn’t mean that, kid!
CURLY: Look!
[Curly points to a small cabin with a sign that reads: “Dr. Ba Loni Sulami- Medicine Man. Hours 2 to 5 or by appointment”]
CURLY: Maybe there’s water over there.
MOE: Are you gonna start that again? [gets ready to punch Curly, but Dr. Sulami himself comes out from behind the tree and approaches the stooges]
DR. SULAMI: [in a native accent] Got lots water for you. Water welcome! Water welcome! Come eat water. Got nice supper! [points to the cabin]
CURLY: What are we waiting for?
MOE: Let’s go. Come on! [grabs Dr. Sulami]
LARRY: Come on.
[The stooges run up to the cabin]
CURLY: Woo woo woo!
MOE: Get in there!
[The stooges and Dr. Sulami enter the cabin. Inside the cabin, we see a pail hanging on top of a flame. Curly looks at it]
CURLY: Oh boy, am I hungry. What have we got for supper?
DR. SULAMI: Nice, fat missionary.
[The stooges get scared]
CURLY: Oh!!
[Dr. Sulami approaches Curly and taps his stomach]
DR. SULAMI: Hmm! Make nice big stew and I do mean stew.
CURLY: Maybe you’d rather have some pelican and I do mean pelican. [pulls Moe in front of him]
MOE: Here’s some wild muskrat for ya! [pulls Larry in front of him]
LARRY: Oh! [backs away in fright]
CURLY: [grabs a bowl of love candy from the shelf] Hey! What’s this?
DR. SULAMI: Them? Love candy. [lifts his arms up] Make big, strong love!
CURLY: Love candy? Oh boy! Mirabel! May it’ll make her love me. Ah ha ha!
[Curly grabs some love candy]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo! [gives a coin to Dr. Sulami]
DR. SULAMI: Big thanks. Customer always right.
[Dr. Sulami puts the coin into the little cash register]
DR. SULAMI: [turns to Curly] Me give you love candy, you give me nice, big bone. [puts his hand on Curly’s head] Make good soup.
[Dr. Sulami grabs a big knife. Curly sees the knife and now knows that Dr. Sulami plans on making soup out of him]
CURLY: Eh ah ah ah! [eyepokes Dr. Sulami] Ruff! [runs away]
DR. SULAMI: [holding his eyes in pain] Ah!
CURLY: Ah ah ah!
[Curly runs into a tree]
CURLY: Ah! Aaaaaahh! [faints and Moe catches him]
MOE: [to Curly] Hey kid! Key kid! Come on, he’ll make soup out of ya.
[Curly revives. The stooges see Dr. Sulami chasing after them]
CURLY: Eeeeh ah ah ah! Woo woo woo woo woo!
[The stooges run away]
[Dissolve to a scene where we see the stooges setting up a tent. Curly sees Mirabel combing her hair, so he stops what he is doing and takes out his love candy. He is about to walk towards her, but Moe stops him]
MOE: Hey! Where are you going?
CURLY: I’m going to give Mirabel some love candy.
MOE: Get back there and get to work. [slaps Curly in the back of the head]
CURLY: Oh stop it now. Stop it. All of the time, you’re always… always beefing, always hollering.
[Larry is seen standing and leaning against the side of tent. He is asleep and snoring. Curly takes a stake and pounds it to the ground with a sledgehammer]
CURLY: [as he's pounding] My day will come.
[As soon as Curly finishes hammering the stake into the ground, it pops up by itself]
CURLY: Ah! Hmm!
[Curly pounds the stake back into the ground. After he finishes, the stake stays in the ground and it doesn't pop up. He takes another stake and pounds it into the ground. Once he finishes pounding the second stake into the ground, the first stake pops up again]
CURLY: Ah ah! Hmm!
[Curly pounds the stake back into the ground, but as he does it, he accidentally hit himself in the face with the hammer]
CURLY: Oh oh ooh! Hmm!
[Curly finishes hammering the first stake into the ground. When he finishes, the two stakes stay in the ground. Curly stands up. Then, all of a sudden, both stakes pop up at the same time. Curly falls on the floor]
CURLY: Oh! Hmm! Moe, Lar--- Hmm! [starts whimpering] Ah! Moe Moe Moe Moe! Hey Moe!
[Moe walks up to Curly]
MOE: What’s the matter with you?
CURLY: They won’t stay in the ground.
MOE: What won’t?
CURLY: The stakes.
MOE: Oh, you turniphead. Hold it!
MOE: You never learn anything.
[Curly holds the stake as Moe tries to hit it with the hammer. When Moe tries to hit the stake, he accidentally hits Curly's hand]
CURLY: Oh oh oh! Oh oh! What do you want to do, drive me in the ground? Let me do it.
MOE: Hey, you ain’t out for revenge, are you?
CURLY: No, I wouldn’t hit ya, I never hit anybody in my life.
MOE: Well, just watch your P’s and Q’s.
CURLY: Where are they?
[Moe holds the stake next to a black puddle of water.]
CURLY: Oh! Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!
[When Curly tries to hit the stake with the hammer, he accidentally hits the puddle and all the black water splashes on Moe's face and makes a mess]
CURLY: Ya ah!
[Moe tries to wipe his face with his hand.]
CURLY: Sorry Moe! I couldn’t help it. It just slipped. Honest. It’s an accident.
[As Moe wipes his face with his hand, he accidentally splashes some of the dirty, black water on Larry’s face. Larry has an angry look. Moe turns to Curly]
CURLY: Eaah! I’m sorry, pal. You musta moved.
MOE: Yeah, that’s alright, kid. [pinches Curly's face] Forget about it.
CURLY: Thank you, I--- I was really, I---
[Moe grabs the hammer from Curly. He turns around and he hits Curly in the head with the hammer from behind]
CURLY: Oh! Oh oh oh!
MOE: [grabs Curly and gives him the hammer] Take this hammer and drive those stakes. [grabs Larry by the hair] You help him.
LARRY: [grabs the hammer from Curly] I’ll show you.
MOE: Get this off my face and I’ll come back and murder ya. [leaves]
[Larry pounds one stake into the ground with the hammer]
LARRY: You don’t know how to do nothing.
[Larry finishes pounding the stake into the ground]
LARRY: Get that rope on!
[Curly tries to pull the rope from the tent over the stake, but the rope is too short. He yanks harder and the rope rips off of the tent. Curly ends up falling backwards off-camera]
CURLY: Oh! Whooooaaa!
[We hear a splash sound]
CURLY: Help! Help me! Help me!
[Curly falls on mud. Larry walks up to Curly to help him]
LARRY: Come here, you puddinhead. Give me a hand.
[Larry grabs Curly by the hand and he slowly pulls him up]
CURLY: Ahh!
LARRY: Come on!
CURLY: Ah!
LARRY: Alright! Up up!
[Curly finally manages to get up]
LARRY: What made you ever do a thing like that?
CURLY: What happened?
LARRY: I don’t know.
[We see Moe in the mud as well. He is a complete mess because he's covered from head to toe with mud]
MOE: Women and children first.
LARRY: Who is it?
MOE: What was the number of that truck?
LARRY: It’s Moe!!
[The scene ends and a new scene begins in the middle of the night. The stooges are sleeping together in one tent. They are all snoring and the wind from their snoring is shaking the tent. The stooges’ feet are hanging out at the end of the tent as they sleep. A lion walks by and starts licking Moe feet. Moe starts laughing hysterically and he awakes]
MOE: [taps Curly and wakes him up] Hey! [still laughing] Hey!
CURLY: [awakes] What’s the matter with you?
MOE: Stop tickling my feet.
CURLY: I ain’t tickling your feet. You must be dreaming.
[The lion stops licking Moe’s feet. Moe starts to calm down]
MOE: Oh! Oh!
[The stooges continue to sleep. The lion now starts licking Curly’s feet. Curly now laughs hysterically. Moe wakes up]
MOE: Hey! What’s eating ya?
CURLY: Stop tickling me. I can’t stand it.
[The lion stops licking Curly’s feet
MOE: I’m not tickling ya. Go on! Go to sleep! [hits Curly in the head]
CURLY: Oh!
[The lion starts to growl]
MOE: [to Curly] Hey, quit snoring, will ya?
CURLY: I ain’t snoring. It’s him. [points to Larry]
[Curly wakes Larry up by elbowing him]
LARRY: [wakes up] What’s the matter?
CURLY: Wake up and go to sleep.
LARRY: What d’ya wake me up for?
CURLY: You snore like a roaring lion.
LARRY: I do not. I stayed awake all last night to see if I snored and I didn’t.
CURLY: That’s different.
[Larry falls asleep instantly and snores again. Moe and Curly look at him. The lion growls again. The stooges awake and see the lion]
STOOGES: Ahh!!
[Cut to outside where we see the tent start to shake.]
CURLY: Oh look out!
LARRY: Let me out of here!
CURLY: Ah ah ah!
[The tent starts to move and run away]
CURLY: Woo woo woo!
[The scene ends and a new scene begins near a cave. Herbert is setting up the scene for the movie. Mirabel is dressed up as a cavewoman. She approaches Herbert]
MIRABEL: Well, how do I look?
HERBERT: Well, you look beautiful. You look beautiful. Now come on, darling.
[Cut to the stooges getting dressed up in the tent. Moe and Larry are dressed up as cavemen, while Curly is getting into his gorilla costume]
MOE: Gee I wish I was playing the gorilla part. Are you lucky, you get to make love to Mirabel.
CURLY: Well, I’m the Robert Taylor type. Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk.
MOE: Go on!
CURLY: Ruff! [snorts at Moe] Ruff!
MOE: [grabs his club] Don’t you growl at me!
[Curly waves his hand in front of Moe’s face and Moe follows it. Suddenly, we hear Herbert’s voice]
HERBERT: [calling the stooges] Hey you guys!
LARRY: [to Moe] Hey come on, hurry up. He’s waiting for us.
[Moe and Larry leave the tent and approach Herbert]
LARRY: Here we are!
MOE: Do we kiss her in this scene?
HERBERT: Now wait a minute, not so much of a hurry. Let me look at you. Well…
[Cut to the tent where Curly is getting into his gorilla costume]
CURLY: Wait till I get with Mirab--- [searches his pocket] Where’s my love candy? [finds the love candy inside his shirt pocket] Oh! Ha ha ha ha!
[Cut to a real gorilla roaming around in the jungle]
[Cut back to Curly in the tent. As he's getting dressed, he's admiring the love candy in his hand]
CURLY: Mmm. Mirabel!
[Cut to Moe, Larry, Herbert, and Mirabel]
HERBERT: [calling out to Curly] Curly! Come on, hurry up with that suit. [to Moe and Larry] Now---
[The real gorilla walks up behind Moe and Larry and it growls.]
MOE: [sees the gorilla thinking it’s Curly] Now you’re in character, bubblebrain!
HERBERT: Character? Why, he looks positively real!
[The gorilla growls]
MOE: Now pay attention or I’ll whack you over the head with this club.
HERBERT: [to Moe] Now you pay attention too. [to Moe and Larry] As the scene opens, you’re kneeling at her feet.
LARRY & MOE: Yes!
HERBERT: That’s where Curly comes in. You grab your clubs and you fight him.
LARRY & MOE: Yes.
HERBERT: He knocks you down.
LARRY & MOE: Yes.
HERBERT: You understand?
LARRY & MOE: No.
HERBERT: Well, we’ll try it anyway.
MOE: [to the gorilla] Hey Curly, you understand?
[The gorilla growls]
MOE: He understands.
HERBERT: That’ll help some.
[Herbert walks up behind the camera]
HERBERT: Alrighty! Action!
[Moe, Larry and Mirabel begin acting the scene]
MOE: Oh fair princess, in this gorgeous jungle setting, I throw my heart at your feet. [stands up] I love you!!
[The gorilla growls]
MIRABEL: [screams] Ahhhh!
MOE: Back foul beast! [Moe and Larry hit the gorilla with their clubs] No harm shall come to you, my love.
[The gorilla knocks Moe and Larry down to the floor]
HERBERT: That’s marvelous. Keep it up now, boys.
[Moe and Larry get up]
MOE: [to the gorilla] Ya bonehead, you don’t have to overdo it.
LARRY: After all, we’re only acting.
[The gorilla growls]
MOE: Back you!
LARRY: Back!
[The gorilla walks into the cave. Curly, who is now in the gorilla costume, walks out of the tent and lights a cigar]
MOE: How do you like that? I never---
[Moe and Larry turn around and see Curly. They now realize that the gorilla in the cave is a real gorilla]
LARRY & MOE: Ahhhhh!
[Moe and Larry run away]
HERBERT: Where are you going? Come on Curly! Curly, will you come out of the cave? Curly, I’m calling ya.
[Curly, who is still in his gorilla costume, walks up to Herbert from behind and taps him]
CURLY: Here I am. What do I do now?
HERBERT: [sees Curly] Ah! Ah!
[Herbert runs away because he now realizes that the gorilla in the cave is a real gorilla]
CURLY: [yelling out to Herbert] What’s the matter with you? Are you crazy? Where is everybody?
[The real gorilla comes out of the cave and growls]
CURLY: [sees the gorilla and walks up to it] So, that’s how it is, eh? Now scram! Now I told you before I’m gonna play this part. Now go on, beat it!
[Curly kicks the gorilla in the rear thinking it's Moe trying to steal his part]
CURLY: Go on!
[The gorilla gets mad. It growls and pounds its chest. It knocks Curly down to the floor]
CURLY: Go on!
[Cut to Moe and Larry hiding behind some leaves]
MOE: [to Larry] The g— gorilla! He’ll kill Curly.
CURLY: [realizes it's a real gorilla. He wipes his face with his hands in fear] Woo woo!
MOE: We gotta do something, come on!
[The gorilla drags Curly into the cave]
CURLY: Woo woo! Moe! Larry! Moe! Larry!
[Moe and Larry grab their rifles from their tents and they walk up to the outside of the cave]
CURLY: [to the gorilla] Look out! Look out! Look out! Go away! Go away!
LARRY: What’ll we do?
MOE: [grabs a coconut from the floor] We’ll scare him out with a coconut. When he comes out, we’ll shoot him.
[Moe throws a coconut into the cave and it accidentally hits Curly's face]
CURLY: Whoa! Oh! [to the gorilla] So you wanna play rough, eh? Mmm! Mmm!
[Curly takes a rock and breaks it on the gorilla’s head, knocking it out]
MOE: [to Larry] Get over there!
[Moe and Larry stand on opposite sides of the entrance of the cave. They stick their rifles out and get ready to shoot the gorilla when it comes out]
CURLY: Woo! Woo woo woo woo woo! [runs out of the cave]
[As Curly exits the cave, he sees the rifles Moe and Larry are using and he quickly falls on the floor.]
CURLY: Eeaah!
[Moe and Larry end up shooting each other over the head and their hats fly off]
MOE: Get him!
LARRY: Get him!
[Moe and Larry get ready to strike Curly with their rifles thinking that Curly is the real gorilla]
CURLY: Hey wait a minute! It’s me!
[Curly gets up]
CURLY: What’s the idea?
MOE: Where’s the gorilla?
CURLY: He’s inside. I knocked him out with a rock.
MOE: Let’s get started.
LARRY: Ok.
[Moe and Larry try to reload their rifles, but they can't because their guns are jammed]
MOE: Hey, my gun’s jammed.
LARRY: So is mine.
[The real gorilla revives and exits the cave]
CURLY: I’m gonna get this skin off. It got me in plenty of trouble.
MOE: Fine guns.
[Curly sees the real gorilla come out of the cave]
CURLY: Ah woo woo woo woo woo! [runs away]
[Moe and Larry don't see the gorilla because they're too busy fixing their rifles]
MOE: I gotta get it in that cage.
LARRY: Yup.
[The gorilla walks up behind Moe and Larry. He breathes on Moe's neck]
MOE: [to the gorilla, thinking it's Curly] Hey, quit breathing on me, will ya?
[The gorilla breathes on Larry’s neck]
LARRY: Cut it out, puddinhead!
[Curly is hiding behind some leaves.]
CURLY: [calling out to Moe and Larry] I’m not me!
MOE: [to the gorilla] That’s fine grammar for ya. I’m not me.
CURLY: [calling out to Moe and Larry] Hey Moe! Here I am!
[Moe and Larry see Curly. They turn around and the gorilla growls.]
MOE & LARRY: Ahhh!
[Moe and Larry run to Curly. The gorilla goes after the stooges and it growls.]
STOOGES: Ohhhh!
[The stooges run to Dr. Sulami’s cabin. They try to open the door, but they can’t. The gorilla approaches the stooges and it growls]
STOOGES: Whoa!!! Ahhh! Ahhh! Ohhh!
[The stooges run around the cabin. The stooges reach the front of the cabin again but their backs are turns toward the gorilla, so they don’t see it. The gorilla growls and scares the stooges]
STOOGES: Ohhhh!
[The stooges continues to run around the cabin]
MOE: Out of the way! Hurry up, would ya?
LARRY: Whoa! Whoa!
[Moe and Larry quickly run up to the front of the cabin and break in. They close the door when they get inside and they leave Curly behind]
MOE: Look out now!
LARRY: Whoa!
[Moe and Larry hold the door so no one can get in. Curly approaches the front of the cabin]
CURLY: Wooo! Woo!
[Curly bangs on the door of the cabin to ask Moe and Larry to let him in]
CURLY: Let me in! Let me in!
MOE: Ok, just a minute!
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo!
[The gorilla approaches Curly and growls]
CURLY: Oh oh! [runs away]
[Moe and Larry open the cabin door and they end up letting in the real gorilla without realizing it. When the gorilla walks in, Moe and Larry close the door again]
MOE: [to Larry] Hold tight so he don’t get in.
LARRY: Shh! Quiet! Maybe he’ll go away.
MOE: Ok. Ok.
[Curly runs up to the front of the cabin again]
CURLY: Wooo! Woo!
[Curly bangs on the cabin door again]
CURLY: Let me in! Let me in! I can’t hold out much longer.
MOE: Ok kid, we’ll have--- [looks at the gorilla]
[The gorilla growls]
LARRY & MOE: Ohhhh!
[Larry and Moe fall to the floor and they cover themselves up with a fur blanket]
[Curly breaks his way into the cabin]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!
[Curly sees a hammer and nail on the table. He grabs them]
CURLY: Woo woo! Woo!
[Curly nails the door shut with a hammer.]
CURLY: That’ll keep him out. I’ll take this head off before something else happens.
[Curly removes the head part of his gorilla costume]
CURLY: You know if you hadn’t let me in, I’d--- [turns around and sees the gorilla]
[Curly gets scared]
CURLY: Oh! Oh! Larry! Moe! Let me in! Woo woo! Please go away! Go away! [sees the bowl of love candy on the shelf behind him] Please here!
[Curly tries to give the bowl of love candy to the gorilla]
CURLY: Here! Some love candy. See? You know, love thy neighbor. Here take some.
[The gorilla growls]
CURLY: It’s delicious, see? Look! [eats some of the love candy] Mmm mmm mmm!
[Curly starts reacting to the love candy. He wipes his face a couple of times with his hands]
CURLY: Ahh! [to the gorilla] Darling!
[The gorilla growls]
CURLY: I love you. Give me a little kiss baby!
[The gorilla breaks the door down and runs away from Curly]
CURLY: Wait for papa, baby! Hey baby!
[Curly runs after the gorilla]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo!
--THE END--
[Mr. Botswaddle walks up to the open door, looks out in the hallway. He then closes it]
BOTSWADDLE: Oh, where is Mirabel, Mirabel? [turns to Herbert] Do you hear? Where is she?
HERBERT: How do I know? I’m not her husband. I’m only her director.
BOTSWADDLE: Well she knows we’re waiting for her.
[Mirabel walks in, but Botswaddle has his back turned]
BOTSWADDLE: Where is Mirabel, Mirabel?
MIRABEL: Here I am, B.O. Why all the huff?
BOTSWADDLE: [turns around] Oh, my darling. You know we leave within a week for Africa to make ‘Jilted in the Jungles.’ Why, you’ve got to get ready, my dear.
MIRABEL: Why go to Africa? The studio alone looks like a jungle.
BOTSWADDLE: Ye---
MIRABEL: Besides, we can’t leave until you get me a leading man.
BOTSWADDLE: Leading man! But in this picture, my darling, you work opposite a gorilla. [to Herbert] Haven’t we got anyone under contract that, uh, looks like an ape?
MIRABEL: No, not even your relatives
BOTSWADDLE: You look--- [does a double take] Oh! Pretty fresh, huh? But we’ll find one. [to Herbert] Get that script. I want to go over it. [to Mirabel] Come on. We’ll sit over here. We’ve got a lot of work to do.
[Botswaddle, Mirabel, and Herbert sit on the couch to look over the script. We hear several knocks on the door]
BOTSWADDLE: Come in.
[The stooges enter. Larry is holding a mop over his shoulder. Curly is holding a mop and brush over his shoulder]
MOE: [clears throat] Hi, Mr. Botswaddle. Can we clean up now?
LARRY: We’ll be as quiet as a mouse.
CURLY: Yeah, deaf and dumb mouse. Nyuk nyuk!
BOTSWADDLE: Ok, but don’t disturb us.
[The stooges signal to each other that they need to be quiet]
MOE: Now, Mr. Botswaddle---
[Larry and Curly turn around and they hit Moe in the head with the brush and mop that they're holding]
MOE: Ow!!!
BOTSWADDLE: Quiet!
[The stooges make the “Shh” signal to Botswaddle. Then, the stooges drop all of their stuff on the floor, making a lot of noise. Botswaddle and Herbert look annoyed but they resume what they’re doing.]
[Curly walks up to Botswaddle's desk. He takes the container of ink and pours it in a wine glass. He dumps that container in a pail of water. He takes another object from Botswaddle's desk and he also dumps that in the pail as well. He moves the glass of ink to the smaller table that's near the desk. Curly then cleans Botswaddle's desk by sweeping everything in the garbage]
[Cut to Larry and Moe. Larry is mopping while Moe is dusting. Moe tries to close the office door, but he ends up closing it on Larry's rear]
[Cut to Curly. He sprays some water on Botswaddle's desk. He then takes a window wiper and starts wiping off the water. Some of the water splashes on Moe and Larry. Moe and Larry stop what they're doing. Moe sees Larry's mop dripping, so he thinks it was him]
LARRY: Wait a minute---
[Moe grabs Larry's nose and hits it]
MOE: Shh!!
[Curly continues to wipe the desk with the wiper.]
MOE: I’ll knock your brains out! I---
[More water splashes on Moe and Larry. Now, Moe and Larry know it was Curly all the time. Moe signals to Larry to pick up the bucket of water. Larry picks it up and they approach Curly]
CURLY: Hold this. [hands Moe the wiper]
[Moe pulls Curly’s outer clothes with the wiper while Larry pours the bucket of water in]
CURLY: Haa! Haa hoo! Ha! Ta! Ta ta ta!
[Curly starts sticking out his fists]
CURLY: Hmm! Hmm!
MOE: Ah!! [slaps one of Curly’s fists and Curly ends up bonking Moe in the head]
MOE: Oh! [to Larry] Give me that bucket! Give me the bucket! Give me the bucket! I’ll murder ya!
[Moe grabs the bucket and throws it to Curly but he ducks. The bucket hits the glass door and it breaks. Botswaddle, Herbert, and Mirabel get startled]
CURLY: See! You missed me. Nyuk nyuk nyuk!
MOE: What ya duck for? See what you made me do?
[Moe twists Curly’s ears]
CURLY: Oh! [Larry hits Curly's stomach] Oh! [Moe hits Curly in the head] Ow!!
[Botswaddle and Herbert approach the stooges]
MOE: [to Curly] That’ll cost us a month’s salary.
BOTSWADDLE: Oh no, it won’t.
LARRY: Ohh! It won’t.
BOTSWADDLE: You’re fired!
CURLY: Fired, aye---
LARRY: [walks up to Botswaddle] Wait a minute! Please give us another chance, will you, Mr. Botswaddle?
BOTSWADDLE: No no!
MOE: We’re not really janitors, we’re actors.
CURLY: Why, Mr. Herbert, we’re the greatest impersonators in the world.
MOE: We’re terrific!
LARRY: We’re colossal.
CURLY: We’re even mediocre. Here’s an impersonation of a chicken with its head cut off.
[Curly falls to the floor]
CURLY: Eeeehh! Ahh!
[Curly starts spinning around on the floor. After he’s done, he gets up]
CURLY: What do you think of that, huh?
HERBERT: What do I think of that!? [to Botswaddle] Let me kill him. Just once! It won’t cost much. [tries to attack Curly, but Botswaddle holds him back]
CURLY: Oh, ungrateful, eh! Ruff! Arrf! [starts pounding his chest as he growls]
[Botswaddle and Herbert look shocked]
BOTSWADDLE: [to Herbert] Do you see the same thing I do? The fat one! Fate must have sent him. He’s the dead image of the missing link.
CURLY: Thank you! [starts to look confused] Huh?
HERBERT: I think you’re right. And look at the other two! Neanderthal men straight from the Stone Age!
BOTSWADDLE: We’ve found our leading man. Now we can start our picture at once. You men are hired!
CURLY: Fired and hired in once day. Thanks B.O.
[Dissolve to the stooges, Botswaddle, and Herbert, who are making a toast. Everyone has a glass of liquor, accept Curly who has the glass of ink]
HERBERT: To our success and Africa!
[Everyone accept Curly lifts their glass up]
MOE & LARRY: To Africa!
CURLY: [lifts his glass] Darkest Africa!
[Curly drinks his glass of ink. A mess of ink is left around his mouth after he drinks it]
CURLY: Ah!! Ah! Good! Cordial! [looks at his glass and he realizes what he just drank] Yahh!!
[The scene ends and a new scene begins in the middle of the jungle in Africa. The stooges, Herbert, and Mirabel are walking through the jungle]
HERBERT: Well, I wonder where that safari is. We ought to be up with them by now.
CURLY: Maybe they’re so-fari away, we’ll never catch ‘em. Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk---
[Moe grabs a large spoon that Curly is holding and he hits Curly in the head with it]
CURLY: Ow!
MOE: There’s our equipment. [points to a bunch of equipment lying in the middle of the jungle]
MOE: Come on.
[Herbert, Mirabel, Moe and Larry walk up to the equipment. Curly follows them and we see him walking with snowshoes.]
HERBERT: Well this is a fine kettle of fish. I told B.O not to pay those porters in advance. Now, they deserted us.
CURLY: You mean they ftt! [spits on Herbert’s face]
HERBERT: Yes, they ftt! [spits in Curly’s eye]
CURLY: Oh! [rubs his eye and turns to Moe] I knew it all the time.
HERBERT: [to the stooges] It’ll be dark pretty soon. We’re gonna pitch camp right here. You fellas see if you can find some water. [to Mirabel] Come on darling. I’ll make you comfortable.
[Herbert and Mirabel leave]
MOE: We gotta find some water.
[The stooges look around]
CURLY: Why there’s water everywhere. There’s water here.
MOE: Where?
CURLY: Up there! [points up to the tree]
[Curly shakes the tree and a lot of water falls on the stooges]
CURLY: Ah ah ah ah! I didn’t think there was that much water.
MOE: I’ll murder you!
LARRY: You didn’t think, eh!
[Moe and Larry chase after Curly as he runs away]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo--- [bumps into a tree] Oh! Oh!
[Moe and Larry catch up to Curly and grab him]
MOE: Ah, water everywhere huh! Why--- [extends his hand to hit Curly but he accidentally slaps Larry in the face]
LARRY: Oh!!
MOE: [turns to Larry] I didn’t mean that, kid!
CURLY: Look!
[Curly points to a small cabin with a sign that reads: “Dr. Ba Loni Sulami- Medicine Man. Hours 2 to 5 or by appointment”]
CURLY: Maybe there’s water over there.
MOE: Are you gonna start that again? [gets ready to punch Curly, but Dr. Sulami himself comes out from behind the tree and approaches the stooges]
DR. SULAMI: [in a native accent] Got lots water for you. Water welcome! Water welcome! Come eat water. Got nice supper! [points to the cabin]
CURLY: What are we waiting for?
MOE: Let’s go. Come on! [grabs Dr. Sulami]
LARRY: Come on.
[The stooges run up to the cabin]
CURLY: Woo woo woo!
MOE: Get in there!
[The stooges and Dr. Sulami enter the cabin. Inside the cabin, we see a pail hanging on top of a flame. Curly looks at it]
CURLY: Oh boy, am I hungry. What have we got for supper?
DR. SULAMI: Nice, fat missionary.
[The stooges get scared]
CURLY: Oh!!
[Dr. Sulami approaches Curly and taps his stomach]
DR. SULAMI: Hmm! Make nice big stew and I do mean stew.
CURLY: Maybe you’d rather have some pelican and I do mean pelican. [pulls Moe in front of him]
MOE: Here’s some wild muskrat for ya! [pulls Larry in front of him]
LARRY: Oh! [backs away in fright]
CURLY: [grabs a bowl of love candy from the shelf] Hey! What’s this?
DR. SULAMI: Them? Love candy. [lifts his arms up] Make big, strong love!
CURLY: Love candy? Oh boy! Mirabel! May it’ll make her love me. Ah ha ha!
[Curly grabs some love candy]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo! [gives a coin to Dr. Sulami]
DR. SULAMI: Big thanks. Customer always right.
[Dr. Sulami puts the coin into the little cash register]
DR. SULAMI: [turns to Curly] Me give you love candy, you give me nice, big bone. [puts his hand on Curly’s head] Make good soup.
[Dr. Sulami grabs a big knife. Curly sees the knife and now knows that Dr. Sulami plans on making soup out of him]
CURLY: Eh ah ah ah! [eyepokes Dr. Sulami] Ruff! [runs away]
DR. SULAMI: [holding his eyes in pain] Ah!
CURLY: Ah ah ah!
[Curly runs into a tree]
CURLY: Ah! Aaaaaahh! [faints and Moe catches him]
MOE: [to Curly] Hey kid! Key kid! Come on, he’ll make soup out of ya.
[Curly revives. The stooges see Dr. Sulami chasing after them]
CURLY: Eeeeh ah ah ah! Woo woo woo woo woo!
[The stooges run away]
[Dissolve to a scene where we see the stooges setting up a tent. Curly sees Mirabel combing her hair, so he stops what he is doing and takes out his love candy. He is about to walk towards her, but Moe stops him]
MOE: Hey! Where are you going?
CURLY: I’m going to give Mirabel some love candy.
MOE: Get back there and get to work. [slaps Curly in the back of the head]
CURLY: Oh stop it now. Stop it. All of the time, you’re always… always beefing, always hollering.
[Larry is seen standing and leaning against the side of tent. He is asleep and snoring. Curly takes a stake and pounds it to the ground with a sledgehammer]
CURLY: [as he's pounding] My day will come.
[As soon as Curly finishes hammering the stake into the ground, it pops up by itself]
CURLY: Ah! Hmm!
[Curly pounds the stake back into the ground. After he finishes, the stake stays in the ground and it doesn't pop up. He takes another stake and pounds it into the ground. Once he finishes pounding the second stake into the ground, the first stake pops up again]
CURLY: Ah ah! Hmm!
[Curly pounds the stake back into the ground, but as he does it, he accidentally hit himself in the face with the hammer]
CURLY: Oh oh ooh! Hmm!
[Curly finishes hammering the first stake into the ground. When he finishes, the two stakes stay in the ground. Curly stands up. Then, all of a sudden, both stakes pop up at the same time. Curly falls on the floor]
CURLY: Oh! Hmm! Moe, Lar--- Hmm! [starts whimpering] Ah! Moe Moe Moe Moe! Hey Moe!
[Moe walks up to Curly]
MOE: What’s the matter with you?
CURLY: They won’t stay in the ground.
MOE: What won’t?
CURLY: The stakes.
MOE: Oh, you turniphead. Hold it!
MOE: You never learn anything.
[Curly holds the stake as Moe tries to hit it with the hammer. When Moe tries to hit the stake, he accidentally hits Curly's hand]
CURLY: Oh oh oh! Oh oh! What do you want to do, drive me in the ground? Let me do it.
MOE: Hey, you ain’t out for revenge, are you?
CURLY: No, I wouldn’t hit ya, I never hit anybody in my life.
MOE: Well, just watch your P’s and Q’s.
CURLY: Where are they?
[Moe holds the stake next to a black puddle of water.]
CURLY: Oh! Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk!
[When Curly tries to hit the stake with the hammer, he accidentally hits the puddle and all the black water splashes on Moe's face and makes a mess]
CURLY: Ya ah!
[Moe tries to wipe his face with his hand.]
CURLY: Sorry Moe! I couldn’t help it. It just slipped. Honest. It’s an accident.
[As Moe wipes his face with his hand, he accidentally splashes some of the dirty, black water on Larry’s face. Larry has an angry look. Moe turns to Curly]
CURLY: Eaah! I’m sorry, pal. You musta moved.
MOE: Yeah, that’s alright, kid. [pinches Curly's face] Forget about it.
CURLY: Thank you, I--- I was really, I---
[Moe grabs the hammer from Curly. He turns around and he hits Curly in the head with the hammer from behind]
CURLY: Oh! Oh oh oh!
MOE: [grabs Curly and gives him the hammer] Take this hammer and drive those stakes. [grabs Larry by the hair] You help him.
LARRY: [grabs the hammer from Curly] I’ll show you.
MOE: Get this off my face and I’ll come back and murder ya. [leaves]
[Larry pounds one stake into the ground with the hammer]
LARRY: You don’t know how to do nothing.
[Larry finishes pounding the stake into the ground]
LARRY: Get that rope on!
[Curly tries to pull the rope from the tent over the stake, but the rope is too short. He yanks harder and the rope rips off of the tent. Curly ends up falling backwards off-camera]
CURLY: Oh! Whooooaaa!
[We hear a splash sound]
CURLY: Help! Help me! Help me!
[Curly falls on mud. Larry walks up to Curly to help him]
LARRY: Come here, you puddinhead. Give me a hand.
[Larry grabs Curly by the hand and he slowly pulls him up]
CURLY: Ahh!
LARRY: Come on!
CURLY: Ah!
LARRY: Alright! Up up!
[Curly finally manages to get up]
LARRY: What made you ever do a thing like that?
CURLY: What happened?
LARRY: I don’t know.
[We see Moe in the mud as well. He is a complete mess because he's covered from head to toe with mud]
MOE: Women and children first.
LARRY: Who is it?
MOE: What was the number of that truck?
LARRY: It’s Moe!!
[The scene ends and a new scene begins in the middle of the night. The stooges are sleeping together in one tent. They are all snoring and the wind from their snoring is shaking the tent. The stooges’ feet are hanging out at the end of the tent as they sleep. A lion walks by and starts licking Moe feet. Moe starts laughing hysterically and he awakes]
MOE: [taps Curly and wakes him up] Hey! [still laughing] Hey!
CURLY: [awakes] What’s the matter with you?
MOE: Stop tickling my feet.
CURLY: I ain’t tickling your feet. You must be dreaming.
[The lion stops licking Moe’s feet. Moe starts to calm down]
MOE: Oh! Oh!
[The stooges continue to sleep. The lion now starts licking Curly’s feet. Curly now laughs hysterically. Moe wakes up]
MOE: Hey! What’s eating ya?
CURLY: Stop tickling me. I can’t stand it.
[The lion stops licking Curly’s feet
MOE: I’m not tickling ya. Go on! Go to sleep! [hits Curly in the head]
CURLY: Oh!
[The lion starts to growl]
MOE: [to Curly] Hey, quit snoring, will ya?
CURLY: I ain’t snoring. It’s him. [points to Larry]
[Curly wakes Larry up by elbowing him]
LARRY: [wakes up] What’s the matter?
CURLY: Wake up and go to sleep.
LARRY: What d’ya wake me up for?
CURLY: You snore like a roaring lion.
LARRY: I do not. I stayed awake all last night to see if I snored and I didn’t.
CURLY: That’s different.
[Larry falls asleep instantly and snores again. Moe and Curly look at him. The lion growls again. The stooges awake and see the lion]
STOOGES: Ahh!!
[Cut to outside where we see the tent start to shake.]
CURLY: Oh look out!
LARRY: Let me out of here!
CURLY: Ah ah ah!
[The tent starts to move and run away]
CURLY: Woo woo woo!
[The scene ends and a new scene begins near a cave. Herbert is setting up the scene for the movie. Mirabel is dressed up as a cavewoman. She approaches Herbert]
MIRABEL: Well, how do I look?
HERBERT: Well, you look beautiful. You look beautiful. Now come on, darling.
[Cut to the stooges getting dressed up in the tent. Moe and Larry are dressed up as cavemen, while Curly is getting into his gorilla costume]
MOE: Gee I wish I was playing the gorilla part. Are you lucky, you get to make love to Mirabel.
CURLY: Well, I’m the Robert Taylor type. Nyuk nyuk nyuk nyuk.
MOE: Go on!
CURLY: Ruff! [snorts at Moe] Ruff!
MOE: [grabs his club] Don’t you growl at me!
[Curly waves his hand in front of Moe’s face and Moe follows it. Suddenly, we hear Herbert’s voice]
HERBERT: [calling the stooges] Hey you guys!
LARRY: [to Moe] Hey come on, hurry up. He’s waiting for us.
[Moe and Larry leave the tent and approach Herbert]
LARRY: Here we are!
MOE: Do we kiss her in this scene?
HERBERT: Now wait a minute, not so much of a hurry. Let me look at you. Well…
[Cut to the tent where Curly is getting into his gorilla costume]
CURLY: Wait till I get with Mirab--- [searches his pocket] Where’s my love candy? [finds the love candy inside his shirt pocket] Oh! Ha ha ha ha!
[Cut to a real gorilla roaming around in the jungle]
[Cut back to Curly in the tent. As he's getting dressed, he's admiring the love candy in his hand]
CURLY: Mmm. Mirabel!
[Cut to Moe, Larry, Herbert, and Mirabel]
HERBERT: [calling out to Curly] Curly! Come on, hurry up with that suit. [to Moe and Larry] Now---
[The real gorilla walks up behind Moe and Larry and it growls.]
MOE: [sees the gorilla thinking it’s Curly] Now you’re in character, bubblebrain!
HERBERT: Character? Why, he looks positively real!
[The gorilla growls]
MOE: Now pay attention or I’ll whack you over the head with this club.
HERBERT: [to Moe] Now you pay attention too. [to Moe and Larry] As the scene opens, you’re kneeling at her feet.
LARRY & MOE: Yes!
HERBERT: That’s where Curly comes in. You grab your clubs and you fight him.
LARRY & MOE: Yes.
HERBERT: He knocks you down.
LARRY & MOE: Yes.
HERBERT: You understand?
LARRY & MOE: No.
HERBERT: Well, we’ll try it anyway.
MOE: [to the gorilla] Hey Curly, you understand?
[The gorilla growls]
MOE: He understands.
HERBERT: That’ll help some.
[Herbert walks up behind the camera]
HERBERT: Alrighty! Action!
[Moe, Larry and Mirabel begin acting the scene]
MOE: Oh fair princess, in this gorgeous jungle setting, I throw my heart at your feet. [stands up] I love you!!
[The gorilla growls]
MIRABEL: [screams] Ahhhh!
MOE: Back foul beast! [Moe and Larry hit the gorilla with their clubs] No harm shall come to you, my love.
[The gorilla knocks Moe and Larry down to the floor]
HERBERT: That’s marvelous. Keep it up now, boys.
[Moe and Larry get up]
MOE: [to the gorilla] Ya bonehead, you don’t have to overdo it.
LARRY: After all, we’re only acting.
[The gorilla growls]
MOE: Back you!
LARRY: Back!
[The gorilla walks into the cave. Curly, who is now in the gorilla costume, walks out of the tent and lights a cigar]
MOE: How do you like that? I never---
[Moe and Larry turn around and see Curly. They now realize that the gorilla in the cave is a real gorilla]
LARRY & MOE: Ahhhhh!
[Moe and Larry run away]
HERBERT: Where are you going? Come on Curly! Curly, will you come out of the cave? Curly, I’m calling ya.
[Curly, who is still in his gorilla costume, walks up to Herbert from behind and taps him]
CURLY: Here I am. What do I do now?
HERBERT: [sees Curly] Ah! Ah!
[Herbert runs away because he now realizes that the gorilla in the cave is a real gorilla]
CURLY: [yelling out to Herbert] What’s the matter with you? Are you crazy? Where is everybody?
[The real gorilla comes out of the cave and growls]
CURLY: [sees the gorilla and walks up to it] So, that’s how it is, eh? Now scram! Now I told you before I’m gonna play this part. Now go on, beat it!
[Curly kicks the gorilla in the rear thinking it's Moe trying to steal his part]
CURLY: Go on!
[The gorilla gets mad. It growls and pounds its chest. It knocks Curly down to the floor]
CURLY: Go on!
[Cut to Moe and Larry hiding behind some leaves]
MOE: [to Larry] The g— gorilla! He’ll kill Curly.
CURLY: [realizes it's a real gorilla. He wipes his face with his hands in fear] Woo woo!
MOE: We gotta do something, come on!
[The gorilla drags Curly into the cave]
CURLY: Woo woo! Moe! Larry! Moe! Larry!
[Moe and Larry grab their rifles from their tents and they walk up to the outside of the cave]
CURLY: [to the gorilla] Look out! Look out! Look out! Go away! Go away!
LARRY: What’ll we do?
MOE: [grabs a coconut from the floor] We’ll scare him out with a coconut. When he comes out, we’ll shoot him.
[Moe throws a coconut into the cave and it accidentally hits Curly's face]
CURLY: Whoa! Oh! [to the gorilla] So you wanna play rough, eh? Mmm! Mmm!
[Curly takes a rock and breaks it on the gorilla’s head, knocking it out]
MOE: [to Larry] Get over there!
[Moe and Larry stand on opposite sides of the entrance of the cave. They stick their rifles out and get ready to shoot the gorilla when it comes out]
CURLY: Woo! Woo woo woo woo woo! [runs out of the cave]
[As Curly exits the cave, he sees the rifles Moe and Larry are using and he quickly falls on the floor.]
CURLY: Eeaah!
[Moe and Larry end up shooting each other over the head and their hats fly off]
MOE: Get him!
LARRY: Get him!
[Moe and Larry get ready to strike Curly with their rifles thinking that Curly is the real gorilla]
CURLY: Hey wait a minute! It’s me!
[Curly gets up]
CURLY: What’s the idea?
MOE: Where’s the gorilla?
CURLY: He’s inside. I knocked him out with a rock.
MOE: Let’s get started.
LARRY: Ok.
[Moe and Larry try to reload their rifles, but they can't because their guns are jammed]
MOE: Hey, my gun’s jammed.
LARRY: So is mine.
[The real gorilla revives and exits the cave]
CURLY: I’m gonna get this skin off. It got me in plenty of trouble.
MOE: Fine guns.
[Curly sees the real gorilla come out of the cave]
CURLY: Ah woo woo woo woo woo! [runs away]
[Moe and Larry don't see the gorilla because they're too busy fixing their rifles]
MOE: I gotta get it in that cage.
LARRY: Yup.
[The gorilla walks up behind Moe and Larry. He breathes on Moe's neck]
MOE: [to the gorilla, thinking it's Curly] Hey, quit breathing on me, will ya?
[The gorilla breathes on Larry’s neck]
LARRY: Cut it out, puddinhead!
[Curly is hiding behind some leaves.]
CURLY: [calling out to Moe and Larry] I’m not me!
MOE: [to the gorilla] That’s fine grammar for ya. I’m not me.
CURLY: [calling out to Moe and Larry] Hey Moe! Here I am!
[Moe and Larry see Curly. They turn around and the gorilla growls.]
MOE & LARRY: Ahhh!
[Moe and Larry run to Curly. The gorilla goes after the stooges and it growls.]
STOOGES: Ohhhh!
[The stooges run to Dr. Sulami’s cabin. They try to open the door, but they can’t. The gorilla approaches the stooges and it growls]
STOOGES: Whoa!!! Ahhh! Ahhh! Ohhh!
[The stooges run around the cabin. The stooges reach the front of the cabin again but their backs are turns toward the gorilla, so they don’t see it. The gorilla growls and scares the stooges]
STOOGES: Ohhhh!
[The stooges continues to run around the cabin]
MOE: Out of the way! Hurry up, would ya?
LARRY: Whoa! Whoa!
[Moe and Larry quickly run up to the front of the cabin and break in. They close the door when they get inside and they leave Curly behind]
MOE: Look out now!
LARRY: Whoa!
[Moe and Larry hold the door so no one can get in. Curly approaches the front of the cabin]
CURLY: Wooo! Woo!
[Curly bangs on the door of the cabin to ask Moe and Larry to let him in]
CURLY: Let me in! Let me in!
MOE: Ok, just a minute!
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo!
[The gorilla approaches Curly and growls]
CURLY: Oh oh! [runs away]
[Moe and Larry open the cabin door and they end up letting in the real gorilla without realizing it. When the gorilla walks in, Moe and Larry close the door again]
MOE: [to Larry] Hold tight so he don’t get in.
LARRY: Shh! Quiet! Maybe he’ll go away.
MOE: Ok. Ok.
[Curly runs up to the front of the cabin again]
CURLY: Wooo! Woo!
[Curly bangs on the cabin door again]
CURLY: Let me in! Let me in! I can’t hold out much longer.
MOE: Ok kid, we’ll have--- [looks at the gorilla]
[The gorilla growls]
LARRY & MOE: Ohhhh!
[Larry and Moe fall to the floor and they cover themselves up with a fur blanket]
[Curly breaks his way into the cabin]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo woo woo woo!
[Curly sees a hammer and nail on the table. He grabs them]
CURLY: Woo woo! Woo!
[Curly nails the door shut with a hammer.]
CURLY: That’ll keep him out. I’ll take this head off before something else happens.
[Curly removes the head part of his gorilla costume]
CURLY: You know if you hadn’t let me in, I’d--- [turns around and sees the gorilla]
[Curly gets scared]
CURLY: Oh! Oh! Larry! Moe! Let me in! Woo woo! Please go away! Go away! [sees the bowl of love candy on the shelf behind him] Please here!
[Curly tries to give the bowl of love candy to the gorilla]
CURLY: Here! Some love candy. See? You know, love thy neighbor. Here take some.
[The gorilla growls]
CURLY: It’s delicious, see? Look! [eats some of the love candy] Mmm mmm mmm!
[Curly starts reacting to the love candy. He wipes his face a couple of times with his hands]
CURLY: Ahh! [to the gorilla] Darling!
[The gorilla growls]
CURLY: I love you. Give me a little kiss baby!
[The gorilla breaks the door down and runs away from Curly]
CURLY: Wait for papa, baby! Hey baby!
[Curly runs after the gorilla]
CURLY: Woo woo woo woo!
--THE END--
FAIR USE NOTICE: This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of the issues involved. We believe this constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for research and educational purposes. For more information please visit: http://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/17/107.shtml. If you wish to use copyrighted material from this site for purposes of your own that go beyond 'fair use', you must obtain permission directly from the copyright owner.
